There was nothing but a hollow feeling—or perhaps fallowness—passing through my body while I lay somewhere soft, definitely soft, like a cushion or maybe on a bed.
At least it was something that made me feel like I hadn't been splattered like a crushed tomato on a rock, lying in a pool of my own blood.
Slowly, my eyes opened—naturally, like the protagonist of an overused reincarnation story plot, beginning with that cliché first line found in at least each one of them: 'Where am I?'
I did the same. Trying to be unique might make me look like a simp for fetishists.
Fetishists feel a rush of adrenaline after seeing a character like me—yeah, the one who adapts to the world in a strangely unique way.
But first, focus on the cliché intro plot.
Above me was the ceiling. Because, of course, it was.
What followed were all the predictable sensations every reader has probably seen a thousand times—until it stops being nostalgia and starts being noise.
Simply put, they would be frustrated.
Just like I was, remembering all the events from last night.
If I strip the humor from my life for a moment, last night was something I simply cannot believe—not easily—especially after what I saw.
It was a messed-up dream of three worlds colliding. Something any anime fan would love to watch—but hate to experience.
I shifted. No pain. My body felt intact as I sat up slowly. The air greeted me—soft, salty, laced with the ocean's breath.
'!'
Then it hit me.
'Wait.' As soon as the realization hit me—like a delayed orgasm of awareness—I leapt out of the bed and sprinted toward the nearby door.
Of course, it didn't open.
Its lock seemed... unique.
I glanced toward the small glass window. And like a pervert peeking through a crack into the girls' bathroom, I pressed my face against it.
"Oh god...."
And I moaned... moaned due to being fucked by my own life.
What I saw was an endless, vast ocean, with waves reaching the height of the window—which clearly seemed to be several stories high—making me realize that… since I hadn't experienced death before, life was giving me another discount.
[Welcome, I am—]
'I know, a system. Just piss off.'
The moment a mechanical voice rang in my ears, I shut it off instantly.
Slowly running my fingers through my hair, I took a seat on the bed, trying to assess my situation—while definitely not planning to appear desperate just because I thought I had gotten some kind of cheat.
Knowing myself and how I joke around, this so-called cheat was probably just going to be some minor addition—like a red nose for a clown.
It might enhance the look, but all it would do is make the story more absurd and funny for others, while for me, it's just another bamboo in my messed-up life.
No need for that kind of crap.
[Fine then, I won't give you the system activation bonus, which was an OP ability and a beautiful assistant.]
In my line of sight, I saw a golden window, just like the one from last night, opening in mid-air.
It appeared to gradually drift to the side, almost as if attempting to flee after my words, mumbling something incomprehensible.
My ears twitched, perking up as I sensed something interesting, and my hands reflexively grabbed the edge of the screen.
So, at least something was unique here.
Unlike other stories I remembered, I was able to grab this 'cheat'—like pulling a needed paper out of the air.
'Stop.' I definitely had to assert myself before leaving it and folding my hands as I seemed to reconsider its offer.
[Host finally seems to be interested—]
'Shut up and just give me the reward already.'
Having a rough idea that the first reward might be essential for survival, I wasn't about to waste time.
I still needed to figure out where I was.
Instead of letting this system drag me into the usual cycle of tasks and quests to level up, I figured I'd test its authenticity first—by milking the free rewards.
Yes, technically, I was about to scam this thing—I did a lot in call centers in my old world.
Keep it busy by asking for a taste of the rewards, more rewards, without asking anything about its workings—until it gets too frustrated to function properly.
And begs me to once look at its features like leftover virgins.
A secret tip if you ever get a system.
As a virgin, I knew how it felt.
[Until you hear the features, you cannot claim the reward.]
'.....'
Ah. A smart system.
Fine. No problem.
'Show me what you got.'
I figured it was best to first see how strong this cheat really was, especially after what I witnessed last night.
This world was far too dangerous.
I really wanted something similar to a 24-hour death and revival deal, like the supervillain in the Idiocrat's book at the least.
DING!
Yes, that usual time bomb sound.
[ ( Grind-to-Cash System's Features ):
— Touch-Based Copying: Physical contact allows copying of artifacts, weapons, and items into the Mirror Shop.
— Skill Observation Copying: Watching a skill from start to finish unlocks it in the system shop.
— Item/Skill Appraisal: New items or skills can be appraised before being added, revealing properties, rarity, or hidden traits.
— Pricing System: Skills and items are auto-priced based on the target's native value for the item or skill in gold coins.
— Copy Integrity: Copies are exact replicas that retain the original properties; however, items that have been physically touched vanish permanently before being added to the shop.
— Cash Shop: Earn Gold Coins By Grinding....
----
'...Grinding what, by the way?' I muttered, just as the system flashed a screen filled with enticing features.
Honestly, it looked like what you'd expect from a cheat—overpowered perks designed to boost my confidence and power.
For a moment, I felt justified. Like, yeah, I did get something worthwhile.
But then I paused.
The system's name... and this so-called grinding—it made me think I'd need to work hard, maybe collect XP or fight monsters.
Yet, looking at the listed functions, there didn't seem to be any actual effort involved.
I just needed to watch someone's skill and—bam—it could be added to the mirror shop for me to buy.
No grinding in the traditional sense.
So what the hell was this grinding about?
[ Oh, "grind" here is for women. ]
'Sorry?'
[ Um, to earn gold coins, you need to grind women... ]