Too messy?
Then screw the mission.
Nara Kazuki had had enough. Following leads step by step was getting them nowhere. This entire assignment reeked of something off.
The client was evasive. The clues were conveniently destroyed.
What was this?
It was like hiring a detective to investigate a missing child—after calling a cleaning service to deep-clean the whole house.
Every trace scrubbed away. By the time the detective arrived, the crime scene looked like a model home. What was left to investigate?
Even Conan Edogawa would need the culprit to mail him clues in envelopes to make progress here.
"What do you want to do, then?" Fox asked, a trace of amusement in his voice.
Kazuki glanced at his dubious captain. He had a sneaking suspicion the man had already figured something out, but was deliberately keeping quiet—testing him and Kakashi.
It made sense. This was their first mission as ANBU. Of course they'd be evaluated.
Not that their captain would outright sabotage the mission, but watching their process? That was definitely on the table.
"I've got a plan," Kazuki said, and explained it.
Fox had no objections. "Your call."
And so the three of them returned to the Fire Country capital.
Just as Kakashi was about to infiltrate the Daimyō's mansion to dig up intel, they spotted a woman in a cloak, nervously sneaking around, her face hidden.
Even with the disguise, the three recognized her instantly—the so-called missing mistress.
Kazuki's lips twitched.
What the hell was the Daimyō thinking?
Unsurprisingly, the woman was immediately detained.
"Are you shinobi from Konoha?" she asked, clearly panicked at the sight of masked ANBU.
Fox stepped forward. "Yes. You must be Ozawa Sora, the woman we were sent to locate."
Kakashi didn't speak, but Kazuki could tell from the way his shoulders shook that the bastard was trying not to laugh.
Kazuki sighed. Even the name was stupidly dramatic. He didn't bother mocking it. He was too busy reconstructing the full picture.
"I want to report something! I want to report that the Daimyō plans to assassinate the Hokage!" Ozawa Sora shouted, trembling.
The three shinobi exchanged glances.
A shaking woman. Three masked men. A rainy night. A room in a cheap inn.
This scene should've been an adult-only drama. Instead, it was just... weird.
"What do you make of this?" Fox asked, flipping through the documents the woman shoved at them.
"She's seriously trying to deliver intel," Kakashi finally muttered. "Unbelievable."
"Ridiculous," Kazuki said flatly.
He wanted to storm the Daimyō's manor and stab the idiot where he stood.
Because what kind of moron actually tries to leak intel through their mistress?
A mistress who just happens to stumble upon a secret plot in the Daimyō's private study while he's away?
In Sora's own words:
After pleasuring the Daimyō, she wandered into his study (undetected), discovered proof that the Daimyō wanted to assassinate the Fourth Hokage, and attempted to flee Konoha with it.
Then ANBU—or some unknown ninja—showed up to kill her. She escaped through the window and had been hiding ever since.
And the plan? The supposed goal?
"Overthrow the Hokage's tyranny. Establish Daimyō Securities Inc."
Insanity.
Actual insanity.
Kazuki was starting to wonder if the Daimyō had some kind of Uchiha lineage—too much emotional trauma in that one brain.
The plan she outlined in the document was absurd.
The Daimyō wanted to spend massive amounts of ryo to stockpile explosive tags. Then smuggle them into Konoha and detonate the village.
After that, he'd deploy his elite personal ninja—along with mercenaries on high bounties—to take Minato Namikaze's head.
That would give him direct control over the Hokage's title.
Kazuki thought back to Kazuma from the Twelve Guardian Ninja arc—the guy who also wanted to assassinate the Hokage, just with different means.
So maybe this whole farce was orchestrated by the Daimyō to clear suspicion.
"Let's just submit the report. We found the woman. Our job's done," Fox said, brushing off the drama.
The longer you lived, the more you realized: knowing too much was a curse.
Let the elders and Hokage worry about the politics. ANBU just completed assignments.
Didn't matter how rotten the mission was—so long as it was finished.
"You're not going to arrest the Daimyō? Or kill him?" Ozawa Sora's voice shook. Her eyes were red.
None of them answered.
ANBU had no jurisdiction over the Daimyō. Even the Hokage technically ranked below him on the official ledger. Not that most Hokage actually cared.
The Daimyō still funded Konoha's budget every year. And sometimes he used that power to mess with the Hokage out of spite.
"Why?! Why don't you just kill him?!" she screamed.
Fox formed a quick series of hand seals. Sora's eyes glazed over.
She was delivered to the Daimyō.
But the documents were not.
According to Fox's official report, she had no intel on her.
The Daimyō believed it. He smiled, waved them off, and then gave the order—
—Sora was executed on the spot.
He even invited the three of them to stay for dinner. When they refused, he simply smiled and sent them off politely.
When they reached the city gates, Kazuki saw it.
Her head was mounted beside the wall.
It swayed slightly in the breeze... until it slowly turned, as if looking directly at them.
That night, the three sat around a fire, eating their rations.
Kakashi was quiet. He sat beside Kazuki, chewing in silence.
"Red Stag, do you think..." he began, hesitant.
"A broken home. A desperate woman. An ant challenging a mountain," Kazuki cut him off, reciting flatly.
Then he pulled his mask back down and lay back against the tree branch.
Because clearly, the Daimyō had known her true motives long ago—and simply let her dig her own grave.