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The journey to the Heavenly Culinary Carnival was far from ordinary. Lin Feng, Bai Xue, and Flame Duck traveled by cart—pulled not by horses, but by a team of enchanted pickled cucumbers. They wobbled and squelched with every step, making an eerie, almost rhythmic sound that reminded Lin Feng of soggy noodles.
"This is going to be an absolute disaster," Bai Xue said, frowning as she watched a cucumber wobble dangerously to the left.
"No, no, it's going to be brilliant!" Flame Duck cheered, wearing a chef's hat far too large for his head. "The pickled cucumbers are the perfect mode of transport! They're unique, organic, and… salty."
Master Zhou, sitting on a tiny stool in the cart, muttered something about "picking battles" and "not getting food poisoning."
They reached the gates of the Heavenly Culinary Carnival by sunset. The colossal archway was made of dough, held up by crispy golden pillars, and the aroma of the place hit them like a tidal wave of spices and simmering broth. It was a feast for the senses, but not necessarily for the faint of heart.
"The Pickled Judges of Doom are known to be… well, a bit sour," Master Zhou warned. "They have no tolerance for poor seasoning."
"Just don't mess up the plating," Bai Xue advised, giving Flame Duck a disapproving look as he stuffed an entire steamed bun into his mouth.
Inside the carnival, food stalls lined the streets like a golden labyrinth, with vibrant signs boasting everything from Fire-breathing Chicken Wings to Ice Cream that Could Cut You. The crowd was rowdy, eager, and possibly about to explode into a food fight at any moment.
But the real test lay at the grand stage, where the Pickled Judges of Doom awaited. Lin Feng could already feel the pressure building. This wasn't just any food contest. This was a battle of soul and seasoning, where one mistake could lead to humiliation—or worse, the Dooming Marmalade of Rejection.
At the center of the stage sat the three infamous judges, each wearing an expression that could sour the sweetest of fruits.
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The Judges
The first judge, Pickle-Queen Kumari, was an ancient culinary legend. Her eyes were the color of overripe tomatoes, and her hands had the subtle shake of a seasoned chef who had tasted every dish the world had to offer.
"You dare challenge the Queen of Preservation?" she sneered, swirling her vinegary gaze over Lin Feng's team. "I've pickled more ingredients than you've ever seen in your miserable little kitchens."
The second judge, Crisp-Drake Taro, was known for his fiery temper and even more fiery cooking. His beard was a tangled mess of deep-fried noodles, and his robe was made entirely of crispy tempura. With a glare, he raised his hand and flames erupted from his fingers, turning the air into a sizzling inferno.
"Flame-broiled nonsense will not pass here," he growled. "If your dish isn't as hot as my temper, then you'll be incinerated on the spot."
The third judge, The Celestial Cucumber—an ancient being of unimaginable wisdom and power—was an enigmatic figure who had long since mastered the art of pickle-based combat. His face was concealed by a translucent cucumber slice, and his voice was like a whisper in the wind.
"Only those who understand the balance of flavors shall pass this trial," he intoned. "Bring me your creation. Let us see if it has the soul of a true chef."
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The Challenge
Lin Feng stepped forward, holding his creation with trembling hands. It was a Lotus Blossom Duck, stuffed with fragrant herbs and glazed with a delicate honey-and-soya sauce. It had taken hours to prepare, and Lin Feng had made sure that every detail, from the sauce to the presentation, was perfect.
Flame Duck, however, stood beside him, proudly presenting his dish—a towering pile of Deep-Fried Everything.
"This is my masterpiece!" Flame Duck announced, his feathers ruffling with pride. "It's not just food, it's an experience. An explosion of crunch! A journey into the unknown! The future of culinary art!"
Bai Xue glanced at the dish and then at Lin Feng's. "I think I'm going to need a drink."
"Don't worry," Flame Duck said, his voice filled with unearned confidence. "They won't be able to resist the crunch!"
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The Tasting
The first judge, Pickle-Queen Kumari, took one look at Lin Feng's dish, and then another. Her nose twitched as she delicately sliced into the duck. She tasted it slowly, closing her eyes as if savoring a memory.
"Mmm," she muttered, and for a brief moment, Lin Feng's heart soared. "This… this is good," she said, and for a moment, it seemed like they had won.
But then she paused, her gaze turning hard. "But it is missing something…"
Lin Feng's heart sank.
"A touch of bitterness," she said, pointing to the flower petals garnishing the dish. "Too sweet. Too delicate. A dish of this magnitude requires more depth."
The second judge, Crisp-Drake Taro, didn't even look at Flame Duck's creation before sending it up in flames. "This… monstrosity is an affront to everything my flames stand for!" he shouted. "There is no balance. There is no… finesse! Only fried nonsense!"
Flame Duck, however, didn't flinch. "It's a work of art!" he protested.
"A work of garbage," Taro replied with a flare of his nostrils.
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The Celestial Cucumber's Judgment
The final judge, The Celestial Cucumber, had yet to taste either dish. With a slow, deliberate movement, he plucked a single leaf of basil from his cucumber robe, examining it closely.
"What is the meaning of this?" he asked, his voice echoing across the stage.
Lin Feng stepped forward. "It's the Lotus Blossom Duck, Your Cucumberness. It's meant to represent harmony, balance, and the beauty of nature."
The Celestial Cucumber nodded slowly, then took a bite. The air seemed to still, and even the judges fell silent as he chewed thoughtfully. Then, he let out a long, drawn-out sigh.
"This…" he murmured, placing the plate down carefully. "Is not what I was expecting."
Lin Feng's heart pounded. This was it.
"Your dish has potential," the Celestial Cucumber said, his voice rising. "But it lacks the soul of adventure, the rawness of an untamed dish. You, young chef, are still too cautious."
Lin Feng swallowed. "What must I do?"
The Celestial Cucumber turned to Flame Duck. "You, on the other hand," he said, "are a living embodiment of chaos. You understand flavors. You embrace the unexpected. Your dish might be… wild, but it is alive."
Flame Duck grinned. "I knew it!"
"But," the Celestial Cucumber added, "it is also disastrous."
The judges murmured among themselves.
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The Results
In the end, Lin Feng and Flame Duck didn't win the Heavenly Culinary Carnival—but they certainly made an impression. The judges awarded them Honorable Mentions and a lifetime supply of pickled ingredients that could possibly kill a lesser chef.
As the team left the stage, a loud voice boomed from above.
"Congratulations, contestants! You have passed the first stage of the Heavenly Culinary Trials," it said. "Now, the real journey begins…"
Lin Feng, Flame Duck, and Bai Xue exchanged bewildered glances.
"I think we're in over our heads," Bai Xue said, "but we're committed now."
Flame Duck looked ahead, excited. "I'm bringing deep-fried everything!