There's a rule I've discovered about being six years old and massively overpowered:
You should not be left unsupervised.
Ever.
Unfortunately for New York, today was one of those unsupervised days.
I was sitting cross-legged in my oversized room, staring at my hands like they were made of nuclear waffles.
"I wonder what happens if I try using all ten powers at once," I said out loud.
Then I wisely slapped myself. "No. Bad me. That's how you level a city block and get grounded by Nick Fury."
So I decided to be responsible. You know, scientific. Start small.
Experiment One: Energy Absorption
I pointed my hand at the morning sun and focused.
A warm buzz filled my chest. My skin glowed faintly. I felt like I'd just downed five espressos and done a cartwheel through a thunderstorm.
"Okay, that was awesome."
Then I zapped a lamp with a finger.
The lamp exploded.
"Less awesome. Sorry, lamp."
Experiment Two: Enhanced Physique
I tried lifting my bed. I accidentally launched it through the ceiling.
There was a crash, a distant thud, and the butler's polite voice from downstairs:
"Master… was that the bed again?"
"YES," I yelled back. "SCIENCE."
Experiment Three: Telekinesis
I made all the furniture in my room float and orbit me like a miniature solar system.
"Call me... Sofa Bender."
Then I sneezed.
All the furniture slammed into the walls like they owed me money.
"Note to self: No sneezing while using mind powers."
Experiment Four: Elemental Control
"Alright. Time to summon lightning."
I pointed outside dramatically. The sky darkened. Clouds swirled.
A bolt of lightning cracked down—right into Jenkins' golf cart.
From somewhere below:
"MASTER, WHY?!"
I blinked. "Oops."
Experiment Five: Danger Sense
I focused.
Suddenly, I knew Jenkins was coming upstairs to scold me.
So I teleported—by accident—into my closet.
"Okay," I whispered. "Danger Sense is working. Jenkins is mad."
Experiment Six: Adaptive Evolution
I tried holding my breath in the bathtub for five minutes.
Gills sprouted on my neck. My skin turned slightly blue.
"...I am becoming a fish. Cool."
Then I screamed underwater when I saw my reflection.
"NOT COOL."
Experiment Seven: Spatial Storage
I summoned a slice of cake from the pocket dimension.
Then I summoned a chair. And a piano. And a rubber duck.
I sat on the duck, ate cake, and played Beethoven like a rich, six-year-old chaos goblin.
Experiment Eight: Heightened Senses
I heard Jenkins mutter, "This child will give me gray hair by the weekend," from two floors down.
I shouted back, "TOO LATE!"
Experiment Nine: Language Mastery
I opened a random ancient book from the mansion's library.
It was in… Sumerian?
I read it fluently. Out loud.
Suddenly, a glowing eye opened in the air.
"NOPE," I said, and threw the book back into the void.
Experiment Ten: Immortality + Regeneration
I tripped down the stairs.
Snapped my arm.
It healed before I hit the bottom.
I stood up. "Okay. That was horrifying and amazing."
At that moment, the door opened.
Jenkins stood there. Holding a mop. Looking tired. Covered in lightning ash.
I smiled sweetly. "Hi Jenkins."
He stared at me. "Master… you summoned a thunderstorm, vaporized a golf cart, and may have created a wormhole."
"Correction," I said. "I scientifically tested my abilities in a safe-ish environment."
He sighed and looked skyward. "I miss the days when you only threw food at the maids."
I beamed. "Now I throw cars!"