As with the carnivals of previous years, this year's Nancheng Festival of Frenzy was once again held in the city's largest amusement park.
Though it was barely past seven in the evening, the place was already swarming with people, packed so tightly that not even a breeze could slip through. Long queues formed outside the ticket booths, and unsurprisingly, some took the opportunity to engage in petty misconduct.
At that moment, noticing two beautiful women each holding a little girl and thus distracted, a middle-aged man in a crisp suit edged closer, brazenly exploiting the situation under the guise of proximity.
"Sir, would you mind stepping back a little?" Ye Rong's eyes flashed with indignation as she noticed his hand creeping towards her chest again. She scowled and took two irritated steps back.
Her voice was raised enough to draw the attention of the crowd. Dozens of eyes turned their way, making the suited man visibly uncomfortable. Yet he quickly tried to feign righteousness. "Miss, this is the ticket line—of course it's crowded. Why should you be allowed to stand here and not I?"
As he spoke, he deliberately moved closer, clearly intending to press the advantage.
Before he could make another move, Chen Mo stepped in, smiling serenely, his gaze cool and assessing.
The sudden appearance of a protector made the suited man waver, though he tried to maintain composure. "What's your problem? Standing in line isn't a crime, is it?"
"Not at all!" Chen Mo shrugged casually, the faint glow at his fingertip flickering like a hidden blade as he brushed lightly against the man's suit. "Of course, queuing isn't a crime. But if one were to suddenly drop their pants…"
"What?" The man blinked, confused. But before he could react, the belt around his waist snapped inexplicably.
With a loud thud, his baggy trousers dropped to his ankles, revealing his hairy thighs for all to see.
Silence fell. Every gaze in the vicinity snapped toward him, as though he bore some rare and mystical tattoo.
Then someone with an exceptionally keen eye blurted out, "Whoa! Cartoon underwear? That's… actually kind of cute!"
It was a stunning sight indeed—a well-dressed businessman caught in brightly colored briefs adorned with little bears.
The unfortunate man froze, stunned into immobility. He instinctively covered the front, then the back, fumbling in a pitiful panic.
Chen Mo sighed and patted him on the shoulder, offering kindly, "I have a piece of rope here. Perhaps it could tide you over for now?"
The words snapped the man out of his trance. With a strangled cry, he yanked up his trousers and bolted toward the restrooms.
He leapt over obstacles with surprising grace, perhaps channeling Liu Xiang in his prime—but with that leap, his pants slipped again, exposing everything the wind had no business seeing.
An elderly restroom attendant gawked. After a long pause, he muttered, "Wow… is it that urgent? Dropping your pants before reaching the toilet?"
Back in line, Ye Rong looked stunned. Her eyes widened with awe. "Xiao Momo, how did you do that?"
"What do you think?" Chen Mo grinned impishly and hummed, "I've got many secrets, but I won't tell you," before strolling off to buy tickets.
His smile lasted only a few seconds. When he saw the ticket prices, it vanished.
"Seriously? For a carnival?" he muttered, coughing at the expense.
When he finally emerged with four tickets, the only thought in his mind was that he'd be living on plain steamed buns for the rest of the month. Maybe there's a discount if I buy ten at once?
"You offered to treat us, remember? No one forced you," Ye Rong added cheerfully, hand in hand with Mu Yun and little Xun'er as they entered the park.
Chen Mo glared after them, not even getting a chance to wallow in regret before Guan San casually walked past and swiped the last ticket. "Mine. Go buy another, thanks!"
"Damn it!" Chen Mo was speechless. Why didn't you just hide in your pot like usual?
"Too stuffy in there. Doesn't suit a man of my stature," Guan San replied innocently. "Also, the pot wandered off somewhere."
"Gone?" Chen Mo blinked, a sudden sense of foreboding creeping over him.
His unease only deepened when he noticed Guan San still wearing his ancient green robe and carrying a blade. "Dude! You're dressed like that? Be careful—they might actually arrest you… Uh, forget I said anything."
Truth be told, thanks to the carnival, the entire park had become a massive costume party.
Compared to all the Batmen and Spider-Men running around, Guan San's getup was surprisingly harmonious. Perhaps it was his aura—the ancient costume seemed made for him. Girls flocked to take photos with him, making Chen Mo even more jealous.
"Big deal. Tomorrow I'm coming as Zhuge Liang!" he growled, then sighed and clutched his wallet in despair as he lined up again.
Glancing at the growing crowd around him and then at his own slender frame, he sighed, "Nancheng's great, but there are just too many people…"
"Too many people? Isn't that perfect?"
Just outside the park's southeastern wall, a man named Ryan stood by the roadside, sharing the exact same thought.
But unlike Chen Mo's helplessness, Ryan was thrilled by the crowd.
He adjusted his glasses and glanced at the black backpack behind him. "If this doesn't take out a few hundred, I'd be ashamed to call myself a bomb expert…"
Before he could finish the thought, a sudden force slammed into his back, sending him flying.
Despite his title, Ryan lacked physical resilience. The fall nearly shattered his bones.
When he groggily got up, he instinctively reached behind—and froze.
"Damn it! My bag!"
His scream echoed down the street. Spotting an electric scooter zipping away, he tried to give chase but was far too late.
Luckily, a traffic officer on a motorcycle appeared. Ryan ran over like a drowning man grasping a lifeline. "Officer! I've just been robbed! That way!"
It was quite a sight—evil calling for the law.
Unfortunately, Ryan's Mandarin was atrocious. With much gesturing, he finally managed to convey what had happened.
"Got it!" The officer didn't waste time. He motioned for Ryan to hop on the bike and sped off in pursuit.
As he radioed for backup, he turned to Ryan. "Tell me—any distinguishing features? We'll try to intercept him."
"Um… I'm not sure. I think there was no one riding it."
Realizing how absurd that sounded, Ryan quickly added, "But I did see the license plate. It was… NB666, I think."
Screech!
The motorcycle came to a sudden halt. Ryan nearly flew off.
Before he could complain, the officer turned, eyes serious. "Sir, filing a false report wastes police resources and is a criminal offense."
"What? A false report?" Ryan exploded. "I'm an American citizen who just got robbed in your damn city, and instead of helping me, you accuse me of lying? I'll file a formal complaint!"
"Go ahead." The officer's tone was icy as he pointed to a passing electric scooter. "Sir, our e-bikes don't go over 20 kilometers per hour. You expect me to believe that one outran you? Was it possessed by Usain Bolt?"
"…Uh…" Ryan suddenly found himself speechless.
Facts were facts. E-bikes were slow. Unless it had rocket boosters, it wasn't outpacing anyone.
"Please dismount." The officer already had his radio in hand, ready to report.
What could he say? Ryan climbed off the motorcycle, heart filled with fury and sorrow. My God—China really is insane. Even e-bikes outrun BMWs here. What kind of world is this?
"What kind of world is this?" the officer muttered as he drove away, the wind carrying his sigh. "My God—America really is insane. Even nerdy guys like that run scams now?"
"…I…" Watching the officer's retreating figure, Ryan nearly spat blood.
Almost by instinct, he raised a fist and roared, "Damn it, I wasn't scamming anyone! All my bombs were in that—uh, never mind! Forget I said anything!"
He had almost sent himself straight to jail. Swallowing his words just in time, Ryan turned away.
But after a few steps, he kicked a trash can in frustration and spat fiercely. "Damn it! Without that bag, how am I supposed to cause an explosion? I'll find that bastard and—"
"Littering. Fine: five yuan."
A cold, mechanical voice cut in. A middle-aged woman wearing a red armband materialized from nowhere.
"What are you looking at? Yes, I mean you!" she snapped, handing him the fine. "Cough it up. I've been waiting here for two hours—finally got my first case!"