(I hate writing! So this won't be long, unless you guys support me, i might put more effort in~)
Somewhere in the multiverse, far beyond the confines of coherent storytelling and continuity, Gwenpool was having a moment.
Not a main plot moment.
A "lazy, stretched-out Sunday with existential dread creeping in from the edges but being politely ignored" moment.
She lounged in a ridiculous inflatable kiddie pool set in the middle of a floating platform, orbiting what appeared to be a giant space cat's head.
Around her, pink flamingo pool floats spun slowly in zero gravity. A glittery banner drifted lazily overhead that read:
"OFF-DUTY HERO VIBES ONLY"
Jeff the Land Shark floated by in a rubber duck tube, sipping on a juice box with a tiny umbrella. He burped bubbles shaped like tiny hearts and crabs.
Gwen, wearing shutter shades and a pink bathrobe over her suit, sighed dramatically.
"I feel so... off-panel lately," she said. "Like I'm not in the story right now. Just kinda... vibing around the margins."
She held up a comic book labeled Plot Thread: Luna Snow, Saitama, Spidey Friends. She stared at it. Poked it. Sighed again.
"Yeah, you guys are doing great. Having emotional arcs, meeting idols, chasing mysterious anomalies..." She glanced up.
"Meanwhile, I'm out here like a deleted scene from Deadpool 3 that never made it past the concept art phase."
Jeff squeaked in sympathy.
With a snap of her fingers, everything warped.
The floating pool melted away into a comfy TVA lounge area, the real one, all warm lights, retro furniture, and that weird endless hum in the background that sounds like existential bureaucracy.
On a nearby couch sat Loki, the version who now guarded the timelines like some divine cosmic librarian.
He wore a wool scarf with multiversal runes stitched into it and looked more tired than usual. He was knitting something. Again.
Mobius appeared beside him holding two mugs. He paused when he saw Gwen.
"Oh come on," he said flatly. "You again?"
"Bonjour!" Gwen greeted with a flourishing spin, flopping into a nearby armchair and kicking up her booted feet. "Miss me?"
"You don't exist in this branch" Loki said without looking up from his knitting. "Or any branch. Or in canon."
"Exactly!" Gwen grinned. "That makes me the safest person to talk to when you're stuck between fate and Netflix queues."
Jeff the Land Shark waddled in behind her, dragging a pillow and some fish-shaped cookies.
Mobius eyed him. "Is that... legal?"
"Relax" Gwen said. "Jeff's multiverse-certified emotional support apex predator. And he doesn't bite unless provoked."
Jeff bit a pillow out of protest. Softly.
Loki set his knitting aside, half a sweater that somehow shimmered with starlight and fractured timelines. "What do you want, Gwenpool?"
She shrugged, grabbing the mug Mobius wasn't drinking.
"Honestly? I just want to feel relevant again. Like I matter. Not everything needs to be big stakes and cosmic consequences. Sometimes you just wanna be invited to the main arc ramen hangout, you know?"
Mobius nodded. "Yeah. Been there."
"You are there," Gwen pointed out. "You literally run the place that holds together reality. I'm barely running my Twitter account."
She took a sip, then leaned her head back and sighed, gazing at the TVA ceiling.
"I found Jeff again today," she said.
"Thought he got left behind in that crossover with the sharks and the swords and the awkward pacing, but nope, he was in a dream sequence some writer forgot to finish. Typical."
Jeff let out a proud bwah and curled up beside her chair.
"Honestly," she muttered, "if I hadn't popped in to rescue him, he'd be canon-fodder in some gritty reboot by now. Probably voiced by Vin Diesel or something."
There was a quiet pause.
Then Gwen turned and looked directly at... you know....
"Yes, you. Don't pretend you're not here. I can feel the fourth wall cracking."
She leaned forward conspiratorially.
"You ever get that feeling? Like the story's going on without you? Like you're waiting for your page to turn, your moment to start, but it just... doesn't?"
A beat.
"...Same."
She sat back, placing the mug down.
"But you know what? That's okay. Because even if I'm not in the main plot right now... I'm still here. I've still got Jeff. I've got cocoa. I've got friends in weird cosmic places."
She glanced at Loki, who was now eyeing her with the faintest hint of amusement.
"Besides," she smirked, "I'm Gwenpool. I don't wait for the story. I break into it."
Mobius groaned. "Please don't."
Too late.
With a wink, she snapped her fingers and opened a glowing pink portal.
"Time to crash someone else's arc."
Jeff barked excitedly and jumped through.
Gwen followed, backpack, foam swords, and bubble tea in tow.
Before disappearing, she turned back toward Loki and Mobius one last time.
"Don't wait up~."
And with that, Gwenpool was gone.
The TVA lounge was quiet again.
Mobius looked over at Loki. "So, uh... you think she'll actually mess something up?"
Loki sighed, picked up his half-knit sweater, and returned to his cosmic stitching.
"She already has."
...
The pink portal swirled closed behind her, leaving the TVA lounge in silence.
But on the last page, just as you think the chapter's done, a pink sticky note flutters into view and slaps onto the "camera."
It reads, in sparkly pen:
✨ Chapter whatever: Gwenpool hijacking Mana(The supposed author, sorry girl) chapter™ ✨
Written, edited, and emotionally approved by Yours Truly.
Yes, I hijacked a whole chapter. No, I don't regret it.
You're welcome for the Jeff content. 🦈💖
-Gwen P.
P.S. If the next chapter doesn't have me in it, I will add more musical numbers. Try me.