Ace's laughter boomed through Partys Bar, echoing off the wooden rafters, drawing the attention of every patron still lingering after the pirate excitement. "I knew it! She's completely, utterly, head-over-heels—" His words, laced with pure, unadulterated teasing malice, hit me with the force of one of Garp Ji-san's less-than-gentle 'love taps'. My face, already warm from the pie and the lingering adrenaline, ignited into a full-blown inferno.
"SHUT UP, ACE!" I exploded, slamming my hands down on the table, making the mugs jump and nearly sending the remnants of the pie flying. The sheer audacity of him! After everything – the fight, the fear, the shared moments of vulnerability – he was still finding new ways to embarrass me in front of what felt like the entire village. "Or would you like another punch?! A real one this time?!" I brandished my fist, which still ached faintly from connecting with his thick skull earlier.
Ace, far from being intimidated, just grinned wider, leaning back in his chair, thoroughly enjoying my flustered fury. "Ooh, threatening me now, Calamity Girl? Is that how you show your affection?" He winked. "Trying to protect your precious Luffy from my harmless teasing?"
Luffy, meanwhile, was blissfully oblivious. He had located another small piece of pie on his plate and was meticulously maneuvering it into his mouth, his entire focus consumed by the act of eating. Explosions could go off, Sea Kings could crash through the wall, but when Luffy was eating, the world outside his immediate vicinity ceased to exist. His cheeks were puffed out, his eyes half-closed in gustatory bliss.
The fishermen in the bar, their initial fear of 'The Divine Calamity' somewhat eroded by the sight of me bickering with Ace and gently feeding Luffy, started chuckling amongst themselves. One old salt, with a weathered face and a pipe clenched between his teeth, let out a wheezing laugh. "Heh heh heh! Seems like our Luffy's grown up a bit, eh, Makino-chan? Gonna have himself a girlfriend soon, and a feisty one at that!"
Makino, who had been trying to discreetly clear away some of the empty mugs, smiled a genuine, warm smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "They certainly make a lively group, don't they, Mayor?" she said to the old man, who I now realized must be Woop Slap, the village mayor Ace and Luffy occasionally mentioned with a mixture of annoyance and grudging respect.
"Lively is one word for it," Woop Slap grumbled, though there was a hint of amusement in his tone. He looked from Luffy's oblivious munching to my fuming face, then to Ace's triumphant smirk. "Vice Admiral Garp certainly knows how to pick 'em. Or attract 'em, as the case may be." His gaze lingered on me for a moment, a flicker of the earlier caution returning, but it was overshadowed by the sheer, undeniable chaos of the scene.
Ace seized on the mayor's comment. "See, Akane? Even the Mayor thinks you two are an item! It's destiny! The rubber idiot and the fiery calamity! Sounds like a ballad in the making!" He dramatically clasped his hands to his chest. "Oh, Luffy, my love, your rubbery heart makes my calamitous soul sing!"
"THAT'S IT!" I roared, pushing back my chair with a screech. I was going to throttle him. Public embarrassment be damned. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, and Ace's relentless, increasingly theatrical teasing was pushing me over the edge. "You are going to eat those words, Ace, along with my fist!"
"Ooh, promises, promises!" Ace taunted, already shifting in his chair, ready to dodge. "Are you going to seal that promise with a kiss for Luffy first? To give you strength?"
Luffy, finally finishing his last crumb of pie, looked up, blinking at the sudden escalation. "Huh? Kiss? Who's kissing? Can I have more pie?" His innocent confusion, his complete lack of awareness of the verbal (and almost physical) battle raging around his head, was almost infuriatingly endearing.
I lunged across the small space separating our sides of the table, aiming a fist not at Ace's head this time, but at his smug, laughing mouth. If I could just shut him up for five seconds…
Ace, anticipating my move, leaned back sharply to avoid the punch. He was fast, his Rokushiki training showing even in his evasive maneuvers. My fist whistled past his nose, hitting empty air.
But in my lunge, fueled by righteous fury and embarrassment, I'd overextended. My momentum carried me forward, over the table, just as Luffy, curious about the commotion and perhaps hoping more pie was involved, leaned forward from his side.
What happened next was a blur of motion, a collision of unfortunate timing and misplaced trajectory.
Instead of connecting with Ace's irritating face, my forward momentum brought my face, specifically my lips, into direct, unmistakable contact with Luffy's.
It wasn't a gentle touch. It was a clumsy, unexpected, full-on collision. His lips were soft, surprisingly so, and tasted faintly of sweet pie and saltwater. For a fraction of a second, the world stopped. The noise of the bar, Ace's laughter, even my own anger – it all faded into a roaring silence in my ears. My eyes were wide open, staring directly into Luffy's equally wide, shocked brown eyes, inches from mine. His pie-induced bliss was gone, replaced by an expression of utter, dumbfounded surprise.
Then, reality crashed back in with the force of a Buster Call.
I recoiled as if burned, scrambling back so fast I nearly fell off my stool. My hand flew to my mouth, my fingers brushing against my lips, which tingled with a strange, unfamiliar sensation. My mind went completely blank. What had just happened? Did that… did that actually just happen?
The bar, which had been filled with laughter and chatter moments before, fell into a stunned, absolute silence. Every single person – Ace, Makino, Woop Slap, the fishermen – was staring, their mouths agape, their eyes wide with disbelief. Even the dust motes dancing in the sunbeams seemed to hang suspended in the air.
Ace was the first to break. His teasing smirk had vanished, replaced by an expression of pure, slack-jawed shock. His eyes were as round as dinner plates. He looked from me to Luffy, then back to me, then back to Luffy, as if he couldn't quite believe what his own eyes had just witnessed. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, speechless for what might have been the first time in his life.
Makino's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide with a mixture of shock and something that looked suspiciously like suppressed amusement. Woop Slap's pipe fell from his open mouth, clattering unnoticed onto the floor. The fishermen looked like they'd just seen a Sea King learn to tap dance.
Luffy, for his part, just sat there, frozen, his eyes still wide, his face slowly turning a shade of red that rivaled my crimson hair. He touched his own lips with a trembling finger, his expression one of utter, bewildered confusion. He looked at me, then quickly looked away, then looked back, then stared down at the table, his ears glowing a bright, fiery red.
"E-eh…?" he finally stammered, his voice a small, squeaky thing I'd never heard from him before. "Wha… Wha-wha-wha…?" He couldn't seem to form a coherent word. His entire body seemed to be vibrating with a strange energy.
Then, with a sudden, explosive burst of motion that had nothing to do with Rokushiki and everything to do with sheer, overwhelming panic, Luffy shot to his feet.
"G-G-GOTTA GO!" he yelped, his voice cracking. He didn't look at anyone. He didn't grab any more pie. He just turned and bolted out of the bar, a rubbery red streak disappearing through the doorway as if the hounds of hell (or perhaps just a very embarrassed girl) were nipping at his heels. He ran so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet, stumbling once before regaining his balance and vanishing down the street.
The silence in the bar stretched for another long, agonizing moment after Luffy's dramatic exit. Then, Ace finally found his voice.
"H-holy…" he breathed, still staring at the empty doorway where Luffy had disappeared. He slowly turned his gaze back to me, his expression a bizarre mixture of awe, disbelief, and dawning, uncontrollable mirth. A small snicker escaped his lips, then another, and then he just couldn't hold it in anymore.
He threw back his head and roared with laughter, a loud, unrestrained sound that was ten times more gleeful than any of his previous teasing. He clutched his stomach, tears streaming down his face, practically falling out of his chair. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY KAMI! HE— HE KISSED HER! OR SHE KISSED HIM! I DON'T EVEN KNOW! BUT IT HAPPENED! LUFFY'S FIRST KISS! AND IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! WITH THE DIVINE CALAMITY!"
His laughter was infectious. The fishermen, recovering from their shock, started chuckling, then roaring with laughter themselves. Woop Slap picked up his pipe, shaking his head and letting out a wheezing cackle. Even Makino, despite her best efforts to maintain her composure, couldn't suppress a giggle, her shoulders shaking.
My face felt like it was literally on fire. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. I wanted to use Soru to disappear to the other side of the Grand Line. I wanted to punch Ace so hard he flew back up Mt. Colubo. I had faced down a Buster Call, survived four years on the run, fought off pirates, endured Garp Ji-san's hellish training… and this, this was the most mortifying moment of my entire life.
Ace, still gasping for breath between peals of laughter, managed to point a trembling finger at me. "And you, Akane!" he choked out. "Your face! It's priceless! Redder than your hair! Did you enjoy your first kiss with my idiot brother? Was it… rubbery?" He dissolved into another fit of helpless laughter.
I just sat there, frozen, speechless, my mind reeling. One thought, however, managed to push its way through the haze of embarrassment and shock, a small, terrifyingly clear realization.
Luffy… he'd run. He'd run away from me. As if I was the monster.
What did that mean?
Ace, finally regaining some semblance of control, wiped his eyes, a huge, satisfied grin plastered across his face. He looked at me, his eyes sparkling with triumph. "Well, Akane," he said, his voice still thick with laughter, "looks like you finally managed to shut me up." He paused, his grin widening into something almost predatory.
"But I think," he continued, leaning forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper that promised endless future torment, "you just gave me teasing material for the rest of our lives. Or at least until Luffy stops hiding under a rock." He winked.
"So," he asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "When's the wedding?