So, after leaving the X-Mansion, the question was—where the hell should I actually go? Check in on the X-Men and see how poor Jean is holding up, probably still weeping into her pillow over the chaos I left behind? Swing by and surprise Viper, who I haven't seen in ages and probably thinks I ghosted her? Or maybe drop in on Fury just to mess with the bald bastard and give his blood pressure another reason to spike?
None of the above. Instead, I went somewhere I never thought I'd miss after a year of living there: Hel. Home sweet, absolutely cursed home.
Now, there are a few 'technical' reasons for my return. Minor ones, like making sure my body wasn't stolen.
Also, a quick scan of the realm to see if anything's changed—though honestly, Hel shifting its vibe would be like Satan redecorating with Ikea furniture. And of course, prepping the place for...guests. You know, the territory creation.
But let's be real—those are just the excuses I tell myself so I can feel productive.
The real reason I came back? To get back into my own body, claim my shiny system rewards, and sketch out my master plan for the future. Not that I ever follow those plans. I'm more of a 'wing it dramatically at the last second' kind of goddess. Improvisation is my superpower.
Still, planning is technically better than not planning.
So after teleporting back, I exited Jean's body and took a moment to examine the change. Her body was reverting to normal, though my presence had clearly left a mark.
Her hair was still darker than usual—like a moody teen going through a goth phase, but not full-on 'listens to My Chemical Romance at 3 AM' dark.
Then I returned to my own body—and holy hell, it was like slipping into a hot bath after a week of wearing someone else's skin.
No resistance, no pushback, just pure, delicious alignment. I was home. In my flesh. In my power. In my damn element.
Of course, I lost most of the powers I'd been enjoying while joyriding in Jean's Omega-level meat suit. Tragic, really. But not a total wipe.
I managed to lift Rocky, my loyal hellhound companion, who'd been all alone while I was off galivanting. A little telekinesis goes a long way when your 'dog' weighs more than a small car.
In the end, most of Jean's powers came down to sheer spiritual force—something I now have a taste for. I can't reach her level, not in this body, but I'd say I retained about one-fifth of what I had while using hers.
Better than nothing. Still, it's a little humiliating knowing that a 5,000+ year-old goddess of death got outclassed in spiritual mojo by a traumatized teenage mutant with issues and future firebird problems.
Not that I'm bitter. I've still got my body, my magic, and a system. All I really need is to get my hands on the Mind Stone—or draw a stupidly broken reward from the system—and I'll blow past Jean's peak like she was a stepping stone in my villain arc.
Speaking of rewards… I glanced at the list of unclaimed goodies waiting for me in the system—and I swear, if my smile had gotten any wider, I'd have split my face in half.
First things first—I went straight for what I considered the best reward. Sure, it might seem useless to most people, but in my humble and obviously superior opinion, once you really master it, you'd need the One Above All himself to even try stopping you.
[Day Three Hundred Seventy: Reward – Omnilingual Translation]
This is Cypher's mutant ability—the guy who could understand and translate any language on the fly. Spoken, written, signed, snarled, clicked, buzzed, beeped—you name it, he got it.
Honestly, this shit is broken. Not 'overpowered' in the punchy, explodey way, but in the insidious, reality-bending way that makes you look at words and go, 'Oh, you mean I can command the laws of the universe just by talking nicely to them?'
Cypher was the only one who could have a casual chat with the living island Krakoa, for crying out loud. A sentient island.
He even understood ancient alien tongues like Shi'ar, Brood, and Kree, and once pulled off real-time diplomacy with a bunch of pissed-off space roaches through nothing but wingbeats and aggressive chittering.
But here's the kicker—what if you go beyond normal language? What if you start understanding concepts?
I'm talking abstract, untouchable things: Luck. Freedom. Life. Time. Morality. What happens when you can speak to them?
Maybe sweet-talk the Multiverse into handing over the keys, or at least putting you in the VIP lounge right next to the OAA. Not quite a god, but probably the bastard neighbor he keeps avoiding.
With this power, I will even decipher runes, unlock their functions, and eventually bust myself out of any seal or trap.
Hell, I would ascend to Odin-tier if I play my cards right—and let's be honest, I'm way better with people than he is. I actually understand human emotions. Mostly. Occasionally. Whatever, close enough.
This is why I asked the Ancient One for those dusty, forbidden tomes. And it wasn't the only reward worth mentioning. Some of them are so ridiculous they loop back around to being awesome.
[Day Three Hundred Sixty-Nine: Reward – Geppo]
Also known as Moonwalk from One Piece. Yeah, that flashy footwork that lets you step on air like gravity's just a suggestion.
Completely impractical in a place full of cosmic being and others nonsense, but God does it look cool. Got it three days into being on Earth.
Honestly, I might've asked for it just to walk away dramatically mid-conversation by hopping into the sky like some anime protagonist having an existential crisis.
[Day Three Hundred Seventy-One: Reward – Frasier Crane's Wine Collection]
The man had taste. Plus, it gives me something for the guests before I find proper divine liquor.
[Day Three Hundred Seventy-Nine: Reward – P. Diddy's Signed Album]
Don't ask. I don't know either. Might use it as a frisbee for Cerberus or a threat in negotiations—'Give me the artifact or I'll play this on loop.'
[Day Three Hundred Eighty-One: Reward – Devil Fruit Into Non-Living Object]
Imagine feeding a banana a Zoan-type and having it run around your kitchen screaming in confusion. Practical? Maybe not. Entertaining? Absolutely.
[Day Three Hundred Eighty-Five: Reward – Animal Summoning Ticket (By Choice)]
Still debating between summoning a cartoon animal like Tom or a very aggressive goose with the eyes of a serial killer.
[Day Three Hundred Eighty-Eight: Reward – Archive Magic (Fairy Tail)]
Now this is a good one. I'll be turning it into a cross-dimensional communication network. Think Chat Group trope from all those trashy—but addictive—fanfics I read in my past life.
I'll stay connected to Hel, my followers, allies, and probably my enemies if they figure out how to hack the system. Of course, some tinkering will be required. And a firewall. Probably several.
[Day Three Hundred Ninety: Reward – Balmung (Type-Moon)]
A legendary sword. The kind that screams 'I'm important!' every time you draw it. Might use it as a backscratcher until the final boss shows up or just to piss off Odin.
It's honestly wild to think it's been over three weeks since I left this place. Feels like a few hours at most. But well, it's not strange when you can live thousands of years casually.
Weird albums aside, I've stacked up some genuinely powerful and hilariously absurd loot. And hey, even if it all goes sideways, at least I'll be able to complain about it fluently—in every language known to man, beast, or cosmic entity.
....
Hela in Jean's body (paragraph comment)
What would you like an illustration for next (only concerning the fic)
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