Here I rest, weak and sweating. Ginger scent once again flowed all over my skin, but Darren had me washed in fresh water. One could only dream of savouring sweets on the beach with your family while you play your lyre as time goes by. But that dream was held away from me.
Instead, I was here in the bathroom, dunking my body into the tub of cold water without a candy. My wings were enjoying the water, and I favoured the feeling of comforting cold. Mom and Dad said I couldn't go anywhere until I was clean and ginger-free. Darren was also here to keep me from leaving with a ginger sweat.
"Come on, Doorwell. Get yourself clean so I don't have to be here waiting for you."
"The name's Dorriel...brother..." I teases. But it angers him, which put me back to silence.
"What a creature you are, sister. I am filled with so much glee, you know?" He was complimenting me, but I took it as long as it didn't make him feel terrible.
"Hehe...r-right...thank you for noticing."
It was just me and him here. The hate continues, but the determined cookie hasn't yet crumbled nor soiled in the water. The brother keeps pushing her for this mindless hate, but she is only drawn to the brighter side. No sun for her, but there's something warm about the bath that keeps her strong.
"Do you really think you could just escape it all?"
"Just because the others didn't talk about it, it doesn't mean it never happened."
He was bathing me with a sponge soaked with a weird cream the other Joylings were also using. It makes my cookie skin feel coarse, especially since the soap tastes terrible. But it does make my cookie smell as fragrant as a flower.
Though the ginger scent was off, I still felt a danger behind me with his hands. His face stared at me with grim, waiting for a slice if I said from his eyes. He helped me clean this ginger scent off of me quickly, and we were done as a spring wind with a cold face.
"How terrible. I would've thought of you disintegrating in that watery grave,"
"Your dough should've crumbled by the water..."
"Oh, don't worry! It's just how I was made. I'm a tough cookie now! Not like the old one who gets crumbled so easily..."
"Here. Get yourself something better than that stupid sweater you've been wearing. No one wants to see you like that."
"Okay, let me try...! What would I wear?"
I walked out of the tub as my brother gave me a towel to wipe the soak off of my dough skin. He handed me a cloth to replace the long sweater of the Institute with a human one. It looks like a colourful kind but lacks colour and appears simpler than anything I've worn.
They gave me a white shirt with a purple overall and said it belonged to little Dorriel before her disappearance. They sewed it a bit taller, giving it a skirt instead of pants because they knew Doorwell would love it more than tight pants.
"Hm. Can I have something more? I think I could have something like gloves and boots?"
"You want more? What do you want, Dorriel? Was it not enough?" He was angry at me. Right after I heard this voice, I knew I had to be kind.
"Uhm...I mean, it's enough already!"
I couldn't be a rude angel, right? Everyone was working hard to set Doorwell's first experience as a human. Once I had these human clothes on me, brother immediately grabbed the door shut and stopped me from leaving. Fear returned as it had once been lost after he left.
"What did they do to you? Not even the eyes I remembered, the hair I recalled, nor a skin I kept seeing. Nothing..."
"Nothing about you speaks of Dorriel but a voice. I'm starting to feel like you're not her...are you?"
"No way! I'm really are her! I'm always been her! Look at me, brother! Am I not her?"
The bathroom was too small, with only me and my brother in it. The light is dim, so it's hard to feel comfortable in a place like this. The wall was thick, and if I screamed, it would've been a waste of precious breath. Darren really made it hard for me to think with his hate-filled heart like the humans.
"You—ugh, forget it. Just go..." He unlocks the door and let me leave.
Being spared out of the kindness of a family, Darren stepped aside and let me walk out of this place with some unbroken love. Oh, how I do not forget that feeling of a troubled human. I can't believe he made me desperate on such a day.
Now I'm out in a human attire—pink overall over my white shirt. Overall, how I have never worn this one before. But the white shirt felt less complete to me. But it made me lighter to float, and the humans liked it.
"Hehehe...look at that overall. Told you that thing's still fit on her, Maria."
"Oh, please. I'm the one who think of that, didn't I?"
"Not what I heard while my hands are picking up grubs from the store for our family here."
Too bad it was dusk already, and I lost the chance to bask myself in the sand. Today was not a good day, but I wouldn't let that ruin my new human life. My parents are waiting for me with a surprise, and that's already enough for Doorwell to enjoy the rest of this day. It would be better with cake, too.
"Would you look at this, Darren? We never had this banner hang before since Dorriel wasn't around. You should be proud that we finally did it."
"Do we even need to make the balloon? Couldn't we at least invite someone?"
"Unfortunately, the doctor said we couldn't let anyone knows about her. Terrible public press or something..."
Parents were decorating the room with sets of party tools. Banners hanging on the ceiling, dots on the table, and balloons on the side of the room. But there was no cake, or sweets, or anything feasible for Doorwell. But there were presents.
"Dorriel! Well, look at you, sweetie! Guess who's the good girl that gets her present today?"
"Oh! Oh! Does their name start with...D and end with L? Because I see that name all over the room! Teehee!"
On the table, Doorwell is waiting for her present on the other side, held by her brother with a grimace. Such a sad face, but Doorwell couldn't be saddened now with her family's jolly face. But before she could open this present with her hands free, her family clapped with a birthday cheer and a face of glee.
"Happy birthday to you..."
"Happy birthday to you..."
"Happy birthday, dear Dorriel..."
"Happy birthday to you..."
They made a beautiful song about Doorwell—more like for Dorriel, but who cares? I'm also Dorriel. The humans are singing the song I've never got to hear on my birthday, though with fewer candles and fewer Joylings. But the party? It was livid! I was filled with surprise today! Who could expect that today would be my birthday? Just as the same day I was out, too?
"Oh, it's my birthday? That's amazing! What are the odds that would happen?" I jumped on my chair with excitement, but not as tall as when I had my candies before.
"None, because it's not. We're just celebrating it early." Darren is still wrapping that present for me with a scowl.
"Darren! Are you really trying to ruin your sister's birthday now? Don't listen to him, Dorriel...big brother just couldn't handle the excitement of being close to you..."
"Oh..."
Brother is wrapping up a present for Doorwell—six presents behind the colourful Christmas wrapping. How odd that Doorwell never had a birthday on Christmas, but now she was. Behind those presents could be ornaments or winter wonder. But my brother still hasn't finished yet.
"Come on! Come on! I want to see!" Fingers tapping, hands softly slammed, and body keeps bouncing like a spring coil.
"Be patient, I'll be done once I get this sixth one...ready..."
I find many of these party supplies familiar, and as I looked a little bit closer at the wrapper, I realized that this belonged to Doorwell's special surprise package. From the balloon with a white outline of my face to my face on the wrappers of the present, it was all Doorwell. This is not just a party—it's Doorwell's special party!
"Woah! How did you find all of this? I thought they said all of my merchandise are...what is it called again...discontinued?" My eyes were glimmering.
"Yeah, they are. But some outdoor markets still sell it on the front shelf after the closing of the production. It was expensive, but was bargainable if you made them desperate..." My mother sets up another balloon for me. This one has a flower shape—the bloom balloon product.
"Ooh..."
*Wrapping* "Look how easy was that, Dorriel? Life gets to give you the comfort of doing nothing and people just gave you their money so easily. What's even the value of putting your face on a cheap product?"
"Not like anyone could've bought something better than this."
"Darren, can you stop being too glum at your sister? I'll give you one more warning..." My father pointed a finger at him. He's going to the darkroom!
"No, dad! You don't have to do that. he was just...helping me?" I tried helping him, but everyone was looking awkward at me.
The party began with me opening each present to unpack all of Doorwell's sets of merchandise. I find my face on a lyre—one that I couldn't say was better than mine. But I still like it.
"Ooh..."
"Well, who's to say you couldn't have two? We heard you like playing that thing." My father commented.
"I liked it! I love it!"
The second present was unwrapped, and the second gift was a spring dress from Doorwell's 'Petals Problems' episode, where she had so many flowers attached to her body.
"Oh!"
"Well, whatever that dress is, I think you'll love it. You liked flowers, didn't you?" My mother commented again.
"Liked it? I was born of it!"
I could go for more presents, but I already got tired from unwrapping two gifts. There's so much power to claw the wrappers myself, but at least two of these presents are already on my body now. Well, the lyre could stay here, but the dress could change.
"Aww... too much strength...augh...need to...sleep—Zzz..." I sleep with my head on the table. I could barely hear much but a whisper.
"Aww, look at her. She got tired already..."
"I guess she really didn't need these four presents anymore, then. Sucks to be this tired, too."
"Don't blame her. Withdrawal can be difficult to handle when you're a young kid with little guidance in your life. Let Doorwell recovers herself after. Maybe tomorrow we could bring her to the beach..."
"A beautiful cookie like her deserves it."
—————————————————————————————————
That word of appraisal and admiration reminds me of the first time I was made into a Joyling. It was hazy, and it was white—white all over the walls and ceiling. A little me was out of the tray, wondering who and why am I here. But the only answer I found was the reflection of that beautiful angel my father had called me.
"Hm?"
I was pale, pale as the dough that was just ready to be moulded. I looked like a dehydrated pile of sand, with eyes and mouth dried and wrinkled. I wasn't even afraid of who I was back then. I only disliked the view. I was bald, and I looked so ugly, but I didn't care because I hadn't met with Pristine Pearl herself.
"There you are." Sebastian was behind my back, wearing an apron and a chef hat while holding the tray he used to mould me.
"Hm?" The first time I was out of the tray, I was mute because my mouth dried so much that I couldn't open it.
"Me? Oh, don't mind the stain, cookie. I am but a humble chef here that made a cookie just like you. My name's Sebastian, and I'm here to give you a life of a star."
"Hm?"
The first time I met with Sebastian, he immediately saw a glimpse of hope within me. His apron was stained with strawberry icing and fillings, along with crumbles and dough. I was impressed by his words and baking skills, but I didn't know he wasn't trustworthy. You wouldn't have any idea how evil a man could be with that smile when you were young.
He praises me when I have that raw dough look despite knowing how ugly I am. While I find myself questioning my existence behind the mirror, Sebastian uplifted me with the hope that I am new and somewhat a star to everyone else. Of course, I wouldn't deny that praise from him when he even gave me more than just a compliment.
"You look hungry, my cookie. A hungry cookie like you should eat something..."
"Don't worry. You'll love it."
The first thing he offered to me was a candy wrapped in purple plastic and named "L.O.V.E" written on it. I was hesitant at first, but the scent of ginger and honey was delicate for me. I decided to take a bite as he wanted me to, and I immediately felt a leap of heart from the taste of love. My first temptation with the sweet began here when my dough started to feel content.
"See? You love it. You know you did. That's the dough you were meant to be. Loving."
"Hm?"
He gave me a purpose and told me I was love itself. He told me that love brings me to life and that I was somewhat of a miracle among the cookies he made. Love is what keeps me moving as Doorwell, and love is what originates in my dough. I was so gullible, but I know he was right at some points.
"Do you want more? I could give you more. But you had to do something to earn it."
"Would you?"
"Hm!"
We made a deal. He gave me life and purpose to love and to be loved in exchange for all those candies he offered me. All that Doorwell needed to do was to share love and passion among the humans and to always be the 'love' they needed. It sounds easy, and a dough me took that deal like no tomorrow.
"I should gave you a name. What should I name you?"
In that kitchen, I saw a green wreath placed above the oven, which spoke the name "Doorwell". I reached closer into it and grabbed that wreath from the wall, peeking at that name again because I found the name beautiful.
"Oh, you like the wreath? My niece made that when she was ten during Winter. Doorwell was the name of her favorite cookie..."
"It's the chocolate cookie with a melted honey and ginger on top of it. Then mixed with several chocolate chips and...well? I wouldn't want to call much of the ingredients."
"Old me would rather make them."
Doorwell was a name I found beautiful because it sounded comforting and loving. It's the name that I feel is close to my purpose, and it was also Sebastian's name for a cookie. It felt like I was destined to have that name, and so I took pride in naming myself as one.
"Doorwell? Well, then..."
"Doorwell it is. My beautiful cookie."
It was the day when I found not only a purpose and a name but also the beauty of loving within. The little dough finally finds herself in a place where she belongs with her love and passion for the humans. A belief I am glad not be deluded forever.
—————————————————————————————————
[Bedroom]
I have so much to share with my parents after this. But it was night already, and Doorwell was too tired to be jolly with her parents. So she had to go upstairs and find her new bedroom that was set already before she arrived at this home.
"Ooh...thank you, mom and dad!" I was so tired, but so happy for myself.
I'm in my bedroom, weak but comfortable on a softer pillow and a thicker blanket. My parents tucked me on the bed and sang me a song with my lyre, which they didn't do well but I love their appreciation. But the song does tire me, as what I needed now.
"So, do you enjoy your new home, sweetie?"
"I do! Way better than my old home!"
"Dear, that ain't home you were living there. A real home would let you gone out once a week, did they? Which is why tomorrow, we're going to the beach together!"
"Yeah!" I cheered with all my strength.
"Ep! Ep! That energy is not what we needed today. What we needed now is our Dorriel rested well."
"Oh, yeah..."
As soon as the lyre stops making a tune, I hear my parents' footsteps leaving my room with the lamp goes off. Dark as the night, my bed was also comfy with the love of my parents. I couldn't wait for tomorrow as I embarked on this town as a human.
"Nighty night, Dorry." My father mumbled.
"Goodnight," I mumbled to myself before I let my eyelids sleep.