"After we found the cabin, you went outside to check the surroundings, right? While you were gone, we talked about you."
"What did you talk about?"
"We were talking about the other survivors we met today. Remember how one of the guys threw a dagger at Yoojung? And you shot his hand with an arrow?"
I nodded silently at Kim Hanbyul's words. At the time, I was assuming the worst-case scenario. If Woo Jungmin and Sun Yoon had gone all out to kill us, we surely would have lost at least one or two of our group unless I revealed my full abilities. That's why I had been prepared to restrain one of them immediately, just in case.
"And Hyun blocked the dagger with his shield."
"That's right."
"Everyone was saying things like, 'Hyun is amazing,' 'Thanks, Hyun.' They were really praising him. But do you know what they're saying after seeing your actions today?"
"..."
I had a vague idea what she was about to say, but I didn't want to hear it. Even before I could speak, Kim Hanbyul continued.
"Even if they don't say it outright, it's obvious they're shocked. Ahnsol was almost in tears, saying she was scared. Hyun and Yoojung also looked quite shaken. And that's not all. They're not happy about how bluntly you spoke to that woman today."
"Hmm. I see."
When I nodded calmly, Hanbyul looked at me in disbelief.
"'Hmm. I see'? Seriously? Don't you feel wronged? You did that to protect Yoojung, and everyone left the explanation to me because they didn't want to talk. Don't you feel like—'you guys don't have the right to say that'?"
Did I? Maybe I was too deep in thought to notice the subtle change in atmosphere. I was a bit disappointed, but I didn't want to make it into something serious. Either way, once we enter Hall Plain, sooner or later, they too may have to kill someone.
Kim Hanbyul seemed frustrated with my indifferent expression and tried to reason with me.
"You always think things through by yourself. You try to handle all the heavy burdens on your own. I know you don't mean any harm by it."
"I think there's been a misunderstanding. Just a moment—"
"I'm not saying the misunderstanding itself is a problem. Like I said before, I always trusted your judgment. I still do."
With her words, it felt like a heavy stone dropped in my heart. Since we left the city, I had often caught her staring at me. Especially when I was discussing plans with Hyun. I had brushed it off, thinking it was nothing, but it seems Hanbyul had really been paying attention.
"That's not it. We—"
"Oppa. You don't have to be formal with me."
I stumbled over my words when she suddenly cut me off. When I looked at her with widened eyes, she glared at me with dissatisfaction.
"Huh?"
"Speak casually, like you do with everyone else. Why are you so formal only with me?"
"...Okay."
For a moment, I lost my composure. Me. The ten-year veteran of Hall Plain...
Let's stop. Every time I see Kim Hanbyul, I'm reminded of Han Soyeong, and it shakes me. I can't chalk it up to charisma. There was definitely something in the way I looked at her. It reminded me of someone from long ago.
I cleared my throat and continued the conversation.
"I haven't always made the decisions on my own. You, me, Hyun, Sol—we all think together."
"Don't lie. At least you had the decency to leave Yoojung unmentioned."
"Didn't Hyun go through more hardship than me? He was amazing even in today's fight with the monkeys."
"There you go again. That might work on Hyun oppa or Yoojung unnie, but not on me. Don't try to cleverly change the subject. Hyun and I barely managed to take down two together. But you handled two on your own. And you even helped Yoojung unnie during her fight."
Her words hit a nerve. She really is similar. I started to think I couldn't take her lightly. Maybe those glances were actually her observing me. It seemed she had prepared thoroughly.
I sighed inwardly. I decided to listen a bit more before I laid it all out clearly.
"You've always been like this. In the forest, in the city, even when we met those strangers. You usually stay one step back, but when it really matters, you step forward. If we consider ourselves a team, then you're the one holding it all together. Not Hyun. That's why I was upset. Why do you have to be the one to take that kind of criticism?"
'Is she really concerned about me?'
"I see it differently. Hyun is great—he's proactive, decisive, and brave. And I don't think you need to overanalyze those comments. We're all leaders, and cooperation is what matters in this rite-of-passage world."
"Please stop. Why are you always like this?"
"I don't even know what you're trying to say anymore."
Even as I said that, my heart ached. I didn't have the courage to face the calm, cold look in Hanbyul's eyes. The air around her felt like a frigid storm. That's how intense it was.
"Stop lying! The one who really leads and makes the hard decisions is you, Suhyeon oppa! You let Hyun handle the easy, visible stuff while you silently do the hard things alone. So why do people only praise and thank Hyun? Why are they afraid of you, the one who does all the dirty work? And why do you try so hard to hide it?"
"You..."
"If this continues, you'll just act the same in the next situation. And this will happen again. What matters is, we all rely on you more than we realize. No one would oppose it. So please, be the leader of our team. Whether you think it over by yourself or we all talk together, from now on, let's act together. If you're our leader, no one will complain."
Kim Hanbyul was practically pleading now. Honestly, I was still in shock. If it were Lee Yoojung standing here, I'd just chalk it up to her personality. But Hanbyul was hard to read. Even so, I kept trying to figure out why she brought this up to me now.
The tension between us lingered, and the cold of early dawn seeped into our bones. But Hanbyul clearly wasn't going to leave—or let me leave—without an answer.
I bit my lip, then slowly opened my mouth.
"I..."
Day 6 dawned.
After finishing the last night watch, Hyun woke everyone and started preparing for departure. He twisted his body, groaning from the stiffness. I hadn't slept properly either, but my body wasn't weak enough to feel fatigue from just one sleepless night.
"Morning. Sleep well?"
I deliberately greeted brightly. Ansol flinched, then quickly bowed her head with a nervous look and ran off. In the past, I'd have laughed it off, thinking she was just shy. But seeing it up close now, a bitter smile crept over my face.
Maybe Hyun noticed it too—he scolded Ansol, asking if she thought it was okay to just give a slight bow to her big brother. She looked down again, close to tears. Yoojung came over and comforted her, the two bickering a little. Ansol looked like she didn't know what to do.
I stood a step back, silently watching the warm scene. It really was heartwarming. They could've passed for real siblings. It was so friendly and warm that it almost made me forget this was the hellish rite of passage.
But I didn't belong there. And I knew it better than anyone.
They and I were fundamentally different. When I killed a hundred users in the past, that thought had crossed my mind—I might not even be human anymore. Maybe I got too comfortable in their warmth and lost sight of myself.
'If someone who knew me back then saw me now, they'd probably faint.'
I laughed bitterly to myself. The mood darkened as I recalled the past. Whether he noticed or not, Hyun came over smiling.
"Hyung. We'll reach that warp gate thing today, right?"
"…Yeah."
"Then let's get going fast. It might be our last meal out here, so let's eat a big breakfast today. You need to eat too, hyung."
I gave him a faint smile and shook my head.
"No. I'm fine. You guys eat without me."
"Huh? But…"
"I don't eat before big events. It keeps me alert."
Hyun reluctantly nodded, then turned to Kim Hanbyul. She was still staring into the void with a cold face. I suddenly remembered our early morning talk.
"Hanbyul, are you going to eat—"
"I'm not eating."
"Huh? Don't be like that—"
"I said I'm not eating."
She cut him off coldly before he could finish. Ansol, shocked by the unexpected scene, fidgeted anxiously. Hyun awkwardly glanced between me and Hanbyul, scratched his head, and gave a sheepish smile. Even Yoojung, who was watching from the back, didn't dare break the tension and spoke more politely than usual.
"Ahaha… Guess it's just us eating then."
"Y-yeah… More for us, I guess. Hoho… We're really going to eat all this…?"
Naturally, neither Hanbyul nor I responded. Even Lee Yoojung was clearly shaken, pouting and puffing her cheeks. I felt Hanbyul staring at me. But I had no intention of looking her way and ignored her gaze. The mood turned even colder.
A lively Day 6 morning.
That morning began with three people awkwardly watching two others.