Today, something interesting happened and I got the front-row seat to a real-life sitcom episode.
We have AP History, but our regular teacher is on leave for some medical emergency so the school hired a substitute. Everyone expected a boring, worksheet-dispensing substitute, and the classroom was chaotic.
I wasn't bothered, I was listening to music on my earphones and working on a math assignment that was due today.
Suddenly, the door swings open, and to my surprise, it's Cameron Tucker, Alex's gay uncle-walking in wearing full colonial-era cosplay. Powdered wig, ruffled shirt, waistcoat, breeches, and shiny black shoes. He was clearly going for "George Washington at war" but ended up somewhere between "historical reenactor" and "community theater star."
He was beaming, way too excited for 8:30 AM. Alex's horror-filled face looked like she'd seen a ghost.
"Good morrow!" Cameron called out, clearly trying for humor but missing the mark. The students blinked in confusion. One kid actually recoiled in his seat.
"Well, what is all this strange garb you adorn? Are you trappers from the Canadian provinces? Are you here to sell your beavers?" Cameron continued, oblivious.
Someone whispered behind me, "Who is this guy?" Alex was clearly embarrassed.
"The 64-pence question! I crossed the Delaware during the Revolutionary War! I spent a brutal winter at Valley Forge! Who am I?" Cameron kept going, not caring what anyone thought.
"I-I have no idea. I swear I don't know who this man is," Alex stammered, trying to disappear into her seat. I giggled a little. She visibly flinched when I laughed.
Cam gave her a knowing smile. She glared back.
"I'm George Washington, of course."
He looked around proudly, expecting applause that never came.
"Our syllabus says we're supposed to cover Native Americans on the eve of colonization," Alex said, trying to steer the conversation.
"Yes! Native Americans. Indians. A majestic, peaceful people who lived off the land and cried when they saw litter," Cameron said, clearly winging it.
The class laughed awkwardly. Alex sighed, sensing this was going to be a long hour.
"So, were the Indians friends with the colonists or not?" I asked Cameron, trying to help him with a simple question.
"Ah, yes. I know one Indian who was friends with a construction worker, biker, and traffic cop," Cam joked.
Silence.
Blank stares.
Cam scanned the room, waiting.
"Really? Nothing? Your parents are gonna love that joke," he said, adjusting his wig and continuing undeterred.
As soon as he left the class, I saw Alex breathe a sigh of relief.
"Hey, do you know our new history teacher?" I asked Alex, already knowing the answer but wanting to start a conversation. She flinched.
"N-no, why would you think that? I'm not related to him," she replied quickly. Alex was clearly lying- a kid could have caught that.
"I totally believe you," I said flatly.
"Hmm… by the way, I'm Alex," she introduced herself, trying to change the topic.
"I'm Lucas, and I know your name. We have calculus and biology together," I replied, letting her change the subject to avoid embarrassing her more.
"You know me?" Alex said, surprised someone even noticed her.
"Yes, of course. You're cute and smart," I said. Gamer's Mind was definitely at full throttle-otherwise, I would never have dared call a girl cute to her face. I was actually surprised myself. My old, gamer-less self would have been a stuttering mess right now.
If I had a charisma stat, it would have leveled up by now.
(AN: So kids, that's how I met your mother.)
I asked some random question about history class to keep the conversation going and talked to her until we had to split for our next class. I even got her Instagram. That's how my first conversation with her started. This is my first time trying to woo a girl, and honestly, I think I did pretty well.
[Alex Dunphy POV]
The classroom was buzzing. Everyone had someone to talk to. We were waiting for class to start. There was a new substitute teacher coming for AP History, and I sat in the second row. Right behind me sat that tall, handsome, quiet boy, Lucas. He was reading his book, completely ignoring the chaotic classroom. I kinda-sorta have a crush on him. He's handsome, tall, and reads a lot. He checks every box. How could I not like him?
Anyway, it's not like he'll ever date someone like me. But a girl can dream right? I can only admire him from afar.
Suddenly, the classroom door opened, and I felt a pit open in my stomach the moment Cam walked through in full colonial cosplay.
My AP History class suddenly turned into a stage for Uncle Cam's theatrical disaster. Embarrassment prickled my skin as he joked around. He clearly wasn't meant for this class. The way he glanced toward me, some people must have figured out we know each other.
I didn't want anyone to know he's my weird uncle, especially Lucas.
I breathed a sigh of relief when Cam left the class. I have to ask him to stop teaching the moment school ends today.
Then Lucas spoke to me and asked if I knew Cam. Of course, I did, but I lied. He definitely caught my lie.
I introduced myself, surprised to know he knew my name. We started talking, and I couldn't stop smiling. He's clearly intelligent but still asked me questions, which I was happy to answer.
Today was a good day, despite the 'Cam incident.' I got to talk to my crush. I was dancing inside when he asked for my Insta-if we needed each other's help with homework, of course. I don't mind helping him at all.
I checked out his profile, which was private before. He only had 70 followers, so he's clearly not like the other kids. I checked out his feed-photos with his buddies, family, and some trips he went on. Got some good pics for my collection.
[Back to Lucas]
The rest of the day went by in a blur of classes, half-listening to teachers, and mentally cataloguing XP gains for every little thing I did. I swear, if I got a nickel for every time I got a pop-up…
[Routine Quest: Pay Attention in Class]
I'd have enough XP to retire by now. But hey, every little bit counts.
Lunch was the usual chaos-cafeteria food that could probably be classified as a biohazard. I was sitting with Leonard and Josh. Josh is another one of my good friends. Black guy, 5'11", robust build. He's a fun guy to be around, smart, and very loyal. If I asked him to bury a body, he'd ask, "Should I bring a shovel with me?" We're tight like that. He helps with basketball drills sometimes. So he is the only one that know how good am I.
Leonard's not close like that, but he's still a good friend. Debbie wasn't with us-she was sitting with another group. These three are the ones I'm really close with. There are other people I know, but I wouldn't cry if they died.
Leonard was rambling about some new anime, and I pretended to care while secretly checking out Alex from across the room. She was sitting alone, reading something on her phone very intensely, looking cute. I caught her glancing my way once or twice. Or maybe I imagined it. Gamer's Mind or not, I'm still a teenage guy with a crush.
Sue me.
"Hey Leonard, I want your advice on something. Come to my house this weekend. I have to show you something," I called, while he was glancing at a blonde tomboy girl he had a crush on.
He agreed but asked what it was. I said it was a surprise. Then Josh started imitating Leonard's lovesick face when he was sneakily looking at that girl.
We all had a good laugh about it.
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A/N: [Alkole, TheFuzzySamurai, tyler saylor, Ceyhun Cagirici, IamUgoH, Ior, RrJ, Juan Correa Sandoval, Sonny Eugene, Teklan, Reed Pace, CasualReader]
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