My Subordinates Are So Competent, It's Driving Me Crazy (5)
A once-in-a-lifetime crisis… or so I thought—the whole horse situation got resolved way more easily than expected.
After exchanging a few messages with someone, Edgar got rid of the horse and arranged for a carriage instead.
Then he came over to me and, with utmost politeness, carefully asked for my understanding… Honestly, I had no idea why he was being so deferential.
I mean, I was totally fine with it.
Anyway, after receiving Edgar's repeated apologies, I got into the carriage. We were now leaving the fortress and heading toward the city.
Naturally, the roads were completely unpaved, so every time the carriage jolted, my rear took the brunt of it… but hey, it's still better than riding that horse.
Besides, even if I wanted to complain, I couldn't. Edgar was sitting right in front of me.
He'd said he had some things to explain, and now he was calmly flipping through documents, reading that tiny print in this violently shaking carriage.
Seriously, the man's capable beyond belief.
"The reason the monsters are targeting the city is simple. There's food. They used to go after small villages that couldn't defend themselves, but those are mostly gone now. The city's all that's left—it's only natural they'd head there."
"By that logic, wouldn't the Demon Lord's castle be a target too? It's about the size of a small city."
"Well, the Demon Lord resides in the castle. And so do the Legion Commanders."
"Ah."
"In contrast, the city's only filled with weaker prey. Think about it—between a castle crawling with incomprehensibly powerful beings, and a city that might be conquerable with sheer numbers, which would you pick if you had to choose?"
Monsters don't have reason. They operate purely on instinct.
And their instincts are sharp enough that they have to be able to sense the aura emanating from the Demon Lord's castle. Even if they couldn't identify it precisely, they'd at least recognize the danger.
They may lack reason, but that doesn't mean they're emotionless.
So as long as they can still feel fear, it's only natural they'd avoid the Demon Lord's castle.
"Also, cities have a lot of movement—people coming and going for trade and other reasons. The monsters could just camp near the roads and ambush them. Easy meals."
"But now that those travelers are gone, they're targeting the city itself?"
"Yes, exactly—"
BOOM!
KRAAAAAH!!
The carriage rocked violently. My body, as light as a sheet of paper, lurched with it.
Edgar caught me instinctively as I nearly flew forward. After quickly checking that I wasn't hurt, he gently sat me back down and continued speaking as if nothing had happened.
"...As I was saying, that's why we're preparing defenses inside the fortress—"
–Kill them!!
"We plan to make sure—"
–Don't let them get anywhere near the carriage!
"...it's well protected."
–You bastard monster freaks!! Die! DIEEEEE!!
...Honestly, it's impressive, in more ways than one.
We'd already faced several monster attacks on the way here. I guess that's why even I, who panicked at first, could now sit here calmly.
But Edgar's composure went far beyond that of a normal person.
Unable to hold back, I slid the window open and glanced outside as I casually asked,
"Edgar, aren't you going to help?"
"The legionnaires can handle it. We are the Zero Legion, after all. No need to worry."
"Oh… well…"
He had a point. The legionnaires were dispatching the monsters like professionals.
None of them looked seriously injured, and even the weaker ones seemed capable of taking down at least one monster on their own…
But wait… Why is Ben over there?
"DIIIIIE! DIEEEEEEEE!!"
SPLAT!
Blood sprayed. I instinctively leaned back and slammed the window shut.
I thought I'd moved fast enough, but apparently not. A warm, sticky liquid had splattered on my cheek.
Well, one thing was clear—Ben was not in his right mind.
As I wiped it off with the back of my hand, Edgar suddenly gasped and paled. In a fluster, he pulled out a handkerchief and carefully cleaned my face, then said firmly,
"You should probably only open the window after the fighting's over."
"Ah, right. Got it. But… Ben…"
The image of Ben from just moments ago flashed through my mind again.
Swinging his doctor's bag like a bludgeon, smashing a monster's skull in while screaming like a berserker.
Honestly, it was enough to make you question his profession.
Wasn't he supposed to be our attending physician? Where did he go, and who's this battle-mad maniac that replaced him?
"Ah, Ben tends to lose control once he gets a taste for fighting. Don't be fooled by appearances—he is a demon, after all."
Right, he's a demon. I forgot for a second.
A combat-proficient attending physician… Honestly, with just him around, we'd probably be fine most of the time.
But if he really loses control like that, then yeah—definitely not someone I want to be alone with.
As I recalled all the times we'd been alone during treatment, a delayed wave of shock washed over me, and I quietly cradled my stomach.
'Ugh, my guts hurt.'
It really feels like the more competent people I have around me, the shorter my lifespan becomes.
–Hyaahahahaha!! DIE, YOU BASTARDS!!
"…Haa."
Listening to Ben's maniacal voice from outside, I leaned my head weakly against the wall of the carriage.
Ugh, monsters or whatever, I just hope this ends soon.
"Short break!"
"Break!"
Edgar's booming voice pushed its way through the door crack into the carriage, followed by the legionnaires echoing his call.
Stretching my body after sitting stiffly for so long, I silently thought to myself:
'Yeah… That kind of commanding presence definitely suits a vice-commander.'
He'd been so busy fussing over me and handling errands that I'd started confusing him for an attendant.
In the Empire, this kind of role would fall to a deputy commander, but in the Demon Lord's castle, the legion commanders' adjutants usually double as their deputies. So, Edgar was actually doing his job pretty well.
Tired of being cooped up in the carriage all day—and desperate to give my sore butt a break and get some fresh air—I stepped outside.
The moment I opened the door and set foot on the ground, I was greeted by a herd of black horses radiating a dark aura. Each one looked like it could crush a man on its own, and now they were all gathered in one spot, tearing into something.
The mood was oddly calm—peaceful, even. That made me relax a little.
'Guess they're still just horses after all. Looks like they're grazing… huh?'
...Wait, something felt off.
Is that… a monster corpse?
Yep. Definitely a monster corpse. Which means those things were peacefully gathered together, feasting on a dead monster—
The realization hit me like a slap. I instinctively took a step back.
I only came to my senses when I felt the cold, hard surface of the carriage door against my back.
"Demon-nim."
"..."
"Demon-nim?"
"..."
Damn it, those things are terrifying! And there are so many of them.
I mean, of course there are—one for each legionnaire. Still… it's scary. What if they suddenly go berserk or something?
Maybe it's because of their monstrous appearance, so different from anything you'd find in the human world. My eyes kept drifting toward them, even though I didn't want to look.
It's not like I'm interested. Well, maybe I am, in a way—enough to keep an eye on them, at least. That counts as a kind of "interest," right?
As I blankly stared at the herd of horses, a water bottle suddenly appeared in front of my face.
"Demon-nim, would you like some water?"
Despite the abruptness, the gesture was surprisingly polite.
Rather than offering it, it felt more like he was presenting it. The one holding it, of course, was my ever-loyal adjutant, Edgar.
I'd kind of expected it.
'How many people in the world would treat me this devotedly?'
Even though I was just a human, he was fulfilling his duties without hesitation.
"Thank you."
A thank-you for the water, yes—but also a thank-you for treating me with such respect, despite me being human.
Edgar, having no way of knowing all that, just smiled lightly as if it were no big deal.
Then he glanced at the horse herd I'd been staring at, then at me, and after hesitating as if bracing himself, he carefully spoke up.
"Just a moment ago… it looked like you were watching the horses…"
"Ah, yes."
Damn it. I'd finally stopped thinking about them.
Yeah, I was watching them. In case they suddenly went on a rampage or something.
Sure, a demon could probably survive getting trampled by one of those things, but I'm just a fragile human. If I got hit by something like that, my body and soul would part ways on the spot. Of course I was being cautious.
Still… for him to notice that—I must be under some serious surveillance. Did the Demon Lord order him to keep an eye on me?
'No, wait. Is this because of that resignation letter thing?'
Maybe he thinks I'm gonna run off?
It's a plausible guess.
As I trembled at the thought of the Demon Lord's obsessive nature, Edgar, after a moment of hesitation, finally opened his mouth. What came out, though, completely blindsided me.
"By any chance… do you want to ride one?"
"…What?"
"I thought perhaps you had some lingering attachment…"
We were having a perfectly normal conversation, and then this?
He thought I wanted to ride those horrifying beasts?
My mouth opened and closed in pure disbelief before I hastily waved my hands.
But even that seemed to give him the wrong idea.
"No, absolutely not! That's not it…"
"I'm sorry. I know it's frustrating, but could you please continue using the carriage, at least until your physical condition improves? After that, you can ride to your heart's content. I beg you."
"..."
I was about to deny him again, but then I stopped.
Wait a minute—doesn't that mean I'll never get to ride at all?
My condition isn't something temporary—it's congenital. There's no chance I'll ever get any better.
So really, was there even a point in arguing?
"…Understood."
There was no need to show weakness in front of a demon, and this way we could avoid an awkward back-and-forth.
My throat felt parched, probably from the sudden anxiety of almost being forced to ride one of those beasts.
Since I was still holding the water bottle, I brought it to my lips, watching my surroundings carefully…
"Rookie! You're getting pretty good at riding now, huh?"
"No, not at all! I still have much to learn!"
"Modesty, huh? Don't worry—you're doing just fine. Now we just have the last step left, right?"
"Right. The most important part. You could call it a special tradition unique to our legion. Well, not that it's been around all that long."
A special tradition? In the 0th Legion?
I knew it was rude, but I couldn't help leaning in to listen. This was the first I'd ever heard of such a thing.
The last step, they said. What could that be?
And more importantly, the idea that the 0th Legion even had a "tradition" was suspicious to begin with.
The 0th Legion was formed because of me. Meaning it had only been around for about two years—practically brand-new. And they're already talking about "traditions"?
Not wanting the sound of swallowing to distract me from their conversation, I held the water in my mouth and focused on their words.
And I would soon come to regret not swallowing.
"There's one thing every member of the 0th Legion absolutely must know. A story about our Legion Commander, Demon-nim."
"Oh no… Don't tell me—"
"Yeah. I mean, it's the 0th Legion. You need to know the full story of how Demon-nim killed the Hero. That way you won't get embarrassed if someone brings it up."
PFFFFT—!!
"Cough, cough! Hack—!"
"D-Demon-nim?!"
Thank goodness I ducked my head in time, narrowly avoiding the disaster of spraying water into Edgar's face. Coughing uncontrollably, I wiped my mouth, trying to clear my throat.
The one panicking now was Edgar.
He fumbled for a fresh handkerchief and pressed it to my mouth. Then he pulled it back to check the inside—and immediately his face went pale with horror.
"B-Blood…?"
Huh? Did I start bleeding again?
Judging by his ghostly expression, I must have.
Not that it was the first time or anything. No need to get so worked up…
"There's no blood! Get the physician! Get the physician!!"
"…What?"
"Ben! Where are you?! Beeeennnn!!"
Um—hello? Does no one think this is weird?
Why are they more panicked because there's no blood? Isn't it supposed to be the opposite?
His handkerchief was spotless.
No red stains or anything—of course. I just choked, that's all.
"What happened?!"
Oh no. Now Ben's here too.
Seeing him rush over in a panic made my conscience twinge.
I was about to step in and calm things down, but my overly diligent adjutant beat me to it—grabbing Ben by the collar and shouting at full volume:
"Demon-nim suddenly had a severe coughing fit—but there was no blood!!"
"Good heavens!!"
At that point, I gave up trying to understand anything.
It was hopeless. These people had absolutely no concept of common sense.