The video Chat will be reacting to is "Select Your Partner" by PlagueOfGripes on youtube. This is an omake I made as a reward for my Questionable Questing thread when it reached 69 pages. It's an omake, so it is not as heavy in the descriptions compared to a normal chapter, but regardless, Enjoy the trauma :)
Warning: Chapter depicts chat reaction to a traumatizing pokephillia video on youtube. Contains no actual sex scenes, but it is traumatizing. You have been warned.
Earth 2019
In another world line, one where Lev Lainur managed to kill himself before Flauros took him over, the Grand Order never happened.
In this world, Ritsuka Fujimaru was never kidnapped on that fateful day and would continue to live his peaceful life until he graduated from university and landed a decent paying job as an entry level IT tech in Silicon Valley.
He still streamed with chat, and he continued to showcase his world to them, but he had to move back in with his parents while he worked his way up the company he was working at and to save money so he could buy his own home.
"Ritsuka!! I need your help with something!! Can you come help me?!"
Ritsuka took off his headphones and responded, "Ok mom!! I'm on my way!!" He turned back to chat and gave an apologetic smile, "Sorry guys, I'll be right back."
[Ok. See ya in a bit. ]
[PerfectlySaneHex: Say hi to mother-in-law for me Gudao!! ]
Ritsuka left, leaving chat alone with a youtube video playing. A minute passed, and the video about baby ducklings came to an end.
[Welp, video over. Time to go afk. ]
[Wait. Autoplay is on. ]
The next video on queue was one that had the video thumbnail with a singular pokeball in the foreground and a black background.
[Select your Partner? ]
[A pokemon video perhaps?]
[Cool! It's been a while since our last Pokémon video!! ]
[Uh... won't Gudao get in trouble for showing this video? ]
[Horses-R-Lame: meh, I'll allow it, but I'll have to add the 18+ tag on the title screen. Just in case it's something not TOS compliant. And if it does accidentally doxx someone, I think it can be forgiven. ]
[Tyty]
Autoplay kicked in. The video began to play to the tune of the classical Pokémon professor ost.
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"Hello there! Welcome to the world of Pokemon."
"My name is Professor Harkness, this world is inhabited by mysterious (and sexy creatures) called pokemon. "
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[What. ] x 1,000
[I've never heard of Professor Harkness before. I guess that means this video might be ok to watch without doxxing anyone…. Wait, what did he just say?!!]
[I'm sorry... come again? I don't think I heard that part correctly. ]
[He called pokemon... sexy ]
[Uh oh. ]
[SomeGuy69: That Lopunny looking so fine. (♡﹃♡) ]
[@SomeGuy69 :huh cat emoticon:] x1,000
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"What?"
___________________________________________________________
[My thoughts exactly! ]
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"Pokémon have mysterious powers, (over my dick.)"
"They come in many (pleasing) shapes."
___________________________________________________________
[Mighty1Oak: My word. This deplorable man is giving me the heebie-jeebies!! ]
[Uhh ]
[I don't like where this is going…. ]
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The guy give a look of confusion and disgust towards the professor, "Ummm. "
"We humans live happily with pokemon. "
"Living and working (and other things) together. We naturally compliment each other. "
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[No! Not other things!! Pokemon are friends!! Not... not… (⸝⸝x ☐ x⸝⸝) ]
[IAmHarrison: Blazikens don't look like that... ]
[That poor pikachu referee looks so weirded out. ]
[Oh no, I just noticed that's a female pikachu. D: ]
[If the way this video is headed is any indication, that is NOT a good sign. ]
[That's a bad touch!! ]
[Wow, I just got the joke! The trainer and Blaziken wrestling is a euphemism for sex! ]
[Noooo, really?! I didn't get that at all. You are sooo smart. ]
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Suddenly, Professor Harkness gets in really close to the guy's personal space.
The guy is weirded out and moved away in discomfort, "I see that you're a boy."
"Uhhh..."
"Got some good news for you, you little bastard.... "
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[Oh Arc, run boy RUN!! ]
[Arcueido-Meido: Did someone call for me? ]
[No! Not you Arc! Actually, nvm, get out of here too while you still can!! ]
[Arcueido-Meido: ??? ]
[Stranger danger! Stranger danger!! ]
[The poor dude is just there to get his starter pokemon and start his pokemon journey!!! It's a SACRED RITE, HOW DARE YOU RUIN IT BY MAKING IT WEIRD!!! ]
[Dude! why you gotta namecall him? So unprofessional! ]
[Isn't there a running joke in Gudao's world that pokemon protagonists have absentee fathers? ]
[That's fucked up. ]
[Gudao!! Come back!!! Please stop this video!! ]
[Gudao!! ] x1000
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"As is tradition, when a young man reaches maturity, he goes out into the world to expand his horizons and experiment with the help of his first pokemon."
The professor throws a pokeball, which releases a highly sexualized version of Delphox.
"Before returning home and getting married or whatever."
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[Arcueido-Meido: *Sees the over sexualized Delphox* O.O ]
[ :Jonathan Joestar HolySHIT emote: ]x1,000
[TopBreeder789: Alright.... ngl, that Delphox looks breedable af. (＾་།＾) ]
[Wtf?!! Dude!! Gross!! ]
[My Braixen is watching stream with me rn. She got real quiet all of a sudden when she saw that freaky looking Delphox on screen. ]
[Maybe they are just really good friends? ]
[That look they shared is NOT a look friends give each other. ]
[I find his attitude towards marriage problematic. ]
[Well I find his attitude, IN GENERAL, problematic. ]
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"The moment that you choose the Pokémon that will awaken discoveries within you, the true journey begins. "
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[I'm no pokephilliac… but I will admit that weavile has nice cake.👌 ]
[Agreed. ]
[TheIcePryce: *rubs temples* I'm going to go send word to the local rangers to heighten the security around the local sneasel and weavile populations. ]
[RollingCorrina: Well, at least the Lucario doesn't look too bad.]
[Ayo?! ]
[Well, surprise, surprise, the Lucario trainer has the hots for a lucario. ]
[It's ok Corrina, we support you, no matter your taste in lovers. ]
[RollingCorrina: 😨 I DON'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!! I MWANTBTHAT IT LOKS LILE A NORMAL LUCARIO!!]
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"Now choose your starter in this big ass pile of legal consent. "
"Usually you would only have... 3 choices, but we have a LOT of eggs. "
The Delphox leaned closer to the professor, one of her hands moving suspiciously near the man's crotch.
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[🤢] x1,000
[Wow. Good call on Horse to add 18+ tags. ]
[Horses-R-Lame: *sees the hypersexualized mega banette*Geez, the Earth humans be drooling for ghost types too? ]
[Hey, *points at Delphox and Harkness* get a room you two! I know you guys roll like that, but you shouldn't be touching each other's junk in front of company!! ]
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The scene shift to an goth colored Gardevoir holding a wine glass in her hands, her thicc legs crossed over one another and her "dress" parted just enough to see her her midriff.
Next to her is an alolan meowth laying on top of a table while staring seductively at the viewer.
"A lot of these are... human shaped. "
"Hmmm? Oh!"
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[(•᷄- •᷅ ) ]
[Ecruteak_Gal: I sense a disturbance in the force... ]
[PsychicMoostache: Chat, I want to let you guys know that I love my NORMAL colored gardevoir wife very, very, veeerrry much, and I am definitely not feeling any form of arousal seeing this TRAMP with her fake boobs and her lame, edgy colorscheme and obviously cheap fake wig. ]
[Moostache. Blink twice if you are being held hostage. ]
[IronMunchkin:*Sees the THICC alolan Meowth staring seductively at the viewer* NUuuoooooo! ]
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"You know... the Eevee evolutions are really popular. "
The scene shifts to the eeveelutions, all of them drawn and animated with exaggerated asses and with the same seductive art style the other pokemon shown thus far have been depicted as.
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[Ecruteak_Gal: No.... no… nonononononnonono NOOO!! :distressed emoticon: ]
[I'mJustaBill: but that's not why they are popular though? ]
[@I'mJustaBillWelp, maybe not beforehand, but after this video? They will be. ]
[Ecruteak_Gal: OVER MY DEAD BODY!!! ]
[The sheer depravity of Gudao's internet astounds me. Do they hold NOTHING sacred? ]
[Apparently not. ]
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"Serperior is a great choice. Ninetails... "
"Always had a thing for Absols...."
" Primarina..."
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[But… why the snek? And how?! ]
[No!! Not the Absols!!! ]
[That's a mega Absol sir, seriously where did you get your degree?. ]
[I don't think that creep cares, nor do I think he went to University. ]
[That absol's subtle smile… it's making me feel weird… ]
[Not even Primarina is safe… ]
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"Do-Do the pokemon want to be-"
"Partners? Ohoho yes!"
"Some are very aggressive. I've researched it thoroughly!"
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[I don't think this guy is an actual pokemon professor. ]
[Ya think?! This guy is just a creep who uses research as an excuse to have sex with pokemon!! Utterly disgraceful!! ]
[Just_N:On the one hand, I'm glad the Pokémon in that lab get to choose who they can mate with. On the other, This Harkness is still a piece of shit who is taking advantage of his prestige and position as a professor to satisfy his carnal pleasures.]
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"You ever hear about the Harkness test? Look it up sometime. " The professor asks while holding a suspicious looking book in his hand.
"I'd rather not." The guy says.
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[Ditto ]
[At least this guy still has his head screwed on correctly. ]
[Nah, I don't think he does. Any normal person would have walked away the MOMENT this guy started describing Pokémon as "Sexy Creatures" ]
[Agreed, this guy is definitely got some curiosity in him, but still in the closet. ]
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The guy in the video notices certain creatures nearby.
"I don't recognize some of these. ""Er... those are... under research... Don't worry about them."
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[Ok, the digimons I get. Some of them look nearly indistinguishable from humans.]
[Yeah, but the guy isn't even getting the option to choose those three, let alone the human lookalikes. ]
[Ankha again huh? Why they always gotta do my girl dirty? She's been through enough already! ]
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"Which ones are good for battle?"
"Battle?! Oh. Actual battle. Eh, who cares?"
___________________________________________________________
[BattleMANIAC:I CARE! POKEMON ARE FOR BATTLING NOT FUCKING YOU SICKO! ]
[Pokémon are not merely tools for battle. They are our friends and companions, but they can also be our spouse, parent, or sibling. That being said, this man needs to learn some shame! There's a difference between showing affection for your Pokémon lover and just being all over each other when someone else is in the room or in public!! ]
[MegaMelonyes:Agreed! Just because I love dominating my submissive, masochistic husband in bed doesn't mean I'm going to go around parading him like a yamper in the streets during broad daylight! Have some common decency, you quack! ]
[:Violet Incredibles Squirting water from nose emote: ]
[GordieRocks: @MegaMelonyes Mom… WTF….]
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"Look, no matter who you pick, your journey will hinge on cooperation, teamwork and understanding. "
"It's important that both of you should feel comfortable with each other. "
"So no matter what changes or evolution, either of you undergo. You will always have a foundation of trust and friendship. "
"Wow professor. "
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[Well, you know what they say: a broken clock can be right twice in one day. ]
[IndoorElm: At least we know he passed the social science portion of the pokemon researcher exam during grad school. ]
[Junior_Researcher: I would be surprised if he didn't, it's a major requirement for pokemon professors to pass their certification exam.]
[Despite his perversion, he seems to respect consent, boundariesand healthy relationships with pokemon. ]
___________________________________________________________
A vulpix jumps from under the table and approaches the guy in the video.
"Master? Screw me with your big dick and use me as a cock sleeve!"
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[(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ] x5,000
[IliekQTthings: (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ]
[Blue-The-King-Of-YoMAMA: Ooookaaay, I think I've had enough Gudao stream for tonight. Smell ya later losers, I'm going to go dunk my head in bleach. ]
___________________________________________________________
"Mhm. Ah yes and uh... better get used to eating eggs for breakfast!"
"What!?"
___________________________________________________________
[Oh wow. And here I thought it wouldn't get any more fucked up than poke-fucking. The wannabe professor is literally advocating for infanticidal cannibalism. ]
[The way he conveyed the message to the guy, this Harkness doesn't just advocate for it, he ACTIVELY PRACTICES IT. 😡 ]
[BABY KILLER!! ]
[If he were actually registered as a professor, such behavior would have been not just grounds for suspension of researcher license but a lengthy prison sentence. ]
[Bruh, a prison sentence would be the least of his worries. If he was a real professor doing this shit in our world, he would have been mauled by the very mothers he impregnated. Pokemon are VERY protective over their eggs. ]
[Not even Dennis The Menace was THAT evil. ]
___________________________________________________________
"We all know what's going on out there! No one says it, but they know! You think this shit is popular because of smogon?! Fuck you!!"
The professor tosses a pokeball at the camera.
___________________________________________________________
[Well Fuck you too! ]
[Again, he isn't wrong that Smogon isn't the reason why ppl play pokemon in Gudao's world, but that still doesn't excuse his disgusting behaviour. ]
[Never have I wanted to punch a fictional person more than this asshole. ]
[Well, at least the guy doesn't have to deal with him anymore. Plus, he got a talking vulpix! ]
[A mentally unwell talking Vulpix ]
[A mentally unwell Talking Vulpix who is ALSO in heat. ]
[Ugh… don't remind me… ]
___________________________________________________________
Screen fades to black. Then it shows the guy and vulpix near a campfire.
"No, no, groom me into your first pick and use me on a top team. "
"Ohhhh "
___________________________________________________________
[Oh thank Arceus, it's over. ]
[That… has got to be one of the most uncomfortable pokemon videos from Gudao's world that we've ever seen. ]
[Oh Arc, its back!]
[Arcueido-Meido: Stop calling me to watch these dirty videos!!! Or I'll find you! ]
[No! Let it end!! PLEASE NO MORE!]
[Maybe that Vulpix isn't so bad. ]
___________________________________________________________
"Now take off your pants."
"0.0"
"Hello! Yes. Its meant to be weird and uncomfortable. Your feelings are correct, don't worry!"
"I do a lot of stuff, but all my cartoons are in a playlist over there."
"Special thanks to Peach Saliva and her awful internet name for voicing the sexually agressive animal."
"And thanks to you for tolerating my cartoons and keeping me alive. "
"The patreon keeps me alive and punishes youtube for its insolence."
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[Ecruteak_Gal: I pray to all the gods in both our world and in Gudao's that YouTube bans your channel and you end up homeless on the streets for making this abomination! ]
[ I get your anger, but lay off the artists. They don't know. ]
[Ecruteak_Gal: THAT'S NO LONGER A VALID EXCUSE! ]
[Well, if there's one thing that I can appreciate, it's an artist just doing their best to live out their dream. ]
[Ecruteak_Gal: MORE LIKE A NIGHTMARE!! ]
[Girl, chill. ]
[Hey, on the brightside, the Vulpix isn't doing anything perverted. She just mending her trainer's pants! ]
[Hurray for Happy Endings!! ]
Suddenly, the door to Ritsuka's room opened, revealing the man of the hour himself. He looked rather apologetic and a bit meek, "Hey guys, sorry I took a while. Anyways, I'm back, what did I miss?"