What?
Well….. it gets ugly.
…Never something doesn't. But in the end, it's just that some situations some moments can twist people. Twist them into becoming mad. Into monsters. Into cowards. Into survivors.
Ahh. Never mind that.
People start looking for excuses. Reasons. Someone or something to blame. Makes it easier to live with themselves. To forget the guilt.
But what does that have to do with this?
...Nothing. And everything.
Sometimes, things just happen.
....
It was getting too long. Too quiet. Too still.
Mei Lian paced slowly inside the abandoned house, barefoot on cracked floorboards, waiting for Aman to come back and pick her up. The house moaned occasionally in the wind, like it had a voice, like it remembered lives that once filled it.
She was just twelve. But looking at the shattered windows and the dust in the corners, she told herself, "I can be stronger."
Then she saw something under the bed.
She knelt, crawled under, and pulled it out a dirty stuffed animal. A bunny, missing one ear, its button eyes scratched.
She stared at it.
"Sigh….. Well, you're not gonna abandon me too, right? Mr. Bunny?"
She hugged it tightly.
"..…Were you abandoned too? Yeah… Let's be friends. I got abandoned too, you know… But… Aman won't leave me, right? He wouldn't…"
Her voice cracked.
Was she trying to cope?
Maybe.
She didn't talk much. Mei Lian had learned silence young. Trauma does that it sinks its claws into your voice first.
But she was optimistic now.
No way Aman would leave her. He brought her all the way here. Took care of her. Fed her. Gave her shoes.
No way.
But…
What if he was in trouble?
She frowned.
But Aman told her to wait. "Don't go anywhere," he'd said. "I'll come back."
If she left and he returned, and she wasn't there
Would he think she abandoned him?
Would he be angry?
Would he…... leave her behind?
Mei Lian clutched the bunny tighter.
"Hmmm..…"
That was Mei Lian's mind spiraling. Building stories inside stories. While somewhere far off.
---
Aman screamed.
His body convulsed as the red hot metal rod touched his skin again, searing into his side. The pain jolted through his bones like fire made of nails.
He hung from the rafters, arms bound above his head, feet barely touching the ground. Stripped. Bruised. Bloodied.
Another blow to the ribs.
Another strike to the jaw.
"Aaaaaaargh!"
Carter stood nearby, arms folded, watching without flinching.
"Well? Just say it," he said casually. "You're a Japanese spy, aren't you? And that Chinese girl… what, bait? Camouflage? Funny, really. Japs hate the Chinese but here you are, dragging one around like a pet."
Aman gasped through clenched teeth. "H.. how… how could I be one of them…? My mother… she"
Carter interrupted with mocking disdain.
"Oh, here we go again. 'How could I work with them, my mother was raped and killed by the Japs.' Boo hoo. You think I care?" He leaned in. "You're already doing better than most. If we were the Japs, you'd be dead. Their torture? It doesn't stop. Ever."
The other soldiers laughed darkly.
Hours passed.
More blows.
More fire.
More questions that led nowhere.
Then the waterboarding began.
Aman gasped and choked as the soaked cloth covered his face, every breath becoming a desperate fight against drowning. He convulsed. Cried. Gurgled.
Eventually, he broke.
"Fine! FINE! I was the spy! Okay!? That girl....she was just for cover! I used her! Please.....stop..just. . stop…!"
His voice cracked. His body shook. He sobbed uncontrollably.
Carter smiled, satisfied.
He gestured for the soldiers to raise Aman again, arms stretched high into a stress position that forced pressure on his joints. Every twitch, every tremor now brought pain.
Carter approached with a knife in hand. Calm. Cold.
"See? That wasn't so hard."
Without warning, he drove the knife into Aman's left eye.
Aman's shriek was inhuman.
Blood poured down his face as blinding, burning darkness swallowed half his world. His body bucked, helpless in the ropes.
"FUCK… I'm gonna die… oh God…"
His thoughts weren't noble. They weren't heroic. He wanted to live. Desperately. Like a dog beaten into submission.
Carter admired the damage. But just as he turned to leave.
Boom.
An explosion rocked the earth.
Carter stumbled.
Another one closer this time.
The Japanese had started the attack. Early.
He glanced at his pocket watch. "4 a.m.… Goddamn it."
He cursed and barked orders.
Outside, chaos erupted.
Before he left the tent, Carter turned and muttered, "This is your fault."
He lunged forward and stabbed Aman in the chest but the blast knocked him off balance. The blade missed anything vital, sticking into Aman's ribs like a crude flag of pain.
Carter didn't check if he was dead. He didn't care.
He walked out, shouting orders. "All the unit get in position! Gave me intel where's the Japs came from!"
Aman hung there bleeding, blind in one eye, ribs shattered, throat hoarse.
"It… hurts…"
That's all he could say.
Over and over.
Then: darkness.
...
Mei Lian flinched, hands over her ears as the explosions reached the abandoned house.
Her heart thudded.
Aman hadn't come back.
Had he abandoned her?
Did he run? Was she left again?
"Ihhhhhh..…" she whimpered, panic rising.
She peeked through the window.
Japanese soldiers.
Marching. Entering the area.
She gasped, ducked under the bed, holding Mr. Bunny like a lifeline. Her body trembled. She wanted to cry but stayed quiet. She always stayed quiet.
Boots on floorboards. Voices in a language she didn't understand. They were searching.
One soldier stopped near the bed.
She held her breath.
He began to crouch.
"Oi! Hiro!"
A shout from outside.
The soldier hesitated. Then left.
Mei Lian didn't move. Couldn't. Her mind flooded with guilt.
If I hadn't gotten pushed...… If I didn't hit the cabinet that day… maybe Mama would've gotten out in time. Maybe she'd be alive. Maybe we'd be far away by now.
I'm always a burden.
To Mama.
To Aman.
Tears welled up but she didn't cry.
She couldn't.
Outside, gunfire. More shouting. The soldiers were gone.
She waited. Minutes passed.
Then, hugging her bunny and gathering a few small items, she crawled out from under the bed.
The house was empty.
Aman didn't come.
But maybe…
Maybe he was at the command post.
Maybe he needed help.
She'd go. She'd find him.
Even if she was scared. Even if it meant running toward the sound of guns.
Because that's what people did for the ones who didn't abandon her.