Shiro's peaceful school life was shattered the moment two crescent-shaped horns sprouted from his forehead.
Tobirama Senju arrived at the Ninja Academy in no time, leading Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata to conduct a thorough and intense investigation—mostly involving poking, pulling, and prodding.
"Oi, Shiro, are you sure these horns grew out of your head and aren't just some fancy costume piece?"
"What would I even gain from lying? If you don't believe me, go ahead and try pulling them off."
"Alright! Sasuke, grab one. We'll each take a side."
Naruto, dressed as Kitaro, and Sasuke, dressed as a vampire, each grabbed one of Shiro's horns and pulled upward with all their might.
"Hnnnghh—!"
Instead of the horns coming off, Shiro was yanked off the ground, dangling in the air like some kind of weird Halloween decoration.
Shiro sighed. "Satisfied now?"
"…Nope! Sasuke, hold him down—I'm gonna try harder!"
With the utmost determination, Naruto pressed his foot against Shiro's head, gripping both horns and pulling like he was trying to yank a tree out of the ground.
"ARGH! OW, OW, OW! CUT IT OUT!"
"Hold still! Maybe if I—"
"STOP! IT'S BLEEDING!"
A small trickle of blood seeped from the base of one horn. Naruto and Sasuke immediately let go, stepping back in horror.
Hinata, ever the kindhearted one, quickly handed Shiro a handkerchief to stop the bleeding.
Meanwhile, Tobirama was deep in thought.
At first, he was merely curious about Shiro's sudden transformation, but when he saw how fast the wound healed—mere seconds later, as if it had never existed—his eyes widened.
No way… That's the regeneration of a Senju's Sage Body!
His mind raced through possibilities.
"Shiro… Tell me the truth. How do you have the same body as my elder brother?"
Silence filled the room.
Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata all froze.
Tobirama's elder brother…?
As in… the First Hokage, Senju Hashirama?!
Sasuke, ever the logical thinker, was the first to speak.
"Sensei… Is it possible that Shiro is a descendant of the Senju Clan?"
Tobirama stroked his chin. "A reasonable theory. But there's a problem."
Naruto blinked. "Huh? What problem?"
"The only Senju to naturally possess the Sage Body was my elder brother. If this trait was inheritable, it should have appeared among our direct descendants."
"And?"
"My brother, his son, and my nephew—Senju Nawaki—are all dead."
"Which leaves only one person alive from my brother's line… Senju Tsunade."
All eyes turned to Shiro.
Tobirama narrowed his gaze. "Shiro… Could you be Tsunade's son?"
Shiro nearly choked on air.
WHAT?!
ME?! TSUNADE'S KID?!
He wanted to deny it outright, but Tobirama looked so convinced that he hesitated.
Wait… Hold on. If I deny it too fast, he might start asking more questions. If I admit it, does that mean I'll inherit a fortune in gambling debts?
"I… I don't think so?"
"Hmm." Tobirama wasn't entirely convinced.
But then, something else dawned on him.
"If you were Tsunade's child, she would never abandon you… No, this doesn't make sense."
Shiro sighed in relief—until he realized Tobirama's expression had darkened further.
"Unless… My brother or nephew had an illegitimate child? And you are their descendant?"
The atmosphere grew heavy.
Sasuke muttered, "So, what you're saying is… Shiro is the lost heir of the Senju Clan?"
Tobirama nodded gravely. "It's possible."
The air was thick with tension. But before Shiro could even begin to process what the hell was happening, Tobirama placed a firm hand on his shoulder.
"Shiro, from now on, you will bear the Senju name."
"Eh?"
"Your new name is Senju Shiro."
"…What?"
"Oh, and you'll refer to me as Grandfather from now on."
WHAT?!
Shiro's jaw nearly hit the floor.
This was moving way too fast! He just woke up this morning thinking about breakfast, and now he was suddenly getting adopted by the Second Hokage?!
"Sensei, shouldn't we investigate further before making such a bold decision?" Sasuke asked.
"No need. He has the Sage Body, and that's enough evidence. He's a Senju."
Shiro was still struggling to wrap his head around it when Tobirama suddenly sighed and shook his head.
"…What a shame."
"Huh?"
"I was considering introducing you to my granddaughter."
Shiro blinked.
"…You mean—?"
Tobirama solemnly nodded. "Yes. I was going to introduce you to Tsunade."
Shiro froze.
Tsunade.
The fifty-year-old, beer-loving, debt-ridden, superpowered gambling addict.
No. No, no, no.
That was NOT happening.
Tobirama continued mumbling, "It would have been a perfect match… But alas, fate is cruel."
Shiro suppressed the urge to scream.
No. The only fate that's cruel is YOU, Tobirama!
Clearing his throat, Tobirama turned back to Sasuke. "Speaking of awakenings, I heard your eyes changed as well."
Sasuke immediately stepped forward, his Sharingan spinning into the shape of a Mangekyō. "Yes, Sensei. I've awakened the Mangekyō Sharingan. With these eyes, I can now fight against full-fledged Jōnin without being at a disadvantage."
Tobirama nodded in approval.
However, as Sasuke continued explaining his abilities, he realized the attention had completely shifted away from him.
Shiro stood nearby, looking more than a little awkward—his Sharingan flipping between three-tomoe, Mangekyō, and Rinnegan on an endless cycle.
Sasuke's eye twitched.
"…Shiro. What the hell are you doing?"
Shiro's smile was stiff.
"Uh… I can't really control it yet."
Naruto scratched his head. "Wait… If Shiro has the Sage Body and the Sharingan, doesn't that mean he's part Senju and part Uchiha?"
Tobirama stiffened.
For some reason, the moment Naruto said that, an image of his elder brother and Madara flashed through his mind.
"…That's impossible."
But the idea haunted him.
Sasuke, on the other hand, looked utterly devastated.
"Shiro… You…"
Shiro met his eyes and sighed.
Damn it. I really didn't mean to flex on Sasuke like this.
While Tobirama was deep in thought, Naruto was fascinated, and Hinata was busy admiring how handsome Shiro looked, Shiro himself was internally screaming.
What the hell am I supposed to do now?!
Should he be Senju Shiro?
Or Uchiha Shiro?
Or maybe Senju Uchiha Shiro?
Or Uchiha Senju Shiro?
Ugh.
Never mind.
Too long.
The audience wouldn't remember it anyway.