First day
"Oooh no no no no why did I turn down my boon?" Diogenes said fist pressed against his forehead. "I did not do that, there's no way, I wouldn't."
"Shiiit, did you forget after you ran away and fainted in the hall? Sorry about everything by the way, I know that was a lot all at once, but just stick with me and you'll understand." Said Aidos.
"Oh my … gods, you're here, when did you get here?"
"I've been here the whole time. I followed your idiot manager, Narcissus, when he drove you back."
"How do you even know Narcissus?"
"We go way b-"
"It doesn't matter use your godly powers and give me a boon to fix it like it never happened; That was the fucking like the cumulation of all my hard work fix it!"
"I'm sorry I can't first of all "god" and "boon" are human terms we call ourselves concepts and we can grant you commitments."
"Ok, and Midwesterners call soda, pop it's the same shit just give me a commitment or whatever you called it!"
"I would've if I could, but that's not even how commitments work, I wasn't able to just give you anything. Please can you try not to be ungrateful I can you the last bits I have."
"What are you even talking about? what did you give me?"
"My commitment, that's why you can see the truth now."
"I cannot believe you think that's a gift!"
"Ok I know that parts not much of a gift right now but there are other aspects to my commitments, like you're now able to take the abilities of the monsters and Concepts oh, and the more you sacrifice the stronger those abilities will get so it's not all bad."
"Kill." Yeah, I'm not doing that. I still need to do my work."
"Again, I'm sorry but there is no way you can do that anymore. They'd never allow it after that display you put on."
"Oh, my gods your right why didn't I realize that right when I finally made it to fuck!"
"Look on the bright side, though it's like this when I gave up my concept hood, Wisdom told me, In order to scale the next mountain, you must first venture down the one you're already on."
"You gave up your godhood! I'm not doing anything like that or whatever "sacrificing" you were talking about. Diogenes completely denied Aidos.
A month and a half later
Diogenes paced back and forth in his room occasionally trashing against the walls as if he was trying to keep them from collapsing in on him.
"Why the hell did you give me this "commitment" I'm fucked I have nothing to live for anymore I don't have shit!" Diogenes screamed at Aidos, his voice shaking in anger
"To be honest, I've been watching them for a long time,e and when I saw someone deny their 'boons" for the first time, I jumped the gun and immediately formed a commitment with you," Aidos stated in her typical overly blunt style.
"Again, I didn't even do anything, I was just mad, I still want that boon! I am so sick of people pitying me by giving me shit I haven't earned, and you know what at least Mitas Knows he's a dick you think you're being nice; pity is just judgment people praise themselves for!"
"Hey, man, I'd never look down on you. All people are equal. I'd give them all commitments if I could. But hey, if you want something to work towards again, you can help me and everyone who lives in Athenia by defeating Nyarlathotep. Oh, he's the one who killed the other concepts from my home Grekromia."
"Damnit, Is that my only option now. I'll think about it" Diogenes stopped mid-beating off his wall.
"Thank you so much, hey off topic but do you think you're so insecure cause they gave you Stew as a stage name?"
"Fuck you"
Two months later
"Ok, I figured out what I'm gonna do, I'll help you get rid of Mitas since he's the one who has a problem with me." Diogenes compromised
"Thank you, really, but once Mitas is gone, I'll ask you to help again."
"Ha, maybe if you paid me."
"I don't have any money, but I have a "Good job" sticker I can give you."
"Hmph, ok yeaah sure I'll kill a god for that."
Does he think I'm joking? Nah, I didn't use my sarcastic tone. Adias questioned briefly.
"Well, since you're going to help now, you should know who your allies and enemies are I'll start by telling you about the leader of the group you'll assemble."
"Trust me, I'm very familiar with myself."
"Her name is Robin Hood."
—————-
ROBIN HOODS ORIGINS
Twelve men huddled around a stone with something vaguely resembling a sword protruding from the top as they waved to a college-age woman to join them. "Robin come help us!"
"Aren't you all tired of wasting your time? We've all tried pulling on that stupid thing before." Robin laughed dismissively as he joined them.
"Cmon you aren't quitting on us now, are you? We have to make a change somehow, we need a savior to pull the sword, only then will Locksley's god of justice listen to us." A bulky man asked hurt by Robins mocking.
"Relax Andre I'm not saying six eyes isn't a problem but wanking this rock makes you just as stupid as his believers. You know the other ladies have started talking, they think it's a phallic thing."
"What does phallic mean?" Andre asked
"To be honest, they think it's some weird sex thing."
"What, even Shelly!"
"I mean yeah not that really matters she's married man you missed your chance a long time ago."
"It's not my fault, none of the flower salesmen in this stupid town were good enough, maybe if we lived in the city, it would've worked out!"
"Uh huh, that's totally the issue; hey, does her husband live in the city?"
"No. But if he di,d Shelly and I would totally be a thing."
Before Robin could continue her mockery, a red-headed man with the most bullish muttonchops strutted up to them, hands in his pockets knees wide like he was roleplaying a cowboy.
"Hey! Can y'all just stop it already?" The redheaded man called out as he walked up.
"Oh, if it isn't Six Eyes's biggest fanboy." Robin grinned
"I'm not a 'fanboy, ' I'm just smart enough to understand checks and balances."
"You're kidding, right? Even you're not stupid enough to actually believe that! His only "checks and balances are his heads."
"Hey, the man that's ignor'int, we don't know they're the same god.
"I am so sick of this conversation, I'm pretty sure our grandparents had the same conversation! Even if their different gods their interests align."
"You're just being clinical."
"Cynical, and you'd know that if he'd stop slashing the education budget."
Hey! He's funding self-education, and you'd know that if you'd attend a town hall for once in your life!" He said with his finger stuck in Robin's face.
"Fine. C'mon, guys, let's go to the circus."
"All the men shifted uncomfortably before Andre squeaked out, "Sorry Robi,n we'd come but we really outta try pulling the sword out some more. Tommy" Andre gestured to the shortest of them. 'Can you take this pamphlet and recruit more pullers? '
Tommy grabbed the pamphlet before striding off, self-satisfied.
"I don't know why I talk to you. C'mon, sheriff, let's go."
The walk to the town hall was quiet, say for the snide remarks exchanged between Robin and the Sheriff. It was a calm week in town, everyone was recovering from the heated "debates" the week before by either secluding themselves selves to their rooms and screens or a few bought refuges in the hospital. The silence of their stroll was broken when they reached the town hall, which had a clock tower lazily glued to the top leaning counterclockwise, gravity forcing the clock hands to lag.
Once inside they were greeted with the familiar sight of six rows divided in the middle the right were adorned in the red cloak, they always wore strangely the left also joined in this color palette. The only thing preventing them from blending together was a thin walkway that led up to a pale muscular god with three arms with matching heads. His only clothing was a brown loincloth, and a wig made of white goat fur spread across his three heads.
Robin and the Sheriff divided themselves, Robin to the left of the room and the sheriff to the right.
"Psst, why are you all dressed like the others?" Robin whispered
"We're protesting this is pink, not red, now please shut up and be respectful!" Said one of the cloaked men as the men on the right cracked open beers in excitement for the meeting.
"Attention first on the docket is to create the docket." Six-eyed calmly declared while placing tiny glasses on his middle head.
"Yes, honored one, I have a few suggestions if I may." Spoke one of the cloaked men
"Don't get ahead of yourself, we can't work on the docket until we've completed it."
Without question, all the robed men turned around to leave, bumping shoulders with Robin on their way out.
"Come with us, you must have faith in the system." Said the robed men to a stunned Robin
"No, we need to press him on this or nothing will ever cha-"
Suddenly a loud fart belched throughout the Town Hall blowing up the god's loin cloth and knocking off his wig. The sudden loud noise stopped all the cloaked men in their tracks before anyone could reach the door.
"Did the god just fart?" The cloaked men murmured
"No, he did not; we've conducted a long and thorough investigation and concluded it was someone on the left side of the room, and claiming otherwise is an insult to our justice system and by proxy our nation." Stated the god's side heads.
"Yeah, yeah, he's right, I heard it come from the left." One cloaked man piped up before another yelled "Damn rude farting idiots!"
Unexpectedly before even Robin could speak up their Sheriff's gruff voice cut through the crowd "Goddamn't what are we talking about who cares!" Before he strutted over to join Robin.
The tone of the room evolved after these two who were fundamentally opposed stood with each other, others followed their example mingling with each other hesitantly discussing the problems with their town amongst themselves and questioning the purpose of the god.
"Hey, we're gonna stay and talk out the problems, are you in or out?" Robin pressed the God
Calmly, the God took off his glasses.
"If that's how you all truly feel, then fine, discuss. In fact, since we have a vast many things to discuss, I will slow the time in the town hall till we can all reach a consensus without having to waste any of our real time."
Thankful they all got to discuss important topics in their town, occasionally arguments would break out ultimately though they were squashed by the group consensus to keep things civil. After ten hours they settled in and took off their cloaks some even went to leave due to them being tired or missing their family. Only to find the door was locked.
"No, you can't, we haven't finished. Everyone needs to be in agreement on everything, and then you all can leave. Oh, and I forgot to mention I did everyone the favor of speeding up the rest of the town's time so they can see you sooner." Suddenly speaking in unison
Everyone protested, saying that it would take an eternity.
"Then, may I suggest that you cull your numbers? Only then will this fever you all have break."
"What are you talking about?!" Robin shouted at the god
"My apologies, you are right, it would be barbaric if you all fought to the death… unarmed."
With a snap of each of his hands, dull daggers appeared in everyone's hands. Before Robin could even register the situation, she was in, blood was being whipped across her face. When she turned to see where it had come from, she was greeted by the sight of a man struggling to pull his knife out of the side of his friend's throat before getting his skull bashed in by the hilt of a knife. The knives were still in him. Where did that blood come from? Either luck or instinct, Robin stepped back narrowly, dodging a swipe from a knife of a person who immediately after slipped on his cloak and stabbed himself. With her back pressed up against a wall, Robin felt safe enough to scan her environment, still, it was too hectic for her to figure out what was happening entirely. Something red flew into her peripheral hitting her in the right shoulder, but it was different this time it wasn't a splash but a thud. Her head ticked to the right, and her eyes widened as she saw the Sheriff's head pressed against her shoulder with a knife lodged in his ear. Startled, she leaped to the side, letting him fall to the ground. Shit! Sheriff Errol, I'm so sorry why'd this happen?
Without thought Robin scream out in a raspy voice "Stop it we don't have to do this to each other let's kill that fucking god!"
Suddenly, everyone stopped fighting. "Thank you now let's fucking get him."
"Where'd she get that bow?"
Now, what are they talking about? she thought before looking down at her left hand, suddenly holding a golden bow. They're gonna throw a knife at me from the left. Robin ducked the incoming knife, letting it stab an attacker from her right. How'd I know that was gonna happen? she thought as she flowed through the fight, stabbing and elbowing when needed until eventually it was just her and one other person.
"We don't have to do this, it's just us left, all we have to do is agree." She pleaded
Unfazed by her pleading, the man huffed forward, out of breath, pulling his knife up and preparing to strike.
He'll attack to the left. She dodged to the right, elbowed down onto his striking arm, and grabbed his knife all with her right, then she crossed over with her left and, using his momentum grabbed the back of his head pulling it into the newly stolen knife. His now-dead body fell to his knees before flopping onto his side. Robin didn't have long to catch her breath before God started clapping with all his hands.
"Congrats, you may leave now."
The doors swung open, tingling Robin's back with the sun's rays.
"No."
"What are you going to do? I don't see any arrows with that bow?"
Silently, Robin fiddled with something behind her back before quickly drawing her bow, she had been cutting a groove into her original knife with one she stole. The god didn't bother to move as the knife came soaring towards him. Right when the blade's tip met his chest, it transformed into an arrow and cut into him.
"What the hell! How did you get a bow? Who do you have a commitment to?"
Commitment? He's going to try and break the lights, why?
Nyarlathotep. A voice spoke to her.
Still not knowing what this meant, Robin decided it was best to stop the God. Shooting an arrow from her newly formed quiver, she manages to pin the God's hand to the ceiling.
The god bleached out in pain.
I need to finish this now or I'm going To die. Without hesitation, she fired the finishing blow into the center head, killing the god.
Robin dropped to her knees, exhausted, gasping for breath like a swimmer who just broke from the water. Her quiver and bow disappeared while she caught her breath. Once she was ready to get up, her bow reappeared, allowing her to lean against it as she pulled herself up. Oh god, how much time has passed?
After limping out of the building using her bow as a walking stick, she saw the town hall's clock tower had crashed next to the doorway, rot growing from where it broke. Walking down the town streets, it was dead quiet, granting Robin time to dissect what had just transpired, time for her to recall how everything got out of hand, she knew it was almost funny, but the answer eluded her that gap in her memory enthralled until she made it to the sword stone. Around it, there were only eleven unmarked graves, none of them short enough to be Tommy; another, however, was so large it could only be Andre. That grave was the only one to have a gift left on it, cheap wilted roses that had their stems cracked in half like they needed to be made smaller to hide them from a spouse.
"Oh, you idiots, why did one of you have to die before the other got flowers?"
"Dignify him with a tombstone, do the same with Sheriff Erroll. I learned long ago that disregarding the individual makes nuance the first thing forgotten by history. The strange voice told her.
"Ok," Robin obliged without question.