Marsh watched from the safety of the medical tent. Brow furrowed, lip caught between his teeth.
Every soldier that entered camp was unknowingly subjected to a searching glance from Marsh.
They were all exhausted, half of them limping back into camp. Bodies draped in mud and blood, faces hollow with exhaustion.
But amongst them, there were no signs of white hair.
Of red eyes. With an unconscious body slung over his shoulder.
He had left to retrieve another wounded….and he hadn't returned yet. It wasn't that Arthur had been gone for some time.
But everyone, even Arthur, knew better to stay out on the battlefield when night was closing in.
As the final wave of soldiers stumbling in, battered and beaten, Marsh's hope took another crippling hit.
The sun's last golden rays stretched thin across the horizon, slowly swallowed by the creeping jaws of night.
'No…'
The battlefield was silent now.
No more footsteps, or idle conversation.
Just weary men turning in for the night.
And Arthur wasn't one of them.
That meant…he hadn'—
'Wait, what's that.'
Squinting, Marsh tried peering through the thickening darkness.
There was a figure there.
A moving silhouette. It grew rapidly larger, as if racing the night.
And Marsh just knew who it was. 'Arthur.'
When the final rays of sunlight caught him, it revealed a head of white hair, and two wide feral eyes.
And…the body of Officer Mara, slung across his shoulders.
A shiver ran down Marsh's spine.
Arthur….had changed.
His eyes seemed to have become sharper. More dangerous, almost wild.
Letting out a shaky breath, Marsh smiled.
It didn't matter how he changed.
All that mattered, was that he had made it.
————————-
Exhaustion gnawed at my bones like a wild animal.
My legs felt like they were stubbornly trying to rebel against me.
'Damn legs…I'm trying to save your life.' No wait…talking to my own legs was definitely a sign of madness.
The trial had healed me, but it had also drained me in a way I hadn't immediately noticed, too caught up in the thrill of having mana.
Blood thundering in my ears, I ran in a dead sprint. Officer Mara's weight pressing down on me.
"MAAARSSHHH!!!!" I bellowed…calmly.
In a blur of movement, he was right beside me, his face split in a relieved grin.
"Help" I grunted.
Marsh moved, slinging Mara's arm over his shoulder, relieving me of some of the burden.
Together, we staggered into the medical tent.
A healer turned towards us, his eyes widening slightly as he spotted Officer Mara. It was the same old man before, the one who tended my injuries after brawls and training. He looked worse than I'd ever known him. Face drawn tight with exhaustion.
"Step back" he muttered as we lowered her into an empty bed.
Obeying I tried to move out the way, yet my knees seemed to have finally committed to their rebellion, and I buckled immediately.
If not for Marsh catching me, I would've unceremoniously cracked my head off the floor.
"Are you alright?" Marsh asked.
The question struck deeper than what he probably intended, and my thoughts went back to the trial..
In the moment when I thought I was dead, and I wondered who would've missed me.
'Why hadn't I thought of Marsh?'
"I'm fine" I replied, forcing a reassuring grin. "You know me, I'm always fine"
Marsh studied me, unconvinced, then sighed. "I'll get you a chair."
I sat stiffly, my focus never leaving Officer Mara.
I wasn't exactly sure why I cared. We weren't friends. She barely tolerated me and I responded to the sentiment in kind.
Yet, I had to know.
Had I saved her?
Did I make it?
Finally, the healer stepped back, looking on the verge of collapse. Standing, I offered him the chair.
"How is she?"
The old man exhaled deeply, rubbing his face.
"Not good. Some of her wounds have been festering for hours. She's been holding herself together with mana, but that's the problem with your kind. You push yourselves too far, thinking mana makes you untouchable."
His dark eyes met mine, and for the first time, I saw something close to emotion there.
"Never forget, boy. It doesn't matter how power you wield, at the end of day, you're still nothing more than flesh and blood. You can die like any man."
'He's right.'
Without realising I had believed that having mana had made me more than human. Stronger. Untouchable.
'But if that were true, I wouldn't have been able to kill so many people.'
"She'll need more treatments throughout the night," the healer continued. "But she'll live."
Relief bled through my body. "Thank you."
He gave me a long look but said nothing more before shuffling away. Marsh had left at some point, leaving only me and Mara.
I stayed. Standing there, staring at her unconscious figure, unsure of why I was still here.
Eventually, she stirred. Her dark eyes fluttered open, hazy and unfocused.
"You're safe," I said.
Her gaze snapped to mine, then softened. Her body relaxing.
"I made it back… barely."
"Thank you," she rasped.
I nodded and turned away, finally satisfied enough to leave. I had seen it with my own two eyes. She'd live.
"Wait… Arthur."
I paused. "Yeah?"
"My necklace."
I glanced at it. "What about it?"
"Take it," she rasped, coughing. "It masks mana signatures… I want you to have it."
I hesitated, refusing to step closer. "Why?"
A weak smile ghosted her lips. "Because you remind me of someone."
"Who?"
"My brother."
Something unreadable flickered in her eyes. I wanted to ask more, but she turned her head away, ending the conversation.
Slowly, warily, I reached for the necklace. It was a silver chain with a ruby pendant, warm against my palm despite the cold.
"Thank you," I murmured.
She said nothing, still staring at the far wall.
Taking the cue, I stepped out into the night, leaving her alone.
The necklace gleamed in my hand, pulsing with heat.
Or… was that me? Was it the warmth in my chest, quiet and powerful.
A feeling both lovely and revolting.
My words from before crept back into my mind like a dark relapse.
'Is there anything quite as pathetic as the abhorred seeking love from those who abhor them?'
My chest tightened as I slipped the necklace over my head, tucking it beneath my armor.
'How disgustingly nice…'
As I walked back, I ran into Marsh. The poor boy looked on the verge of collapse.
"Hey Arthur" he yawned, rubbing his eyes.
"Marsh, what're you doing up?"
"Nothing…"
I raised my eyebrows, not buying a single word.
"…fine" he relented, "I was going to check up on you."
"Me?" Shooting a winning smile I gave him a playful nudge. "Naa, I don't need any of that. I'm doing just fine and dandy, you know me."
Marsh rolled his eyes, "please, I'm old enough to know that's a lie."
"Ohh, look at you? Where's the sweet little Marsh that I remember" I gasped in mock sadness.
He chuckled childishly, "Still here…if you want to go on a walk?"
"Always" I smiled back, patting his head.
We walked together in companionable silence, enjoying each others company.
It was a nice thing to spend some time with Marsh.
His optimism was infectious, in many ways, he felt like the kid brother I never had.
'Elsie would've liked him.' For a moment I thought back to my kid sister. My real kid sister, in this world. 'I wonder if she misses me?'
"What you thinking about?" Marsh asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Nothing much."
"Uh huh, sure. I believe you."
Hiding my smile, I gave him a side look. "Is that sarcasm? Who taught you that?"
Marsh grinned wildly, "Nobody."
"You know, they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."
"Who says that?" Marsh asked with a frown.
"….."
"No really, who says that?"
For a moment I just looked at him, then I broke into a loud bout of laughter.
Marsh's frown deepened, "What's so funny?"
"Nothing" I chuckled. "So, now that we're walking, why don't you tell me the actual reason you came up to me?"
It took considerable effort to hold back another smile as I saw Marsh's too large eyes widening further, making him look like some sort of owl. "What? You knew?"
"Marsh, Marsh, Marsh, I know everything. So come on, fess up."
"Well" he began hesitantly. "Do you think, you know, you might let me come with you tomorrow?"
"Absolutely not" I cut in firmly.
"Bu-"
"No Marsh" I interrupted, taking him by the shoulders so he had no choice but to look right at me. "It is far, far, too dangerous for you. I can't—I won't let you."
"So it's okay if you go but not me?"
"Yes."
"Look" I sighed, my mind feeling more weary than ever. "I'm…not okay Marsh. I lied earlier. I doubt I'm ever going to be okay, for life. You don't want to be like me, but that's what you'll become if you join the fighting.
This is a decision that will affect the rest of your life, and you're way too young to truly understand what the rest of your life means."
"But you can? And what, I'm allowed to stay safe, but everyone else can go die?"
"It's too late for everyone here Marsh, but not for you. You can move on from this, outgrow this."
It was clear from his eyes that he still didn't agree.
'Man…I just want to go to sleep.'
"Look, just don't join me tomorrow. We can talk about this properly later, I promise. Okay?"
He didn't say anything for a moment, but eventually he nodded, agreeing.
"Good" I breathed out in relief. "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow Marsh, I need to get some sleep."
"See you Arthur" he responded, voice more subdued.
Shaking my head, I walked back to the barracks.
'I'll definitely talk to him later before he does anything stupid.