Here's @riojiyo131, your trusted writer.
You can now get early access to Chapter 99 of Re: Naruto Uzumaki on my Patreon. You can also read up to Chapter 32 of Naruto: Satoru Senju.
patreon.com/riojiyo131
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< System: The nicknames of the new group members have been updated >
[Member 'Kamikaze-kun' has changed his nickname to his real name: Nawaki Senju.]
[Member 'Deadly Midwife' has changed her nickname to her real name: Biwako Sarutobi.]
[Member 'Monkey D. Negligence' has changed his nickname to his real name: Hiruzen Sarutobi.]
[Member 'Father of the Year (Sand Edition)' has changed his nickname to his real name: Rasa.]
[Member 'Mother of the Desert' has changed her nickname to her real name: Karura.]
[Member 'Bro-Senju' has changed his nickname to his real name: Itama Senju.]
[Member 'Dad Didn't Choose Me' has changed his nickname to his real name: Indra Ōtsutsuki.]
[Member 'Dad's Favorite' has changed his nickname to his real name: Asura Ōtsutsuki.]
[Member 'Creator of Ninshū' has changed his nickname to his real name: Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki.]
[Member 'Lord of the Moon' has changed his nickname to his real name: Hamura Ōtsutsuki.]
Naruto sighed heavily upon realizing there were too many members who were absolutely not going to contribute anything.
But upon seeing the two brothers, Indra and Asura, and then the other two brothers, Hagoromo and Hamura, Naruto couldn't help but get excited.
If he could obtain all the strength of the four, there would be no rival for him in the entire world.
Not even the Ōtsutsuki Clan would be a concern.
Kaguya? Kinshiki? Momoshiki? Isshiki? Urashiki...?
None of them, except for Momoshiki and Isshiki, would stand a chance against him in his current state.
By the time Naruto had to face them, he would already have the power of all the current chat group members.
And by then, none of them would be a problem.
His thoughts were interrupted due to multiple messages arriving at the same time.
[Itama Senju: Big brother Hashirama, Tobirama! It's me! Itama!]
[Hashirama Senju: I'm so glad you're in the chat group, Itama!]
[Tobirama Senju: Only our brother Kawarama is missing and all the brothers will be reunited.]
[Itama Senju: I can't wait to be with you guys! But I'm even more eager to return to life!]
[Mito Uzumaki: Fufu~ He's just as hyper as you, husband.]
[Tobirama Senju: Itama was always just as dumb as my older brother, while Kawarama was more calm, like me.]
[Itama Senju: Husband...? Wait a minute, Hashirama got married...?! How is that possible?!]
[Hashirama Senju: Hoho! I managed to marry the Princess of the Uzumaki Clan, little Itama! She was beautiful back then!]
[Mito Uzumaki: 'Was'? 'Back then'? I must have misheard, but you're speaking in past tense, husband.]
[Hashirama Senju: I-I...I WAS WRONG, I'M SORRY!! I meant that you're very beautiful, both now and before, Mito!]
[Mito Uzumaki: Fufu~ I still wonder how I fell in love with this idiot.]
[Itama Senju: You should have invited me to the wedding if you got married, idiot!!]
[Tobirama Senju: Itama, you were dead...]
[Itama Senju: Oh... hehe... that's true.]
[Tobirama Senju: …]
[Mito Uzumaki: …]
[Hashirama Senju: Don't worry, happens to me often too, I also forget sometimes.]
[Mito Uzumaki: Really, I still wonder...]
[Madara Uchiha: You can always get divorced and find another man, nothing's stopping you, Mphm.]
[Tobirama Senju: What the hell? Why do I feel like you're jealous, Madara? Are you gay too?]
[Madara Uchiha: I'm not like you and my brother, Tobirama! Don't you ever call me that again!]
[Tobirama Senju: Gay...]
[Madara Uchiha: YOU...!!]
[Mito Uzumaki: Madara, speak one more time, I dare you, just see what happens!]
[Madara Uchiha: …]
[Itama Senju: Wait, too...? Brother Tobirama, are you...?]
[Tobirama Senju: That... A lot has happened, Itama. We'll catch up when Naruto adds you to our private room in a moment. Though first, I must apologize, little brother, Madara is living with us.]
[Itama Senju: Madara is living with you? That's great! He was a bit grumpy, but I didn't dislike him.]
[Tobirama Senju: Traitor...]
[Madara Uchiha: Heh...]
[Tobirama Senju: That's why I liked Kawarama better, Itama.]
[Itama Senju: Hey, hey, hey! You can have favorite siblings, but don't say it so openly!]
[Hashirama Senju: Don't worry, Itama! It was always you and me against Tobirama and Kawarama, I'm afraid it will still be that way!]
[Itama Senju: I've spent a lot of time in the Pure World perfecting my skills, I'm sure I can beat brother Kawarama now.]
[Tobirama Senju: But... Didn't Kawarama die too? What makes you think he hasn't gotten stronger as well...?]
[Itama Senju: NOOOOOOO! I didn't think of that, damn it!]
[Naruto Uzumaki: While I'm happy for your family reunion, there are more members to attend to, you know? Don't hog the chat group to talk nonsense.]
[Hashirama Senju: Nonsense? This sibling rivalry has lasted since we were born! It's extremely important!]
Naruto rolled his eyes at Hashirama continuing to insist on the matter.
[Tobirama Senju: Actually, Hashirama, Naruto is right. I'm also interested in the other group members. Naruto, send Itama with us, that way we won't talk in the chat group.]
[Naruto Uzumaki: Huh? But Itama hasn't paid for it yet.]
[Mito Uzumaki: Oh no, the extortionist Naruto is back. Everyone, lock yourselves in and don't come out until it's safe!]
[Naruto Uzumaki: You know? That's not funny, I mean it.]
[Itama Senju: But I'm poor, I have no money...]
[Naruto Uzumaki: Oh, don't worry, money isn't the currency here...]
[Madara Uchiha: The hunter moves slowly toward his prey, ready to strike...]
[Naruto Uzumaki: This isn't a hunting documentary, Madara!]
[Naruto Uzumaki: The system has already given you information about the chat group. You should be aware that to return to life, you must transfer all your strength to me. The payment to see the real world through my eyes and gain a shared private room with your loved ones is a payment of all your Chakra.]
[Tobirama Senju: What Naruto isn't telling you is that he turns off the real-world view most of the time.]
[Naruto Uzumaki: I deserve to have some privacy!]
[Tobirama Senju: You turn off the vision when you're with your girlfriend, you turn off the vision when you eat ramen, you turn it off when you sleep, you turn it off when you shower—which, by the way, you take very long showers, I have no idea what you do in there. You even turn off the vision when you're creating a new technique!]
[Naruto Uzumaki: I'm not going to let you see me and my girlfriend hanging out! Eating ramen is private, too important to share with a dead guy like you! And I don't want you copying my techniques after I make them, they're mine, and I teach them only to whoever I want! As for the shower thing...! NO COMMENT!]
[Madara Uchiha: Well, in the end, Naruto is still at that age...]
[Naruto Uzumaki: You were my age once too! Don't act like you didn't take long showers, Madara!]
[Hashirama Senju: Now that I think about it, Madara never wanted to get into the river with me when we were kids. Is it because he liked showering more...?]
[Tobirama Senju: Brother, forget it, you're clearly not understanding this conversation.]
[Hashirama Senju: Huh...?]
[Mito Uzumaki: If I find out Madara has showered with you even once, I'll castrate you, husband.]
[Madara Uchiha: …]
[Naruto Uzumaki: Let's forget this embarrassing topic once and for all! Who's paying and who isn't?]
[Rasa: I'll pay. I want a Private Room to be with my wife, Karura.]
[Karura: NO WAY!! Stay away from me, you bastard!]
[Madara Uchiha: Oh, this is getting interesting...]
Even Naruto raised an eyebrow, interested and amused, upon seeing the argument about to explode in the chat group.
[Rasa: What's wrong, Karura? Why are you acting like this?]
[Karura: You used my life as fuel!! You sealed the Shukaku in my womb to give our beloved son, Gaara, the ability to control the power of that beast, turning him into a weapon for the village! There's no one I hate more in the world than you, Rasa!]
[Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki: Shukaku isn't a beast, he's my son, don't call him that...]
[Karura: Stay silent! This has nothing to do with you!]
Naruto was shocked to see Karura talking like that to the Sage of the Six Paths himself.
He wondered if she would regret it once she found out who he really was.
[Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki: Ahem. I'll stay quiet for now, I'll let you continue.]
Naruto almost burst into laughter upon realizing Hagoromo had backed down after being scolded.
[Rasa: I am the Fourth Kazekage of Sunagakure before being a husband or a father, I thought you understood that. Your life was used for the village's benefit, you should be grateful.]
[Naruto Uzumaki: Oh wow, you're a walking bastard. I can't wait to hand you over to Pakura...]
Naruto had already made a decision after seeing how Rasa talked to his own wife.
Rasa was beyond redemption.
He was an irredeemable man.
And Pakura, although she had given up on revenge after discovering Rasa had died, now that she was a new member of the chat group, Naruto was sure she wouldn't say no.
Although now that Pakura had moved on with her life, in Shisui's company, Naruto hesitated for a moment.
Maybe he should just leave her alone and not remind her of her past.
[Naruto Uzumaki: On second thought, maybe I should let Madara play with you for a while. It would be unpleasant for Pakura to see your disgusting face.]