My name is Aren Venta Asteria, Grand Commander of Esitia.
I've given this introduction so many times, after all, it had meaning. But now, after today, such a sentence is pointless. Esitia has fallen. I still hear gunshots, people shouting and dying, but it's meaningless. We can no longer win. Our capital, the very place where I'm writing this, my final entry, is burning beneath the bombs that were, and still are, falling.
All I can do now is wait: wait for the rest of my men to die and for the enemy to break in. I know I'll be tortured to death. Whatever they learn from me will be used against my soldiers and allies. That's why, like most of Esitia's higher-ups, I'll take my own life. There's no honor in it, I know, but it will be my last service to my country. They say a gun hurts less than a knife, at least.
To whoever reads this: know that every atrocity committed by the Esitian military was authorized by me. I, the Grand Commander, feel no remorse; our goal demanded it. That goal now lies in pieces. I weep only for my countrymen.
Glory to Esitia.
___
My body feels as if it's floating down a calm river, slowly, gently. Though all I can see is black, I feel at peace, a peace I hadn't known for a very long time. Because of that, my mind is no longer clouded the way it was before my death.
Death?
Yes, I'm supposed to be dead. I took my own life, so why am I alive?
…Am I alive?
Is this the afterlife?
These thoughts swirled as I tried to work out where I was. Even so, I felt no panic. There was no rush, it was safe, warm… peaceful. Everything I'd been starved of in life was here.
But before another thought could form, my body was yanked sideways, abruptly, violently, yet it didn't hurt. The feeling of security melted away as the darkness thinned.
Soon I could perceive my body. I was wearing my military uniform. Is this my soul?
Then it stopped. The unseen force vanished, and I found myself seated at a round table. A teapot and plates of sweets rested on it. The teapot, dotted with red and blue flowers, was beautifully intricate.
Not the time, I scolded myself; across from me was an empty chair.
To my left and right were endless rows of bookshelves, stretching beyond sight.
Where am I now? This is nothing like the void I was in before. It feels less like a dream and more like stone-cold reality.
Maybe the darkness was just a passage to reach this place? I kind of want to go back…
…And isn't this too nice to be my afterlife?
As I pondered, the scent of freshly brewed tea drifted through the air, calming, relaxing.
"I apologize for being late, dear." A light, melodious voice broke the silence.
I snapped my gaze forward and saw her: a woman with long, flowing blonde hair and a Lolita beret. Heterochromia, one red eye, one blue. Her pale skin seemed to glow. A smile played on her lips.
That smile… irritated me. It reminded me of corrupt politicians seeking favor. I saw through it.
I frowned, then masked it with neutrality.
"Am I right in assuming you brought me here?" My tone was inquisitive, and demanding.
She clasped her hands and tilted her head.
"Yup, that's right. I snatched your soul before it reached the afterlife," she said, smile unchanged.
"So this isn't the afterlife?"
"Mmm, not in the way humans imagine it. Your ideas are quite grandiose compared with reality. I've always wondered where they started! Sadly, I don't oversee your world, so I only hear from the souls I occasionally borrow. It's a shame, and-"
She's talkative… I frowned.
She paused.
"Ah, forgive me. I'm verbose; once I start, it's hard to stop. Let's return to the point, shall we?" She poured two cups of tea, passing one to me, then popped a sweet into her mouth.
The fake smile became genuine for an instant.
I sipped. I'd learned not to refuse hospitality in uncertain situations; it can seem insulting.
Strangely, the tea tasted like my favorite leaves. Not important.
"The tea is delicious, but why did you bring me here?" I set the cup down, calm but firm.
She swallowed, covered her mouth delicately, sipped tea, and sighed.
"I thought you'd like it." She considered. "As for why you're here: to give you a gift before your reincarnation."
Reincarnation?
"You're going to reincarnate me?" My voice stayed neutral.
"No, of course not, that's not my department."
"Didn't you say you pulled me from the afterlife?"
"Yes, after 'life'. Life after death." She tossed another sweet into her mouth. "I wanted to tell you earlier, but you seemed unhappy with my rambling."
I could swear her smile became a smirk.
She gasped softly. "Oh my, how rude, I haven't introduced myself!" She cleared her throat. "Call me Curiosity, and you, dear Aren, are in my Library." She spread her arms, smiling wider.
She knew my name? Considering everything, I shouldn't be surprised.
"Oh, and once your soul entered my Library, your life was recorded in a book, the one I read before coming here." She tossed another sweet into her mouth without breaking eye contact.
Awkward.
That explained her absence when I arrived; but if she hadn't known my life beforehand, why choose me?
"Wait, you said you rarely bring people here. If you knew nothing of me, why pick me?"
I took another sip, closing my eyes briefly—opened them to find her leaning forward, face inches from mine, smile unwavering.
Though outwardly composed, I was unsettled by how silently and quickly she moved.
…Awkward.
"If you must know, your soul differs from most. It isn't merely black; it absorbs color. I've never seen one like it." She sat back. "It's so…curious. I simply must know what you'll do next."
Black? I look like me, but she must perceive it otherwise.
And "curious", yes, I caught the pun.
"I'm guessing your 'gift' lets you observe me?" I picked up a sweet. Her expression unchanged, I put it in my mouth.
... Or tried to. There was nothing. She was chewing.
Did she…?
"You're quick to catch on," she said. "But it benefits you too: you'll keep your memories when you otherwise wouldn't." Her eyes dropped; fingers laced beneath her chin.
"Really? I'll keep my past memories?" Relief slipped into my voice, one of my worries since she mentioned reincarnation.
"Why, of course." Her eyes widened; she flinched as if remembering something. "Ah, we're short on time, dear Aren."
She stood, tossed another sweet into her mouth, and offered her right hand.
"To grant the gift we must touch. A handshake is most comfortable for humans, correct?"
Now she's trying to make me comfortable?
It didn't seem like I had much of a choice; I didn't want to forget myself, again either. So...
I shook her hand.
Warmth spread from the contact, flooding my body, then my head. An insatiable curiosity washed over me, then vanished.
A symbol formed on my right hand: a book with two eyes, one black, one white.
"The contract is complete! Wonderful." Curiosity clapped and smirked.
"Contract? I thought it was a gift." Was I tricked? She really is like those politicians…
"It's nearly time for your next life, isn't it, dear?" She ignored my question, picked up a sweet, and walked around the table.
I looked at my hand, it was fading, turning translucent, white specks drifting away. The rest of my body followed.
"What is this?" I asked. It didn't hurt; I felt no different.
Curiosity popped the sweet into my open mouth.
Delicious, though not the point.
"I'll see you later, curious human." She smiled, turned away, and my body vanished completely.
Everything went black again.
___
This time I felt like I was falling, pulled downward at incredible speed.
After several minutes, it stopped.
Light flooded my eyes.
Yet they were heavy, and my body felt small and weak.
Curious, I looked down.
An infant's stomach and arms replaced my own.
What the... Ah, yes. Reincarnation. My head feels so fuzzy I could hardly remember.
Gentle hands lifted me.
"It's a boy!" an unfamiliar voice declared, brimming with excitement.
I was passed to someone else. I looked up.
A woman with kind, loving eyes smiled down at me, radiating affection. Then she spoke:
"My baby boy… Novis."