The rain had slowed to a soft drizzle by the time we pulled apart, breathless and wide-eyed.
For a moment, we just stared at each other, both realizing at the same time that everything had just shifted -permanently.
There was no going back now.
James let out a low breath, running a hand through his already-damp hair. His other hand still wrapped around my waist.
"Shit," he muttered, half to himself.
I blinked up at him, heart thudding so loudly I was sure he could hear it.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, even though I wasn't entirely sure who I was apologizing to-Jace? Myself? James?
James shook his head, his jaw tightening and made a mischievous grin.
"Don't be," he said roughly.
"But you need to figure out what you want, Vee. You can't have both."
His words sliced through the heavy air between us, making my stomach twist painfully and making me annoyed too. I felt like he had destroyed a beautiful moment.
He was right.
This wasn't fair to anyone.
Especially not Jace.
Especially not James.
"I know," I said, voice barely audible over the pattering rain.
James watched me for a long moment and then he stood up, pulling his hood over his head.
He didn't touch me.
He didn't say anything else.
He just gave me one last, lingering look and then he walked away, disappearing into the misty campus like a ghost.
I sat there, lips still tingling, heart pounding. Our first kiss, something I'd imagined a thousand different ways, and he just... walked away. No words. No explanation. Just that look.
The weight of what happened crushed down on me the second he was gone.
What the hell was I doing?
I had a boyfriend, a good, sweet boyfriend who had done nothing but care for me.
And here I was, sneaking kisses with another guy like some reckless, heartless girl in a soap opera.
I hated myself for it.
But God help me, I hated how alive James made me feel even more. I hated how i wanted to kiss him again and again.
The next few days blurred together in a haze of guilt and confusion.
I avoided both James and Jace as much as I could, throwing myself into classes and homework, hoping that if I stayed busy enough, the guilt would dull.
It didn't.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw James's face inches from mine,thinking about the kiss and what if something more happened.
Every time my phone buzzed, my heart leapt in my chest, even when it was just a reminder about a class assignment.
Meanwhile, Jace stayed radio silent.
Not a text, not a call, not even a glance across campus.
I knew I should be the one to reach out.
I owed him at least that much.
But every time I tried to pick up my phone, my hands froze.
What would I even say?
"Hey, sorry I lied to you and kissed someone else behind your back?"
Yeah.
Not exactly an easy text to send.
It all came to a head the following Friday night.
Our mutual friend, Mia, was throwing a small party at her apartment to celebrate finishing midterms,nothing big, just close friends, drinks, bad karaoke.
I almost didn't go.
I almost locked myself in my room and pretended the world didn't exist.
But something inside me,maybe guilt, maybe defiance pushed me to show up.
Maybe I owed it to Jace.
Maybe I owed it to myself.
I arrived late, hoping to slip in unnoticed.
No such luck.
The moment I stepped inside, I spotted Jace across the room and he saw me too.
His face was unreadable, but he didn't look away.
He just kept talking to the girl next to him,a pretty babe I recognized from our chemistry class.
I felt a pang of something sharp and ugly twist in my chest.
Jealousy?
No.
I didn't get to feel that way anymore.
I had no right.
I made my way to the kitchen, grabbing a drink I didn't even want, trying to blend into the background while stealing glances with jace.
It didn't work.
Because a few minutes later, James walked in.
And just like that, the air shifted.
He hadn't seen me yet, talking and laughing with a few of his soccer buddies.
But I saw him.
I felt him.
The magnetic pull between us was undeniable, even across a crowded room.
And the worst part?
I didn't even want to fight it.
I was still staring — stupidly, shamelessly — when someone tapped my shoulder.
I jumped, almost spilling my drink.
It was Mia, grinning mischievously.
"Truth or Dare?" she asked, holding up the dreaded empty bottle.
Oh, God.
"No way," I laughed weakly, backing up.
"Come on!" she pouted.
"It's tradition!"
Before I could protest further, I was being dragged into the circle forming in the living room.
Jace was there.
James was there.
I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.
Mia spun the bottle with a dramatic flourish, and it landed of course on me.
I swallowed hard as everyone whooped and cheered.
"Truth or dare, Vee?" Mia asked, eyes twinkling wickedly.
I hesitated.
Dare was safer.
With a dare, you could do something stupid and move on.
But with truth?
The wrong question could tear everything apart.
"Dare," I said finally, heart racing.
Mia smirked.
"I dare you to kiss the guy you find most attractive in this room."
The world tilted.
Laughter exploded around me.
Someone whistled.
Someone else clapped.
I froze, my cheeks flaming.
Mia leaned in, lowering her voice just enough for only me to hear:
"Time to stop lying to yourself, babe."
I looked around the room, pulse thundering in my ears.
Jace was watching me,guarded and wary.
James... James was watching me too-quiet, still, waiting.
My entire body trembled.
This was it.
The moment everything changed.
And just when I thought I couldn't move, couldn't breathe;
I stood up.
My legs felt like jelly as I crossed the short distance.
I stopped in front of _