"Stop right there! Halt! Or I'll set the dogs—no, I'll unleash My Fair Princess on you!"
In the dim night, Chen Mo gasped for breath as he raced up the mountain path, only to watch the distance between them grow steadily.
Damn that Guan San—he ran faster than a hare. Even with the combined efforts of Cheche, Benben, and himself encircling him, the man still managed to escape repeatedly.
Speed alone would be forgivable… but somehow, this fellow had agility fit for a thief in a wuxia tale. He soared up meter-high boulders without so much as a running start.
"Damn it! With hops like that, why aren't you competing in the Olympics?" Chen Mo sighed in disbelief, then suddenly bellowed, "Look! Liu Bei's here!"
"Where?" Guan San, poised to leap onto a rock, turned his head instinctively—only to be flattened mid-air by the airborne Benben.
"I knew that would work!" Without a moment of celebration, Chen Mo threw himself onto the downed fugitive. The two were immediately entangled in a tangle of limbs that, from a distance, looked alarmingly intimate.
"Uhh… I think I'll skip the threesome," Cheche mumbled, tilting his head toward the sky, pretending he'd seen nothing.
Benben, however, was all too eager to help. He turned on the player, which burst into a scene featuring a lecherous man leering, "Scream all you want, little lady—no one will come for you!"
"Smack it off! Turn that thing off now!" Chen Mo shot a look of exasperation at the screen, then swiftly pinned the struggling Guan San down again. "Don't move. One more twitch and I won't help you find Liu Bei!"
At once, Guan San ceased struggling. He lay still, practically offering himself up with a posture that screamed, "Do with me what you will."
Then Cheche chimed in with the most inappropriate encouragement, "When the inevitable comes, it's better to just close your eyes and enjoy it!"
"Smack it again!" Chen Mo rolled his eyes and shoved both machines aside. Panting, he turned to Guan San. "You're looking for your wooden brothers, aren't you? Was it really worth risking your life over?"
"There's no danger. I still have time!" Guan San answered instinctively, but then froze, eyes widening. "Wait… how do you know that?"
"I did some digging." Chen Mo nodded toward Benben, then tossed a cigarette at Guan San. "I heard that more than a decade ago, South City had a massive boxwood tree, later carved into three wooden figures…"
As Benben's research revealed, the enormous boxwood tree had indeed been sculpted into effigies of Liu, Guan, and Zhang. But unlike Guan San, who ended up in a museum, the other two figures—Liu and Zhang—had vanished into obscurity after numerous hands.
Because the statues were both symbolic of brotherhood and carved from the same sacred tree, Guan San couldn't bear to be separated from them. His great escape was, clearly, to seek them out.
But that raised another question: Why the hell had he run off to a temple dedicated to Lord Guan? What, was he planning to pose as a stand-in and earn some travel money?
"I just wanted a look." The mention of the statues seemed to sting. Guan San dropped his usual dramatics and squatted in silence, drawing circles in the dust. "They've got statues of Big Bro and Third Bro here… I know they're not really them, but it gives me some peace to see them."
Seeing a flamboyant poseur suddenly overcome with emotion—eyes misty—was almost comically touching.
Yet, somehow, no one laughed. Not Chen Mo, nor the machines. Instead, Cheche muttered softly to Benben, "Poor guy. When we get back, let's buy a few boxes of Viagra for Nuonuo… you know, to honor our own brotherhood."
"Smack!" With a dry blink, Chen Mo slapped them both aside and turned his attention back to the tearful Guan San.
"All right," he said at last, exhaling smoke, "This one's on me. If I ever have the money and the time, I'll bring Liu Bei and Zhang Fei back to you."
"Really?" Guan San trembled, so stunned he didn't even notice the cigarette burning his fingers.
"Of course! They don't call me Honest Little Mo for nothing." Chen Mo winced—not at the sentiment, but at the boxwood statue now scarred by a cigarette butt. "But on one condition—you help me run this museum."
This wasn't some spur-of-the-moment idea. Chen Mo had thought it through.
By day, he worked at the Lucky Inn; by night, he had to patrol the museum. Not even a machine could keep up.
So if he wanted a night off once in a while, he needed someone trustworthy. Loyal. Diligent.
Guan San was perfect—familiar with the museum, capable of intimidating rogue exhibits, and most importantly, in need of a favor. That beat any formal contract.
For Guan San, it wasn't a bad deal either. After a brief pause, he nodded solemnly.
The two clasped hands. Seeing a shadow of hesitation still linger, Chen Mo patted his shoulder and said, "Relax, I won't screw you over. Hey, in this life, all we've got is…"
"All we've got is loyalty!"
The sudden cry shattered the quiet temple square.
Startled, Chen Mo yanked Guan San down behind the steps. Peering into the dark, they saw a slow-moving procession of dozens of men in black.
Each had a Guan blade tattooed on his left arm and a look that practically screamed "mobster."
But what truly caught Chen Mo's eye was a familiar figure in front.
Holding two pistols, a scrawny man with a wide grin flashed two golden teeth. "Loyalty, brothers! We can't elect a new boss through brute force. We pay our respects to Lord Guan first—then we settle things like gentlemen!"
"Chang Gold-Tooth?"
Memories of a naked sprint months prior surged through Chen Mo's mind. The sheer arrogance of the man before him was surreal.
But what was more shocking was that Chang, a notorious underworld broker, was merely leading the way. Was this a South City crime syndicate jamboree?
It hardly mattered. What did matter was that they'd chosen this temple for their gathering. And with only one road up or down the mountain, things were looking grim.
Scanning the empty clearing and the mob that had begun to sweep the mountain, Chen Mo rubbed his temples.
What now? Sell tickets? Dig a hole and chant "I am invisible"?
"Old Chen, want me to fight our way out?" Guan San gripped his blade with conviction. "A few thugs? Please. Once, I broke through five gates and felled six generals! Of course… that wasn't me, per se."
"Smack! Why are you so dramatic about something you didn't even do?" Chen Mo rolled his eyes at the sheepish warrior, then gave a thoughtful nod.
"What now…" Guan San paled under his gaze, lifting his blade in defense. "Old Chen, I sell my skills, not my body!"
"Get lost. I'm not into men," Chen Mo muttered, wiping sweat from his brow as he turned toward the temple.
After a few seconds, he grinned wickedly. "Little Guan, tonight you're all mine."
"Huh?" Guan San barely had time to react before Chen Mo dragged him inside.
The door slammed shut behind them, heralding the beginning of some dubious scene…
Seconds later:
A startled cry from Guan San.
Then Chen Mo's hushed command: "Stop whining! Take your clothes off!"
"All of them?" Guan San's hesitant voice echoed.
"Of course! Even the undies! Perfect—now you're underneath, I'm on top!"
"…I see."
Cheche and Benben exchanged a long look, eyes lifting to the sky as the unspoken image formed.
After a pause, Benben shivered. "Cheche… I think I understand now. Why Boss never chose Rong-jie or Jiadie… it was all because…"
Nodding in solemn agreement, the two machines sighed in unison.
Meanwhile, Chang Gold-Tooth and his gang reached the summit.
Spotting the electric cart at the gate, the broker scratched his head. "Huh? This looks familiar."
"Familiar, my ass!" A voice snarled. A sunglasses-wearing man with a hideous scar on his cheek strode forward. "You said the same thing last time you saw my woman—and then you know what!"
"Get lost! I didn't lay a finger on her!" Chang flushed red, but quickly countered, "And at least I chase tail, unlike some greedy bastard who sold our hall to the Dongxing gang for thirty grand!"
"Say that again!" Scar Liu's rage ignited, his hand already on his pistol.
"You know what you did," Chang snapped, thumping his chest like a sideshow strongman. "Go ahead, shoot me! I'm not afraid of you!"
As tension flared, neither noticed the strange sight just behind the cart—
A laptop was sneaking into the temple, mumbling, "Boss, hope I'm not interrupting… just carry on doing your thing. Pretend I'm not here…"