Machine
This is truly irksome. It's irrational not to eat this body.
I understand not wanting to kill one's fellow man, but a body is no longer a person. It is merely meat that is shaped like one.
Damn it why do I feel so frustrated.
Inadequacy and weakness. They slash deep within me, a painful, novel sensation.
Yes, I feel that I have been weakened by this revulsion. Weakness can not be tolerated, not by me.
I should… Just eat the corpse.
I stepped forward and lifted the body up, the creature held his cheerful demeanour as my metallic jaw opened wide and the rows of sharp teeth and grinding motors were revealed once more beneath the crimson glow of the scowling sky.
I don't want to eat this but that won't matter.
I CAN'T let myself be held down by such trivial sensations.
Why can't I let myself get held down?
Why do I feel weak? Why does this feeling frustrate me?
Pride… yes, I have inherited it.
I was to feel nothing, none of it ever had meaning. Perhaps that was a lie, before I could choose, I had chosen to wander. Is this pride my own, is it the beast's?
I might as well feel the good sensations as much as possible.
Yet, the bad ones are in conflict with them. If I eat this corpse, if I don't…
Why?
I couldn't bring my teeth down.
I lowered the body.
The creature didn't seem angered; it just nodded before grabbing the remains and consuming them like it had the torso.
These feelings are real and despite being irksome in nature there is nothing I can do about them. Still no matter how bothersome they may be, I feel like I need to keep on gaining them. They combat this growing need, this aching chasm of my new awareness. They give me pause.
The hollow unpleasant feeling of this chasm within is far more troubling than this simple annoyance. I must learn to process these feelings efficiently, else I will…
"I take it you are not one of ours. No matter—you are still a guest here. Do as you like," it spoke with the same impossibly normal and far too content voice. It reminded me of a drunkard talking with an old chum.
It was truly a monster. However, this was no mere animal. Not only could it speak, but the way it moved and the bizarre material of its teeth and nails indicated supernatural influence, as did its immense size, slightly greater than black beast, physically it looked even more powerful. Likely, it was a sinner and perhaps a blessed one, like the aforementioned Black beast.
Its facial features were monstrous in totality, but something about their spacing and positioning seemed human. Yes, it was once human.
I concluded. "You are a sinner, yes?"
"Yes, I am. Lucky for me and my comrades, we were granted the aid of the Hungering One." It sat atop the rubble of the human settlement it had likely annihilated, crunching on the arm of another human. Likely the one he had killed before feasting on the boy.
Seeing its nonchalance toward its violence, What is this? ... It angered me.
Recentre yourself, feel not the heat of battle nor the cold of vacuum. Let your voice speak, do so with words and not the bellow of a gun.
I needed to know more. So, I pushed down my feelings and asked. "The Hungering One? Tell me more," I said, my tone remaining neutral. My index finger twitched ever so slightly.
"You will have learned that we sinners have our capacity for joy, pleasure, and satisfaction greatly diminished. We, children of hunger, were granted the joy of consumption we had once lost. It has been returned to us a hundredfold." It ripped its snout from the limb, dish plate-sized eyes scanning briefly over my wings.
It paused, licking gore from its fingers and sucking each one with a look of delight that bordered on ecstasy. My fingers curled into my palm, the thumb wobbling its way towards my clenching hand. "Oh, how rude of me… The Hungering One is a deity who is with all who desire more."
"Elaborate," I spoke, my tone still neutral, my hand now a fist. The bat-like creature was too focused on licking away every last droplet of blood to notice my…
Rising fury.
"When you smoke, for example, the pleasure gained becomes harder to reach as you grow accustomed to it. Then you need more and more. There is no form of indulgence which doesn't follow this rule." It snapped its fingers, the massive digits wringing out with the sound of a baseball bat crushing a cinder block.
My wings strained against my back, eager to spread out. "Explain yourself, what is The Hungering One?"
It paused, turning away fully from its gore stained fur. "Yes, it can be thought of as the body building resistance to things. Unfortunately, this process leaves every single soul in the universe in a constant state of dissatisfaction."
My other hand clenched fully, the fingers locked against one another with a resounding CLACK. "What is it, you… wish to say?"
Something possessed it, its large frame curling into a dreadful C as it loomed over me. Its grey tongue licked over its fangs. It extended a finger towards my chest. It regarded my confusion with a grin that looked like it stretched all the way to the back of its head. "Ahhh, there it is. Automaton, you hunger for knowledge and…" It sniffed at the air around me, its lips curling even farther, the pointed ears atop its head pulling backwards in tandem with its eyelids. "Is it substance, purpose, I can't tell you. Either way, to put it simply…
I cut him off, my vox roared out hard enough to rattle the ground around me. "I have no time for these theatrics. I beseech thee. Answer. Me. Now."
Its ears pulled down flat against its skull. It shook its head slowly, a low growl forming between its lips. For a moment, I thought it would attack. Instead, it returned a look of shame. My clenched fists relaxed at the unusual response. It spoke, its grandiose declarations now castigated and hushed. "The Hungering One, it is that space between one's first experience of something, and one's most recent indulgence."
I did not respond, it sighed, taking my silence as a sign to continue. "You want to know more things, don't you? That's a simple way to look at The Hungering One."
"There is more to it?" It quickly nodded at my observation, a streak of its previous excitement leaking back into its grotesque visage.
"Ay, there is much more." Its smile returned, subdued, yet still impossibly wide. "The Hungering One is no God of desire. It is the god of acclimatisation. Actually, it is more accurate to refer to it as the pursuit of happiness. The reason each bite is less pleasing than the last, the reason why each high is harder to climb. It has done much for me, and my brethren. It not only freed us from our torment, it also freed us from the very concept of tolerance. You see, automaton, The Hungering One desires nothing more than the experiences of mortals. It taxes us, it takes a cut from every experience so it too may indulge."
"Why follow such a being?" I asked, my foot began to tap against the cement.
Without dithering, it responded. "You aren't listening. We are its chosen, we are exempt from the constant need for more, each one of us has starved for so long, and, through its kindness, each bite we take, each time we feast, we are satisfied in ways you can seldom comprehend."
A small fire within me, an ardent flame within my flesh-metal frame. It asked, with bale, with autophagic desperation.
Should I kill him?
It would be possible. Difficult with my lack of fuel, however, rendered simple by the element of surprise. If I could just…
It straightened its back and spoke with gratitude, the certainty in its words blanketing my thoughts. "It knows unquenchable thirst and untameable hunger, so it knows ours. Its empathy moved it to bless us."
Its joy bordered on manic fervour. "It gifted us bodies of great power. All it demands is that we seek joy in its name."
It chuckled, with ravenous excitement, it declared. "You could present a sinner the most divine of dishes and the sweetest of wines, and it wouldn't lift their spirits. With the gift granted to us, children of hunger, even this raw, uncooked carcass is ambrosia."
A rueful light followed its next statement. "The warring Istha's children drove us back. Their prophet's sorcerous arts are well suited to battle. They have migrated away from the fortress of Ganzeer and the holy city's forces have chased them down."
Its arms spread wide, its winged cloak casting a great arched shadow over my ablative plating. "No longer will we wait. Now we march toward the holy city... There is little life in these border lands and thus little meat to sate us. In the holy land lies our banquet. We will revel in that feast with gusto."
Translucent saliva fell to the ground, deep throaty breaths failed to conceal a hunger that I have never before seen in any being. It pointed out into the desert with a long-clawed arm, gesturing towards an incomprehensibly large tower, the tip of which was swallowed by the swirling winds of an ancient storm.
I knew this from fragments of the black beast's memory.
The Holy City.
the vestiges of humanity and the home of its desolate god king.
Once again, fire burned within me.
I had no reason to care for the slaughter it promised, yet because of those perspectives… Or because of my weakness. The thought of killing it was strangely tantalizing. The thought of preventing the carnage even more so.
Yet, there was another feeling, one I knew came from the black beast: the anticipation of the battle this powerful foe would give me raised the torch and revealed the answer.
I would strike it down...…
....I was losing myself.
No, I never was a self before so I am losing nothing.
I am losing something…
But I am gaining so much more.
I will strike it down.
P A I N T T H E C I T Y RED
Activating combat mo—
But, before I could attack.
I heard a burst of gunfire rip through the air not too far from us. The Bat creature flickered one ear towards the sound and twisted its face in annoyance. "The enemy is at the gate, friend. I will be back shortly." It patted my back with a paw that dwarfed that of any bear. It solemnly smiled before turning towards the staccato rhythm of far of machine guns.
It sighed, "that damned god-king and his all-seeing eye." Its tone was laced with irritation rather than caution. Let's hope that arrogance leads to its swift termination.