Deep within the beast…
In a damp, revolting darkness…
Alan writhed like a seizure-stricken worm, his body riddled with swords as if he were a scrap dealer.
But suddenly...
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Alan (with a trembling voice):
"Wait a second… maybe… maybe I can…"
A dreadful silence.
Then a spark of intelligence flickered...
Or at least something resembling it.
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Alan (shouting while pulling out two swords):
"IT'S TIME TO COOK FROM THE INSIDE!"
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The massacre began.
Alan slashed the slimy tissues right and left,
Each stab echoed with a distant roar from the beast outside.
Gargoth and Kira watched as if witnessing an internal fireworks display inside a monstrous body.
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Gargoth (observing):
"I think... he's doing something useful for once."
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Kira (closing her eyes, wincing at the sounds):
"It sounds... moist."
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Then...
A sticky explosion.
Alan emerged from the beast's belly like a newborn swordsman,
Covered in blood and viscera,
But raising his hands proudly, as if he had just won a race against himself.
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Alan (shouting):
"I… AM… REBORN!!"
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The beast groaned, staggered, and fell like a massive mountain,
Shaking the earth beneath it and leaving a heavy silence behind…
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Gargoth (stepping forward with his hammer):
"Let me finish this mess."
One solid blow struck the beast's second skull,
Shattering it, sending blood splattering everywhere.
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Kira (sighing as she looks at Alan):
"You look disgusting."
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Alan (smiling proudly):
"And victorious."
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And so…
The battle ended, and with it the beast's innards forever.
The beast fell... all was calm...
And Alan finally stood, dripping with fluids and unbearable stench,
Yet his eyes burned with pride and triumph, as if he had done something legendary...
But wait...
There was a small problem.
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Gargoth (approaching heavily):
"You look like a damn iron cactus."
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Alan (confident smile):
"Yup! The Cactus of Victory!"
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Gargoth didn't reply, just grabbed one of the swords stuck in Alan's shoulder...
Then pulled.
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Alan (screaming):
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"
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Alan (teary-eyed):
"WHY DID YOU DO IT LIKE THAT?! GENTLY, GENTLY!"
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Gargoth (coolly):
"I am being gentle."
Then pulled another sword.
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Alan (writhing in pain):
"MY SPLEEN! I FELT MY SPLEEN WAVE GOODBYE!"
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Kira watched from afar, unable to tell if the scene was tragic or comedic.
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Kira (fiddling with her ears):
"They're both idiots."
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Gargoth pulled out the last sword with a slightly sinister smile,
And Alan, well, was nearly unconscious.
But luckily... his body started regenerating immediately.
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Alan (groaning):
"I think I saw the ancestors… they said I'm too dumb to die."
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With the last sword removed, Alan collapsed to the ground, breathing as if returned from hell itself.
Gargoth placed his hands on his hips and said confidently:
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Gargoth:
"You're good to go. Or roll. Whichever."
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But the journey was far from over...
The road remained long...
And the fool was still in front!
It was a quiet night, or so everyone thought...
The fire glowed in the dark, the only sounds were insects and the wind whispering softly among the trees...
Kira sat on a small rock, took out her prized map, always precise...
She unfolded it carefully and pressed her finger on their location...
Silence fell.
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Kira (frowning):
"…We're… still at the beginning."
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Alan (mouth full of cake):
"Whaff? Beginning? After all that?!"
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Gargoth (looking at the map):
"She's right. We've barely covered 5% of the path."
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Alan swallowed the cake hard, as if swallowing a rock.
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Alan (staring at the map):
"Are you sure this map isn't upside down? Or cursed?"
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Kira (mockingly relieved):
"It's accurate. You're just slow."
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Alan (crying inside):
"So you're telling me... all the pain… all the stabbing… all the biting… and I still haven't reached halfway?!"
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Gargoth (laughing):
"That's the spirit, Captain Cactus."
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Alan sprawled on the ground like a lifeless corpse, staring at the stars as if recalculating his life.
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Alan (whispering):
"Maybe being a janitor wasn't so bad..."
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But no time for regrets...
The map lay before them...
And the journey showed no mercy.
The wind blew softly through the trees, the fire still glowed quietly.
Kira was asleep beside the map, and Gargoth snored like a giant beast breathing through its nose.
But... not everyone was asleep.
Eyes sparkled behind the trees, slipping silently, footsteps unheard...
Those eyes belonged to Lythia, the beautiful chaos, here for a clear purpose.
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She approached Alan quietly, who lay on his back like someone electrocuted and resigned to his fate.
Suddenly... she whispered in his ear.
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Lythia (whispering):
"Wake up, dummy. And don't scream."
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Alan (eyes wide with panic):
"AAAAHH—!"
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Immediately, she put her hand over his mouth, forcing silence.
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Lythia (hissing quietly):
"I just said don't scream, idiot."
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Alan (mumbling under her hand):
"Mmmmhh?!!"
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Lythia (with a seductive smile):
"Come with me. Let's have a little fun."
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She dragged him by the hand behind the trees, and he understood nothing of what was happening, not knowing if he was dreaming or trapped in a nightmare.
His eyes shone with terror, his heart pounding like a war drum.
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Alan (whispering in fear):
"Is this... a kidnapping?"
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Lythia (light laughter):
"Only if you want it to be."
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As their voices faded into the night shadows...
Lythia began her mischievous plan with that clueless fool... who... unfortunately... still understood nothing.
But... the journey is not over yet.
To be continued...