Chapter 32: Penance
Alexander sighed tiredly as he rested against the icy walls of the cave that him and Arbus had sought shelter in.
Over an hour had passed, since Arbus had dealt with the giant puppy that had pursued them through the frozen ravine.
The two of them had thought about quitting the mission at one point, after how things had gone awry, but ultimately decided against it. Whether there was an accident or not wouldn't matter at the end. Stopping now only meant failing their final exam, which would render the last few months of brutal training almost meaningless.
They had decided to rest for now, to avoid running into more of those giant puppies who were still running around, hunting each and every one of them.
Alexander was still lost in thought about Arbus's ability.
After he had officially joined the Renegades a few months ago, His brother, Bastain had sent him another message explaining why Arbus had been allowed to become a knight. For some reason, he left out the fact that Arbus had an ability, which made Alexander quite furious.
Bastain had told him that Arbus was the one responsible for killing the Reincarnator that massacred the citizens of Terytl-b. Alexander had found that news extremely hard to believe after watching Arbus for the last few months.
Arbus was most definitely strong. In fact, Alexander wasn't sure if either him or Jet could beat him in a straight up battle. While both of them had been given better training than him at one point or another, he didn't think it would matter in the end. That was because Arbus possessed something they lacked: real battle experience.
That was only natural since Arbus had been a sentry for over nine months while the two of them were allowed to simply skip that tedious process, to Alexander's displeasure.
Even with all that, he still couldn't understand how Arbus, someone only marginally stronger than him, could defeat a Reincarnator without a Heart shard.
Now he did. Arbus's partial immortality wasn't something Alexander would have ever anticipated. It didn't mean that much right now due to the "Negation" that every high level Renegade had, but it opened up multiple possibilities for the future. Alexander understood his brother's thought process well enough to speculate about some of his plans for Arbus.
"Still... That's so broken" He murmured to himself in amazement.
Suddenly, he frowned as a realization dawned on him.
"Is that why?" Alexander asked, his voice cutting through the silence.
Arbus, who was sitting beside him turned towards him with a raised eyebrow.
"Why what?" He asked, puzzled.
Alexander considered his words carefully before continuing.
"Is your ability the reason you're the way you are?"
Arbus continued staring blankly at Alexander.
"What are you talking about exactly?"
Alexander's frown deepened. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. For months, I've watched you take beating after beating from Jet, Rin, and the others without so much as a complaint. You act like you don't care about anything." His voice hardened. "Was it because you could simply regenerate afterward? You let them get away with all of that because the pain wouldn't last that long anyway?"
Arbus remained silent for a few moments, his expression unreadable.
"Yes, I suppose it is. Why are you bringing this up now, exactly? I think we have bigger things to focus on"
"I disagree" Alexander said simply.
"Did you know? That Jet and the others were planning to kill you today."
Arbus's eyes widened momentarily before he regained his composure. "Seriously? wow, I had no idea. Although I did have a sneaking suspicion that they were planning something." A humorless chuckle escaped his lips. "The looks on their faces when they failed would have been hilarious to see."
Alexander studied him intently.
"It seems like you don't value your life all that much. I wonder what could have possibly happened to make you like that."
Arbus clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"Oi, What are you talking about? I can't die, remember? How do their terrible plans and constant harassment affect me exactly? In the end, it would have accomplished nothing."
He paused, his expression growing softer. "If that's their way of coping, then I can't blame them, can I? I don't have any right to."
"Is that what this is about?" Alexander asked incredulously. "You're letting them do it because you believe you deserve it? Because you're related to a Reincarnator?"
Arbus's expression turned somber.
"No, I believe I deserve it because I do. It's my punishment, my penance." His voice dropped. "And it's not just about me being related to a Reincarnator... it's about the sins I've committed myself."
His gaze drifted toward the cave entrance, where the endless snowstorm raged. He sighed deeply. "The sins I can't bear to live with, and yet, at the same time, I can't die because of just yet."
"...and what exactly would those sins be?" Alexander asked cautiously.
Arbus drew in a deep breath. He thought long and hard about what he wanted to do next. His ability had already been exposed, so he honestly didn't see any reason to keep this a secret from Alexander. Bastain had never forbidden him from talking about it either. He just never did because it was too painful to bring up. He could also sense that Alexander wasn't going to simply let this matter go.
Arbus hesitated for a few more seconds, then spoke suddenly.
"Fine then, I'll tell you"
"....I'll tell you about my best friend, Arora."