Home 11.00Pm
I collapsed onto my bed like a puppet with its strings violently severed.
No flair. No grace. Just the sound of my bones agreeing with gravity in the loudest way possible. My phone slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor with a dull thud. I didn't even flinch.
Let it fall.
I was done.
More than done. I'd passed through "tired," sprinted past "exhausted," and crash-landed in a flaming heap at "husk of a boy who tried too hard to care."
My eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above, which was still the same boring off-white it had always been.
And yet, for some reason, it felt darker today.
I blinked. Once. Slowly. My eyelids felt like they were made of stone.
No thoughts. No dreams. Just noise. A fuzzy static humming at the edges of my mind like a broken radio.
Totally empty.
Absolutely blank.
Like my math test last semester.
I shut my eyes.
Ahhh. Sweet, merciful nothingness.
The great Japanese dream: sleep so deep you transcend taxes, responsibilities, and awkward LINE messages from girls you like.
The moment my consciousness started to slip—
"Aaah—! Sh—!"
It hit me.
Pain.
Not just the "I stubbed my toe on the bed" kind. No. That would've been mercy.
This pain was different.
This pain was surgical.
It crept in with cruel precision, threading itself into the very core of my skull like a whispering worm burrowing into my gray matter.
At first, it was a dull, rhythmic throb. Like a heartbeat—no, more like a countdown.
Three… two… one—
BOOM.
Agony.
Raw. Burning. Violent.
It was like someone had taken a red-hot branding iron and jammed it right into my temples.
No, that's too kind.
This was worse—like my brain had become a pressure cooker with the lid welded shut and someone just cranked the dial to "obliterate."
I tried to cry out. My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Just a hoarse gasp.
Every nerve in my body began to scream.
My vision blurred. Colors warped and smeared like paint dripping off a dying god's canvas. I saw white static, then red, then black.
It was like my skull was being forcibly split open from the inside.
"Ngh—wh… what the hell…" I choked out, barely above a whisper. I clutched at my head, fingers clawing at my temples like they could somehow tear the pain out.
But it was already too late.
Something inside me had cracked.
I couldn't tell if I was shivering or convulsing.
Every breath was a razor dragged across my throat.
Every heartbeat a hammer pounding from within my chest.
The air around me thickened, grew heavy, almost greasy—like it was filled with invisible rot. My skin felt too tight. My bones itched. My teeth ached in their sockets.
And that voice.
Oh God.
That voice.
It whispered. Cool. Calculated. Cruel.
"Her love for you dropped."
What…?
What are you talking about?
"Repeat the day again to regain that lost love."
I froze.
Or rather—I would've, if my entire body wasn't already paralyzed in a state of primal suffering.
"W-What…?" I tried to ask. My tongue barely worked. My lips felt numb. My voice sounded like it was being broadcast from inside a coffin.
There was no answer.
Only a silence so deep it seemed to bend space around it.
And then—
BOOM.
Again.
But this time, it wasn't just a sound.
It was a rupture.
My hands clawed at my head like I was trying to remove my own brain.
White static filled my vision.
Blood roared in my ears.
Is this it?
Am I dying a virgin?!
The world tore apart.
My senses split open like overripe fruit. My ears rang with something between thunder and screaming—my screaming, I think—and then...
Darkness.
Real, consuming darkness.
Not the poetic kind. Not gentle. Not sleep.
This was the kind of black that eats everything. Light. Sound. Thought.
Even my pain.
And for a moment, I felt peace.
But then—
I awoke.
Cold sweat soaked my shirt. My heart thundered against my ribs like it wanted out.
"…If love is madness, let me shatter like glass,
So long as I'm shattered by you."
I knew that voice.
No. No, no, no.
My eyes flew open, heart hammering.
I was staring at the classroom chalkboard.
The morning sun streamed through the windows. Familiar. Too familiar.
And in front of me…
Was Rin Kamoshida.
Standing at the front of the class.
Holding a notebook in her trembling hands.
Her voice wavered—but it was unmistakably full of raw sincerity.
"…I-I like you, Mizuki Kaito!" Rin squeaked, voice breaking like a vinyl record dragged through static. "P-please go out with me!"
My blood ran cold.
This already happened.
This was—this was this morning.
I glanced around.
Same classmates.
Same shocked expressions.
Same teacher frozen by the door with a coffee can in hand.
My own fingers gripped the desk.
Sweating.
Shaking.
The confession.
It was happening again.