I stroked my hair, smiled, and said, "Really, I need you for something. I need a strategy that will allow me to win without having to kill anyone. I don't think I'm capable of killing people. They're just living people like me at the end, no matter how much I think or want to. And even though I'm a bad person stuck in his past and harboring a grudge against others, I don't think I'll ever have the nerve to kill."
Julie rested both elbows on her knees, interlaced her fingers, and rested her cheek on her hands. "I'm sorry to say, that's impossible. As long as you're in this game, you're forced to kill, Kirian. If you don't kill, you won't win the money, and you won't be able to open alliances or form teams with other people, or even win the game."
I tried to evade further, adding, "But I've never played this game and I've never seen anything like it before. How did I get here, then? And also, as for the kill requirement for forming teams, does that mean that if someone wants to form a team with me, they've already killed someone?"
Julie sighed, stood up from her chair, and swiped her finger behind her to make it disappear. "Sorry, I can't tell you anything about your presence here other than the information I'm allowed to give you. And as for the kill requirement, yes, everyone has to kill someone else to unlock alliances and teams."
My eyes widened at Julie's answer, then I said, "Y-but how could anyone trust another killer so easily and form a team with them? You kill to form a team with another killer? What kind of rule is that? Wouldn't that make you suspect that the person you teamed with might also kill you? Especially since they offered rewards to anyone who betrayed their teammates."
Julie smiled, crossing her arms, "Yes, it seems you've finally figured it out, smart guy. You're a killer, and your teammate is a killer, but who said your desires and your teammate's are the same? You might kill to protect yourself, while he kills with another intention. Wouldn't that make you more vulnerable to betrayal? And even if you were alone, you'd still encounter a team of killers. So you have to choose which option you want. I'm aware that each option is worse than the other, but you have to decide now. Also, if you want to review the rules again, you can do so whenever you want. Just tell me."
I stood up from the ground, my eyes fixed on the bracelet's screen and Julie's digital being. "Yes, I want to. Please"
Julie flicked her index finger through the air, revealing a white screen with the rules written in small, ornate black script.
Julie said, "Since when have you been so polite? Anyway, here are the rules. You can ask me anything you want, and I'll answer you according to what I've been programmed to do, just because you realized your mistake and were kind and courteous to me."
I stood there, reading, re-reading, and analyzing the rules in my head.
It said that each player was free to kill anyone they wanted in exchange for half the amount of money the victim had. I understood, and looked up at the top right of the screen, where my balance was.
My balance was now -$2,000,000. Wait, what? Negative two million bollars?!
I asked, "Julie, why is my balance negative two million dollars? What does that mean? Did I make a mistake?"
"No," Julie said, obscured by the white facade of the rules. "Your current balance is $100,000. As for that $2,000,000, it's the amount you owe the game. The game paid to bring you here, so you must raise that entire amount and more by killing others. Once you cover the entire amount, you won't owe anyone, and the rest will be yours. But if you win without covering the required amount, the game will imprison you and force you to participate in the next series of the game. So, make sure you raise the money. You'll only have to kill 20 people or less."
I realize that this thinking is so strange and extreme that it makes me feel dizzy and nauseous. It means I'm forced to kill no matter what, which means that peaceful thinking in a game like this will lead to my death. But I'm a physically weak person and not that strong or motivated to fight.
So does that mean I have to get my hands dirty? They also stipulate that everyone is free to restrain and torture opponents however they want. What kind of mad person would allow and commit such heinous acts? No, who the madman was who made such laws in the first place?
This place is awful, and I never feel comfortable there.
Killing and torture? If it were just a trick, away from the sheer brutality and loss of life, I could manage a little, but I can't kill. I hate killing... I hate injustice... I hate pain...
But it's not fair for me to live it alone...
It's not fair for me to hate it alone...
It's not fair for me to be the only one who avoids it...
Everyone should feel that way...
Everyone should know the true meaning of pain and suffering...
It's true that I wish all of this for others, but not directly...
It's true that I want to kill them too and drink their blood from their skulls...
But turning that strange lust into reality would be like a step from which there is no return...
Every strange habit is planted in the veins of a person from the first audacity...
Fuck, what am I supposed to do now? No Plan B will likely work.
Damn, this would drive anyone to kill without hesitation or empathy, no doubt. It would fuel that selfish, greedy flame hidden under the guise of survival and self-defense that most of the idiots participating here undoubtedly possess. They even left a warning about breaking that rule. What a cowardly way to escape remorse.
This is both frightening and stupid. This inhumane method of subjugation to commit a crime would not be the work of a conscious and responsible person.
I have to be careful..
I have to be afraid..
I have to be a killer..
I have to, or I might fall into the hands of a madman..
I don't want to be tortured..
I don't want to be hurt again..
I don't want to suffer again..
I want to die a direct death..
One gasp that takes my soul and spirit to heaven without suffering..
All I want is a normal life with a direct, normal death..
I don't want to be tortured..
I never wanted that!..
While I was lost in thought, I heard screams and groans, accompanied by the sound of gunfire in the distance.
My thoughts were interrupted, and I regained my senses and became aware of my surroundings.
My hands were trembling, and my eyes were brimming with tears.
But Julie interrupted this moment of weakness, saying, "Do you think someone is nearby? It sounds like a girl's voice. Do you think she's the first victim in this game? Poor thing, maybe you should hide too."
I quickly looked around, my eyes wide open, darting frantically through the trees, and shivers ran through my body. "What are you talking about? A victim? What victim? Are you kidding? No, that's impossible. A victim from the start? So fast? No, you're wrong!"
"Calm down, bro" Julie said, holding up her hands in an attempt to calm me down. "Calm down. Why are you suddenly so scared? Are you going to lose your mind from the start? Your heart rate is racing, reaching 120 beats per minute. Try to breathe deeply and calm down. You're not in danger right now, but staying in a place like this in this state isn't a good option. We have to move."
From the intensity of fear and tension, my knees felt weak.
I dropped to the ground, grabbed my head, and dug my fingers into my hair, pulling it as the moans and screams grew louder.
Another gunshot followed by another distant scream.
I began to mutter in a low voice, "I'm going to die. I'm going to be tortured in the worst possible way, the most horrific way a person can be tortured. My situation is absolutely hopeless. No... I won't survive... This place isn't for me!"
Julie was trying to calm me down, but her voice began to fade as I sank deeper into my thoughts.
How did I get here?
Did I come here by luck or coincidence?
Impossible..
that's impossible..
If someone else ends up dancing on my corpse while I struggle between life and death, I'd rather die now..
My eyes filled with tears and reddened as they opened wide.
I slowly unzipped the waist bag that hugged my waist and pulled out the knife that was inside.
The girl screaming grew louder as time passed..
She was tortured too, tortured until she killed herself for giving birth to me..
She was tortured and violated, and the result was me..
How disgusting..
I closed my eyes and held the knife to my throat..
I felt the cold, sharp edge of the metal against my throat..
I just wanted to disappear..
I had to end it that night..
I shouldn't have hesitated to throw myself off that cliff..
Maybe I would have ended it then without being tortured any further..
I hate this..
I hate being beaten..
I've been subjected to enough violence from those who should have loved me..
I hate this so much..
But suddenly, without warning, a familiar voice appeared inside my head and said, "But if you weren't a bad person, no one would hate you. And if you weren't a bad person now, no one will love you. This is your chance."
I opened my eyes, lifted my head, and looked around, tears of longing piercing my eyes as they searched for the source of this familiar, compassionate voice, but I found no one.
The voice echoed again in my head, "Remember when I saved you and helped you overcome your fear of ants when you were five? Remember when I helped you make your decisions and gave you the strength you needed to reclaim your rights when you were 12? Now I command you to go to the source of the voice and check it out. You must trust me, just as I did before, when I saved you. Come on, Kirian!"
With his final call of my name, I felt as if I were emerging from a dark cave into a place of light.
I came to my senses to find my shirt drenched with saliva from my eyes.
I lowered the knife from my neck and I sighed, feeling a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
I sat up straight and wiped my eyes with the back of my left hand, then took a deep breath as Julie looked at me worriedly, saying, "Kirian, are you okay? Talk to me. Don't think about yourself and look at nothing with those crazy eyes while you cry and hold a knife to your neck. That's suspicious and cruel, even for a program like me designed to endure all forms of human violence."
I wiped my eyes again and said, "Excuse me, I don't know what suddenly came over me. How long have I been like this?"
Julie sighed, then folded her arms and said, "About four minutes. Now calm down and tell me what's wrong?"
I opened my mouth to speak and answer Julie, but the voice in my head interrupted me again, saying, "Don't trust anyone. Don't talk to anyone about yourself. Everyone will hurt you, no one will understand you, and others will take advantage of you, just as they all did before. There isn't enough time to talk. That screaming sounds like someone in real trouble. You have to follow the voice and check it out. This is your chance to gain some company, Kirian. Remember, the best chance you can win someone with the loyalty of a dog is to rescue them when they're in real trouble, and someone like you can do that."
I thought for a few seconds, then said to Julie, "Julie, I want to use the scan now."
"Are you sure?" Julie said, a worried look on her face.
Without hesitation, I nodded, said, "Yes, I need to check out the source of this screaming. Maybe I can gather more information about what's going on."
Julie activated the scan, and the bracelet's screen turned green. There was a blue dot in the center, representing me, and two identical red dots about 210 meters to the southeast, representing two other people.
I set off toward the red dots on the scan. The closer I got, the clearer and softer the sound became, and with it my tension, anxiety, and fear of the catastrophic outcome or the horrific scene that lay ahead increased. Just thinking about it made my body tremble even more.
I walked through the long leaves and thin branches of the bushes until I reached the end of a gentle slope, very close to the sound coming from the bushes below.
My eyes darted through the bushes, frantically searching for what was happening, to the point where they were almost bulging out of their sockets.
I was desperate to know what was happening..
But suddenly, I felt an intense warmth spreading through my chest and a firm, gentle hand grasping my right shoulder.
The voice inside my head said, "Don't turn around or look behind you. There's no way to retreat. Don't worry about anything, my friend. I am your right arm here, guiding you through life as I always have. Now, focus on that bush directly in front of you, in the middle of the bushes. It's moving slightly, isn't it? Look a little closer and you'll understand what's happening."
I remained frozen and standing in place. After hearing that voice again, I had no choice but to obey and feel this strange warmth.
The trees were behind me as I stood on that gentle slope, four meters high.
I looked closely at the bushes until I was shocked and felt a strong grip grabbing my heart, squeezing it tightly. I had expected every scenario and scene except this one.
To be continued...