Chapter 83: A Breath Between Heartbeats
The crisp air of late autumn settled over Hoshikawa City like a sigh, brushing dry leaves across the schoolyard where laughter once echoed. Now, the silence was louder than ever, broken only by the rustle of uniforms and the occasional forced chuckle of classmates pretending everything was fine. But not for Rika Hayato.
She sat alone on the rooftop, her fingers curled tightly around a small note in her hand. It was wrinkled from how often she had unfolded and read it—Naoto's handwriting, awkward and careful, like he wanted to say more but couldn't.
Thank you for being kind to me.
That was all it said. No name. No goodbye. Just a quiet note left in her bag after their group study session three days ago.
Her mind had run in circles since. What did he mean by thank you? Was it a farewell? A confession? A rejection?
Behind her, the door creaked open, and Souta Aizawa stepped into the chilly air. "I figured you'd be here," he said quietly, his hands buried in the pockets of his coat.
She didn't turn around. "Did he ask you to check on me?"
Souta sighed and walked over, sitting a small distance away from her. "No. He hasn't said much to anyone lately."
The silence between them was fragile, like glass—delicate but ready to shatter with the wrong word.
"I hate him," Rika whispered, her voice trembling.
Souta said nothing.
"I hate how he makes me feel like I'm the only one… and then leaves me alone with it. I hate that he's kind even when he's breaking me. I hate—" Her voice cracked, and she pressed the note to her chest. "—that I don't really hate him."
Souta's voice was soft. "It's okay not to hate him."
She looked at him then, and in her eyes was a storm—regret, longing, sorrow. "I just wanted to matter. Even for a moment. Even if it was temporary."
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Naoto's Perspective
Naoto stood in front of the small family clinic, his fingers stiff from the cold. Inside, his mother rested after her most recent treatment. The doctor had said things were stabilizing for now, but that it was too early to be hopeful.
"She wants to see you," said the nurse gently.
Naoto nodded and stepped in, the scent of antiseptic and warm tea filling the room. His mother smiled when she saw him, her face pale but full of warmth.
"You look tired," she said.
He pulled a chair beside her. "I'm fine. Just school."
Her gaze was steady. "And the girl? Rika?"
He looked away. "She's hurting. Because of me."
She reached out and took his hand. "I know you love someone else. But don't forget—people around you hurt when you hide things from them. You don't need to explain yourself to everyone. But be kind. Always be kind."
Naoto thought of Himari—her soft smile, her voice on the phone late at night, the way she said his name like it held all the meanings of the world.
But he also thought of Rika—her fire, her stubbornness, her desperate attempts to reach him even when he was pushing her away.
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Flashback
The first time Himari had said "I love you," it wasn't under the stars or in a romantic movie moment. It was when he had a fever in middle school and she'd skipped cram school to sit by his side.
"I hate seeing you like this," she said, brushing his hair back. "So, get better. I love you. Idiot."
He had laughed, weakly, and whispered, "I love you too."
Back then, love had felt simple.
Now, it was anything but.
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Back to Present
That evening, the friend group met again—just like old times. Or so it seemed.
The living room was filled with snacks, warm lights, and soft music. Aiko and Haruki were bickering over a game, while Souta sat beside Rika, keeping an eye on her like a silent guardian.
Naoto sat on the opposite side of the room. Himari had joined them for the first time in weeks. Her presence was quiet but piercing.
Rika caught Naoto's eyes once—and quickly looked away.
The tension was suffocating.
Finally, Mei broke the silence. "We haven't done this in so long. I missed this."
"Yeah," Aiko agreed, though her eyes kept flicking between Naoto and Rika.
Rika stood up suddenly. "I need some air."
Souta followed her after a moment, his expression unreadable.
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Rooftop - Again
"You should go back inside," Rika said.
Souta leaned on the railing beside her. "You don't have to act like this doesn't hurt."
She smiled bitterly. "But if I don't… I'll fall apart."
"Then fall apart," he said. "You don't have to be strong for anyone here. Not with me."
She looked at him—and for once, let the tears fall.
He pulled her into a quiet hug, the city lights flickering behind them like the fading embers of a once-bright fire.
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Later That Night - Naoto's Room
He stared at his phone.
Himari: Did you tell her?
He typed slowly.
Naoto: No.
Himari: Why?
He stared at the blinking cursor.
Naoto: Because I hate hurting her.
Himari: Naoto… You have to choose. Or you'll lose everything.
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