Julian's POV :
"I've screwed up this time!" I whisper-yelled to myself.
The whole day I had to stay in the King's indoor office just to combine all the paperworks from my and Matthew's visit to the north-west region which got affected by the earthquake. I wasn't apointed as any kind of official post, at least not yet but my dad needed a little help and being the least generous, I had to agree. As you can see that actually went for hours so much for a little help and here I'm almost sprinting through the courtyards with a full serving of whole set of dinner for my childhood bestfriend, the second prince of this Royal family, Felix Lawrence....wait, he prefers to be called Felix Chase now.
My university class starts from 5th September, me, Connor and Matthew are setting off tomorrow morning really early and I didn't even get the chance to see Felix yet, he is going to be mad once he knows that we are leaving without him.
I almost tripped on my own leg twice, the obvious clumsy I am, how am I supposed to handle the whole kingdom alongside Matthew?! The way he handles things always fascinates me, he is strict but caring, he sees a lots of things in a more broader view, he is maturing day by day and he will definitely make a great king, am I really that worthy for him?
The more I try not to think about these things, they always crawl into my mind whenever I'm not keeping myself busy, in other words, working helps me with coping from these matters.
My mind might have gone lost for a while as the person, now walking beside me, exasperatedly said "you're overthinking again. Aren't you?"
Matthew was looking ahead, not stopping, neither giving away any emotions. He knows me too well to give my self-conscious more criticism.
Since I didn't give any reaction, he stopped and so did I, just a step ahead. Before I could turn to face him, two strong arms snaked around my stomach from my back, caging me into a back hug, he leaned on me, keeping his chin on my shoulder, he sighed "here, it's the place where I can let my guards down finally and have my rest."
His breathes near my neck made a comfortable warmth spread through my whole body and I melted into the embrace. Sighing in content, I smiled and broke the hug, "as much as I love to stay like this with you always, right now I'm on my way to meet my most favourite friend so store them for a while." I started a little jog, Matthew joined too.
As we both stopped infront of Felix's chamber, panting a little, Matthew opened the door and let me in as I was holding the dinner set, but he didn't get in. When I gave him a questioning look, he gave me an assuring smile to go on and then he closed the door behind me.
As I turned around, there was no sign of Felix in there.
Maybe he is in the washroom.
When I was setting the dishes on the tea table which he uses for every meal, I heard footsteps behind me, coming from the direction of the washroom. A natural smile automatically generated on my face as I turned around to see him. And uhh....his upper body was bare, he only wore his comfy loose trousers, still drying his wet, shoulder length blonde hair with a towel so his view was totally covered, he could not see me.
"Ahh! This boy will never learn any prince like mannerisms! Who comes out of the dressing room without a shirt on?!" I muttered.
He might have heard it with his insanely accurate hearing power, as he removed the towel from his hair, then a huge smile appeared on his face. Almost like a lightening, he came running into me, engulfing me in a bone crushing hug.
"I've missed you, Jules!" Sighing in my warmth, he broke the hug and there was that signature pout which I missed the most from the other.
"I've missed you too, Lixie." I hugged him once more, not bothering the continuesly dripping water from his wet hair. My hands started caressing his back in a smooth way however the uneven two lines across his upper back reminded me of a heart-wrenching event and I stared at the mirror which was at his back, uncontrollably a gasp came out of me.
As I turned Felix around to his back which I expected to see scarred for life, was now covered with a very meticulously crafted tattoo, a pair of angle's wings. The designs perfectly covered the two crisscross scars that he recieved from two different people, one of them died in his hands at that very moment and he just had turned only 17 then. It had been five years since that horrible night, he is still searching for the other culprit while staying undercover and he definitely won't rest before he sees the end of all these.
I couldn't stay quiet without praising "Felix, they are so beautiful! The design suits you."
His face reflected several emotions in one go, but he restrained himself from resurfacing them. Facing me again, leaning his head on my shoulder, he whispered "Lian, you know how much I hate those scars. Those nasty things always reminds of my failure, my weakness. By covering them, I'm trying to not be bothered by them anymore. But the nightmares won't stop haunting me, afterall it's the fact that I failed to protect her and the damage was done."
Felix's voice almost faded as I felt his tears staining my shirt, this broke my heart even more. Caressing his now half-dry hair, I tried to calm him "shh! Those scars aren't some nasty things Felix. They prove your valour and courage, they prove that you've got a heart of angel who always shines and makes everything shiny. Don't be pessimistic now that you're so close to closing this mission."
After hearing my words, he quietly nodded then spoke "thanks Jules for this support. I really appreciate it."
Of course I needed to uplift his mood "yes, you better do or I'll drag Matthew here to beat you into a pulp and make you realise your worth!" I threatened.
Chuckling lightly, he raised his hands in surrender as he said "no need. For now you'll be enough. I don't need my second dad tormenting my little cozy peace!"
"Hey hey what do you mean by that?! Your brother was also worried sick about you and thank goodness that he had those men secretly spying over you in Gyanlo or you know what would've happened!"
Worriedly eyeing the dark brown blotch on his right upper arm which had an uneven stitch mark in the middle, probably caused by the poisoned arrow piercing, I glared at him. The wound was still in healing process. Sorry, sometimes his stubborn ass makes me to lash out like this.
"Yeah. Instead of seeing me with a whole body and alive, You would have been visiting my grave by now." He joked, which I didn't find anywhere near funny at all.
"Hey! Stop joking about your death like that! You know your brother is already traumatised about the past, you wanna add more?!" Incredulous, I couldn't keep my voice low.
However Felix was totally unaffected by it, of course he won't take me seriously even for once. His face kept the stoic facade all over but I was well aware that he was hurting inside, he won't say it out loud but he also needed someone to console him, to watch out for him.
With a softer voice I added "at least let him stay like this, in the dark, watching your back here and there, okay."
Giving a small smile he just nodded his head then went into the dressing room again to put on a shirt. As I waited beside the food, he came back whining "I'm starving, Lian! Let's eat together!"
Then we ate our dinner, the foods were neglected for too long, we gossiped about some random things, sometimes settling in comfortable silence, he is indeed a wonderful person to keep company.
After dinner we were on his bed, keeping his head on my lap, he kept whining about past five minutes now.
"Jules...can I go there with you guys? Please please please. It'll be so boring without all of you!"
That started after I finally let my tongue spill the news of us leaving in the morning.
"No Felix, the queen will be really hurt if you don't spend your 22nd birthday with her. Don't let her down always. And also use this break to heal your body." I tried to soothe him with a calmer tone.
"Then stay with me here tonight."
The signature pout was back again. Did I mention that his pouting face is an ultimate weapon for him to make everything go on his wish. I almost gave in, but Matthew was outside, in the coldness of night, patiently waiting for me to come back, so that we could head to my parents' home to pay them a visit before leaving at dawn.
"I wish I could, Lixie. But your brother and I are visiting my family tonight. I've been inside the royal court for so long that I almost forgot the taste of my mom's dishes. We'll be staying there tonight then leave from there at dawn. But of course I won't leave untill you fall asleep."
He seemed to understand my situation as he gave me a small smile and closed his eyes. And before I could feel any soreness on my legs, he relaxed, his breathing fading into a more soft and even rhythm as soft snores came out. He was really exhausted, hope he will definitely use this short break wisely. Resting his head on a pillow, covering him with the blanket, I made my way to the door.
As I clicked the latches closed, the very known strong pair of arms engulfed me in a back hug again.
Keeping his head in the crook of my neck, Matthew mumbled "I missed your warmth."
His voice was muffled, and I knew better than anyone he had been crying the whole time, might have heard everything from earlier. Facing him, I embraced him in a proper hug as I soothed him "Matt, don't be like this please. He knows you care and trust me he cares for you more than he shows and he won't be happy to see you like this."
My words were meant to be assuring for him, but I heard him choking on his own sob as he said "why won't he say those things to me? Am I that bad for a brother? He has cut almost all the ties with us. He has got power to make everything work out. Why won't he just use it? Just because it'll affect me and my reputation as the future king? He is a prince too for heaven's sake. And I don't give a damn about others' opinion. I just want my cute, little baby brother back here, at home, at ease and genuinely happy. Is it too much to ask that?"
Oh my God! He had suppressed these feelings for so long! Matthew had seen his seven years old baby brother going numb day by day until he learnt to fake every emotion and Matthew realised that his little, soft, fluffy, a literal sunshine of a brother was no longer existing and it broke him inside out. As years passed, Felix's intentional distancing had created a huge hollow in his heart which none of us could fill up only Felix could. And could we blame Felix for this damage? No, not at all.
Felix had his own turmoil to deal with, including his inner feelings which he himself never dared to confront. The only thing we could do is to give these two brothers time and be patience with them and we know that they will be just fine, right?
Caressing his back, I soothed him "everything is gonna be fine, Matt! Just give him some more time. And as a big brother you..." I felt a lump rising in my throat as well.
"Yeah yeah I know I shouldn't be like this. At least for him I should keep hold on my demands."
Breaking the hug, he sniffled lightly, then wiping the tears away, he said "I think we should get going, your parents will be waiting for us. Then let us take a good sleep, tomorrow will be a long day."
"Really?! Right now, you remember this?! You should've been in your dorm room, studying hard! Your final exam for this term starts in two days for god's sake! And here you're talking about taking rest. I clearly told you to go back to the university to clear your mind from all these hassle and you declined it."
Just a few weeks ago we were still at the earthquake shaken region, helping out the people there, he completely ignored anything attached to his personal life, devoting his whole attention to the refugees. If I didn't pester him to the end of his patience he actually could harbour the thought of repeating the whole term with me and that could launch him three years behind his batchmates which was already one year behind them. Since I didn't want that to happen I had to be strict.
"Lian! Not you too! Mom is already furious about it. I want no more scolding. Com'on it's not like I'm going to fail in my papers. I won't, I promise."
He kept nagging me as we made it to the East gate where our carriage was waiting.
Hopping on the comfortable seat inside, I silenced him with a peck on his cheek and his eyes widened, then a shy smile spread through his lips and he turned slightly pink, his doe like eyes scanned everything except me.
I couldn't stop myself from chuckling, as I spoke "that's your reward for the hardworks and also the recharge."
Then I saw his shy smile turned into a smirk as he leaned closer to me, remarking, "now that you've started it, you know very well that only one won't be enough for me."
The carriage started moving forward, its wheels speeding through the night road, so was my heartbeat as his soft lips crashed into mine.