***We returned—and I wish we hadn't. Silence hung heavy over the road. Inside the car, Magda kept staring out the window, and I knew she was lost in thought: how to process what had happened? How to hold onto our silence? Even Zuzanna didn't lift her eyes, fixated on a single point—her wrist. There was no doubt that what happened was shocking.
I reached out and gently touched her hand, asking quietly,
"Are you okay?"
Magda replied sharply without hesitation,
"My head hurts. Just be quiet."
I wasn't feeling any better. My arm was turning blue, and my leg was bruised. My fall hadn't hurt at first, but the pain was creeping in slowly now.
The driver stopped at a small station and said,
"Sorry, I'll be right back."
Then he hurried off.
Suddenly, Zuzanna spoke up,
"You know, don't you?"
She said it bluntly, without naming Magda.
Magda asked coolly,
"What do you mean?"
Zuzanna's voice trembled,
"Bach... tried to take me."
Magda tried to soften the blow,
"He must have needed you for something. But I warned him repeatedly not to deal with any of you directly. Damn him!"
Zuzanna asked quietly, mixed with worry,
"And now?"
Magda answered firmly,
"Don't be afraid. I'll handle it... but you must obey me."
Zuzanna continued, hesitating,
"What happened to him? Who did this to him?"
"I don't understand."
"His hands... it was missing a finger."
Magda quickly said,
"He was injured at work."
It hit me hard. Tears welled in my eyes as the truth slowly sank in. Without fully realizing, I muttered,
"A criminal? A killer? Four fingers?!"
Magda looked at me, surprised, then angry,
"What are you talking about? You..."
Zuzanna grabbed my hand, shaking me to bring me back from my daze. I knew she didn't catch all my words, and honestly, I wasn't sure I fully understood myself.
Should I say everything? Or hold on to indifference?
Magda stepped out of the car, then came around to pull me out alone, telling Zuzanna,
"Stay here."
She shut the door behind her.
She pulled me away briskly and asked,
"What do you know?"
I looked at her sharply. Thoughts flooded my mind. What can I do? Nothing. We're weak—neither hurting nor healing. I glanced back at the car. Zuzanna was watching me from inside. I thought to myself: Me or Zuzanna? What should I do? But what if I stayed silent? Maybe that would buy us time—to escape… or to think."
Magda shouted,
"Come on, you monkey! What were you talking about?"
After a moment, I answered hesitantly,
"Oh... oh... it's from a scary story at the old orphanage. The deformed ones are always criminals. And what Bach did today... it looks bad, doesn't it?"
Magda stared deep into my eyes, as if digging into my thoughts,
"So you saw what happened today?"
I nodded.
She said,
"If you know something, then tell me... I'm the oldest here, and I can handle these things. Don't put yourself in danger—you understand that."
"I thought to myself, her strategy is clear to me. Making us feel guilty, ashamed, and helpless... these are her usual tactics."
I answered simply,
"Mm... I promise from now on I'll tell you everything. But for now, can we go back to the car? My legs hurt from the fall."
I was evading. I didn't want to be in danger.
Zuzanna got out as well on Magda's order. They brought me back into the car, then stepped away a little.
They had a long conversation.
The driver started honking repeatedly.
Magda said impatiently, with a superior look,
"Sir, you must be patient as we waited for you. Who are you to treat your customers with such rudeness?"
The man snapped back angrily,
"Damn this situation!"
The driver grew angry at Magda's behavior, ordered me to get out and carry the suitcase, then refused to take us.
We had no choice but to walk back... again.
***As we approached the place, Ilon was walking out with the boys—Filip, Szymon, and lliam, I think. They had already moved away by the time we arrived. Szymon waved at us several times. I thought to myself, "Damn it, they could've waited a bit."
Magda asked me to go directly to the office. I spoke briefly with Mir, then she returned with Zuzanna. I sat thinking: why does she always drag Zuzanna along? I understood then—she doesn't want me to be alone with her.
Magda started searching around the office for some papers, opened a few letters, made a call to order a cab, then left... and came back again. She said:
— "Zuzanna, come with me."
Zuzanna moved but turned to me and said:
— "You... stay here."
Then Magda entered the office alone and made a call to someone unknown, saying:
— "I've changed my mind... we're coming."
She sat watching me slyly while checking her watch:
— "Mmm... you have an adoption appointment next week, so you need to stay calm. No need for trouble. I'll bring your papers... it'll be quick. Also, stop hurting yourself. You need to be in good health."
I thought, "Damn it, another lie. She's feeding me false hope about this adoption, but it's all a lie."
Zuzanna came back in:
— "Umm... I think I brought everything."
Magda quickly stood up, then asked me to leave again, repeating:
— "Stay calm."
She meant: "Keep your mouth shut." And I knew that.
In the office, Magda opened the bag she had bought earlier, put Zuzanna's simple belongings inside, closed it, and prepared herself again.
Outside, Mir wasn't there. Anita took Karina's hand and quickly brought her into the room, saying:
— "Magda asked me to gather everyone here until Mir returns."
I thought: "What now? What is she planning to do?"
I heard their quick steps as they left... seconds before a car arrived outside. I couldn't believe it! She's taking her again—but where to?
I immediately opened the door and followed them to the hallway. Magda shouted:
— "You idiot, get back to the room!"
I said:
— "Where are you taking her?"
She screamed:
— "Damn it, girl, how dare you?!"
Zuzanna came up to me and hugged me. The hug hurt because of my injury, and she noticed. She took off her scarf and tied it to support my arm against my neck.
She said:
— "You need to take care of yourself. Magda told me you'll be adopted soon. One day... we'll meet again. I'm going to someone we know, so don't worry."
There was no need to say anything. She's older and wiser. Maybe she's right... maybe not. But I felt dead inside. I knew I couldn't do anything.
Does Szymon know? Will he go with her? I need to do something... where is he now, when I need him?
Time passed, and no one came back. Lina and Anita had to take care of the kids.
The phone rang for a long time... Lina checked it and said:
— "It's not the office—it's from Mir's room."
***Finally, someone knocked on the door... it was Mir holding a large package, looking upset for having to wait so long to receive it. She asked about Magda, didn't find her, then said in frustration:
— "If she was going out anyway, why didn't she go get the package herself? Why send me?"
she muttered:
— "What a jerk."
Lina:
— "The phone rang for a long time."
Mir:
— "From where?"
Anita:
— "Your room."
Mir yelled:
— "What?!"
She rushed to her room. A while later, she came back looking strange and asked about Zuzanna:
— "Where is she?"
Lina:
— "She left with Magda."
Mir:
— "Where to?"
Lina:
— "I don't know."
Mir, angrily:
— "Are you joking? Didn't Zuzanna tell you anything?"
Anita:
— "No, she didn't."
After a moment, Mir asked again:
— "Did Magda say anything? When did they leave?"
Anita:
— "We really don't know, but you can ask Karina—she was with them."
Mir:
— "Right... you, where did they go?"
I answered, pretending to be clueless:
— "I don't know."
She shouted:
— "Really, you savage?! I know you're smart... tell me, what did you hear?"
I thought of distracting her and said:
— "In the morning, we went to the center. Magda met someone, but I was curious and got lost, until Zuzanna found me after I fell down the stairs."
Mir asked:
— "And who did you meet?"
I said:
— "A woman... maybe a friend of Magda's."
I told part of the truth so I wouldn't be accused of lying. Then I added:
—"Oh, I forgot... there was that man, that Bach."
Immediately, Mir went back to her room.
I wanted to follow her, but the pain in my leg stopped me.
After a while, she returned and checked the office door... it was oddly open. She rushed in, surely to check something.
Waiting for Szymon and Filip took forever. The sky began to darken, the sun was setting.
What should I do?