We walked down the hallway in silence.
Ailany was still clinging to my arm tightly, like a forgotten belonging she refused to return. The air between us was tense, yet her scent was soft… sweet… dangerously familiar.
I wanted to say something clever. Something that could fix everything. But the only thing that came out of my mouth was:
"Hey… uh… I know I screwed up. Not just once… maybe twice… or three times… five? Well, the point is—"
"Stop talking," Ailany murmured without looking at me.
I swallowed hard. I felt like if I said one more word, I'd only dig myself deeper.
"I'm sorry," I finally said, honestly. My voice softened, as if afraid of shattering the fragile silence between us. "Really… I messed up. But it wasn't what you think. Kaori and I… it was a misunderstanding. Or maybe too many misunderstandings that all exploded at once."
Ailany didn't reply right away. She kept walking with firm steps, dragging me along. But I noticed her grip loosening, just a little.
Maybe… just maybe… I still had a chance.
We entered the room, and the door closed with a soft click. It was daytime, but the gentle dimness inside seemed to invite calm. The sound of the shōji sliding shut felt louder than it should. We were alone. Finally.
She walked over to the edge of the futon and stood with her back to me. Her hair, slightly tousled by the breeze from the window, hid her face… but it couldn't fool me.
Ailany was hurt.
And it was my fault.
"You don't have to say anything," she whispered. "I get it now."
"No… you don't. Because I don't even get it myself," I took a step toward her, but stopped halfway. "I just… I just want to explain. Even if you don't forgive me."
She slowly turned around. Her eyes were wet. They shone with anger, yes… but also with a sadness that cut through me like a dagger.
"Why, Haruki?" she asked, her voice trembling. "Why did you make me feel so… replaceable?"
I didn't have a good answer. Just the truth. Clumsy, selfish, human.
"I didn't mean to. That night was a mess. Kaori wasn't feeling well, she couldn't sleep, and I… I didn't know how to handle it. You were upset, and I didn't want to give you another reason to worry."
"And so you let another girl sleep next to you? In your shirt?" she snapped, hurt.
"Nothing happened!" I defended myself, almost in a whisper. "We slept apart. It was awkward, weird… I couldn't even sleep properly. I just kept thinking about you."
Silence.
She lowered her gaze.
"Then why didn't you come to me? Why weren't you the one knocking on my door?"
"Because I thought you hated me. I thought if I spoke to you… you'd push me away. And I… I was scared. Scared of losing you completely."
A short, bitter laugh escaped her lips. But her eyes stayed sad.
"Haruki, you're so dumb it actually hurts. But the worst part is… even though you are, I still want you to look at me. Only me."
I stepped closer. This time, without stopping.
We were so close I could feel the warmth from her skin.
"Ailany… look at me. I'm here. I'm always looking at you. Even if I don't know how to show it. Even if I act like an idiot sometimes."
She didn't answer. But her eyes filled with tears. Not angry ones. They were softer. More vulnerable.
"If you're going to say you love me," she whispered, "don't say it with lies."
I nodded. Then, I grabbed her hand firmly.
"I love you. Even when you yell at me. Even when you make me feel like the worst guy in the world. Even when you won't give me second chances… I still love you."
Ailany lowered her gaze. She gripped my hand tighter.
She didn't say anything. But that small action… was enough.
Maybe she hadn't forgiven me completely… but at least, for now, the wall between us had begun to crack.
"Don't say those things so easily…" she muttered, still holding my hand. "They sound nice, but if you don't back them up, they're empty."
"I know," I answered honestly. "But I'm going to prove it. Just… give me a chance."
She turned away again and sat on the futon, hugging her knees.
The silence was heavy, but no longer hostile. It felt like we were both searching for the right rhythm in a conversation we'd been saying wrong for days.
"I don't hate you, Haruki," she finally said. "But you made me feel invisible. And that… hurt way more than I thought it would."
I sat beside her, leaving a little space between us.
"I don't ever want you to feel that way again. To me, Ailany, you're impossible to ignore. Even when you're not around, everything reminds me of you."
"Now you sound like the lead in some cheap romance drama," she murmured, with a faint smile that vanished almost immediately.
"I am," I replied with a soft grin. "But one who doesn't want to lose his heroine."
She let out a small huff.
For the first time, the atmosphere shifted. It wasn't a full smile… but she wasn't crying anymore.
It was like a cloudy sky letting a little light through.
"I guess if it were easy to forgive you… everything I feel wouldn't make sense," she closed her eyes. "Don't think I'll always be here waiting for you every time you screw up, okay?"
"I won't. I want to be here for you. Even if it's hard to understand you sometimes… I'll keep trying."
A long silence. Then, without looking at me, she murmured:
"Then… start by not being so nice to every girl. It's not that I hate you being kind… but if you don't set boundaries, you make me feel like just another girl. And I'm not 'just another girl.' Got it?"
I felt my chest tighten. I nodded firmly.
"I promise. From now on, I'll be clearer. With everyone. But especially… with you."
Ailany turned slightly and glanced at me out of the corner of her eye.
Her eyes no longer filled with sadness.
"I haven't forgiven you completely yet, you know?"
"I know."
"But… you can stay here. On the other side of the futon."
My heart skipped a beat.
"Really?"
"Don't get too excited. If you cross the line, I'll kick you out."
"Got it."
We lay down in silence.
Separated by the invisible line of the futon.
But even with that distance, the air between us wasn't broken anymore.
Slowly, like a garden after the storm, something was beginning to bloom again.
And though I didn't have her forgiveness yet…
At least, I wasn't alone anymore.