When Tanner leans in and kisses him again, Jess knows there's no going back.
Everything happens so fast that he's unable to process it. His thoughts are a blur, and he can feel the rush of Tanner's blood running wild beneath him.
Tanner's breath is already heavy, each exhale coming in short, desperate bursts. His hands are moving restlessly, as if he can't control the need surging through him.
Jess needs him just as much, but he knows he can't let himself drown in it. Not when Tanner doesn't know the truth. Not when this could all end in disgust, rejection_ and death.
He freezes, his breath hitching as Tanner's hand slides under the dress, fingers ghosting along his thigh.
His heart slams in his chest, panic rising like fire in his throat. He knows this can't be stopped now, and that thought terrifies him.
"I... I feel sick... I can't do..." he murmurs, the words slipping out unbidden, barely audible. Hopping they save him.
But Tanner's arms tighten around him_ desperate, trembling. "I'll be gentle, I promise..." he whispers, voice fraying at the edges. "I promise I'll make this lean in your favor... just... please."
Jess is unable to speak after that.
He wanted this to happen, wanted Tanner to feel disgusted with himself after realizing he had touched and kissed a man this much.
But right now, Jess isn't sure what he wants. His heart drums inside his chest, barely held together. He lets Tanner do whatever he wants, letting the weight of the moment wash over him.
The bond between them hums stronger, an undercurrent of urgency. Jess's wolf is desperate for Tanner, and Jess struggles to shush it, to fight the undeniable need.
He closes his eyes, bracing for what's to come. When Tanner's hand moves further, Jess panics.
"I'm not a girl," he blurts out in a panic, his breath catching.
Tanner barely hears him, consumed by the longing and desperation inside him.
He unzips Jess's dress and pulls it off. The fake breasts fall with the fabric, exposing a smooth, flat chest.
Tanner stares. His mind blanks. For a long second, he doesn't move, doesn't breathe.
Then, slowly, his eyes travel downward. Past Jess's milky skin…
And stop.
Right at the briefs.
Everything inside him lurches.
Jess's eyes snap shut, his mind racing. This is it. His heart beats wildly in his chest, terror gripping him.
He feels Tanner's hand graze over his crotch_ light, unsure, like he's hoping it's not real.
Jess shivers, his body betraying him with a surge of heat he doesn't want to admit.
Tanner yanks his hand back like he's been burned. His eyes widen, darting to Jess's flat chest, the briefs, confirmation he doesn't want.
He stumbles back from the bed, nearly falling. "You're not a girl?" he gasps, voice cracking.
His breath is ragged, his legs barely hold him up. His mind spins, horror crawling up his spine like ice.
Jess wants to laugh, wants to strip everything off and show Tanner, show him everything... That_ yes! I'm not a girl! Look! See? You just begged a man to let you take him!
But he can't. Tanner's horror stabs through him, and it aches in a way Jess doesn't want to admit.
Why does it feel so bad for Tanner to touch him?
His body craves it. His wolf craves it, claws at him, but Jess knows he can never have that. Not from Tanner.
"F*ck! F*ck! Shit! No! No!…!" Tanner curses, fidgeting his eyes, shaking his head. "No. No... this can't be real."
He turns and storms out of the room, his movements reckless, the fury and confusion making his mind foggy.
In the living room, he punches the wall until it cracks, breath coming in ragged gasps.
His body is burning with something he can't control, a heat that twists in his gut. He can't breathe, can't think.
But regardless of all the confusion, anger, frustration and everything, all he sees in his mind is Jess's bare, smooth body.
And instead of disgust, instead of repulsion, all he feels is a deep, gnawing need.
His wolf is howling at him, clawing inside his chest, urging him to act. Tanner shoves it down, but it surges again, demanding attention.
Jess's scent invades his senses, filling his head with thoughts of him, of what he could have.
He throws things in frustration, the TV crashing to the floor. But none of it makes the image of Jess's bare body go away. The image makes him crave it more.
He goes for the door, but freezes, unable to move. Everything in him fights the thought of walking away. He can't step away.
The need is uncontrollable. He wants him. He needs him.
"We need him," his wolf groans, a dark hunger in its voice.
"No!" Tanner yells, slamming his fist into the wall again. "I can nev... Never touch a ma..." He stops, his breath halting as he remembers the undeniable truth. He already did.
In a daze, he moves, not knowing where he's going, but only knowing he can't leave. He stumbles to another room, enters the bathroom, and turns on the water, the coldness doing nothing to quell the heat inside him.
The pressure builds, stronger with each passing second, until it's unbearable.
Unconsciously, Tanner drags himself back to Jess's room, unable to fight the pull anymore.