The early hours dragged the chill in with them, the kind that clung to your bones after the fire had died. I sat there until the embers dimmed to dull orange, and the world felt empty again.
I stood and climbed down the RV, the world quiet save for the occasional chirps of birds somewhere in the distance. I walked to Kenny and Katjaa's room, knocking lightly.
Kenny curled beside Katjaa, opened his eyes, along with Katjaa, "You rest, hon, I'll check," He told his wife and got up from the bed, walking toward the door, a few yawns escaping his mouth.
He opened the door, the brightness momentarily blinding him, "Shit," He muttered rubbing his eyes. "Your turn for watch," I said quietly.
He groaned and closed the door behind him. "You're early."
"I need to leave," I said.
He stretched with a grunt, looking out the RV's windows, noting the thin mist rising off the asphalt. "Yeah, alright."
We stood beside the RV. Kenny gave me a solemn look, "Which way are you headed now?" he asked.
"East, I've been to the other three, I just need to find it." I said to him.
"What are you looking for again?" Kenny asked, he didn't know what I was in search of, no one at the Inn knew.
"A safer place," I said, "One where food wouldn't be an issue."
Kenny sighed, 'Why does he have to do everything alone? He could've asked me, or any of us.' He shook his head.
"I hope you do," he muttered and looked at me expectantly.
I nodded, remembering the convo we had.
[Flashback — The Bonefire]
I returned from Hershel's farm without a bullet in my head, after what and I his daughter did, I was sure he would shoot me, or maybe not, he was too religious.
But fortunately, no one found out, except for one person.
I entered the parking lot, and just as I exited the vehicle, I was embraced by Lilly. I kissed her as she let go of me, "You're late." Carley said from the side.
I had told them I'll be back within a few hours, but the circumstances had changed, so I had to return the next morning instead.
Lilly and I chuckled at her act of sounding distant in front of the group. Carley frowned and looked away, embarrassed.
Everyone else gathered—Clementine, Alicia, Katjaa, Duck, Madison. Even Nick. A rare moment of togetherness, brought about only by the promise of something they hadn't seen in a few days—proper food.
Cans and jars had been passed around. Simple thing, and then the freshly cut vegetables.
***
The fire crackled in the centre of the Motor Inn's parking lot, larger than ever before, maybe to dry the inn with the heat. The flames danced in the reflection of their eyes, while the smell of charred wood curled through the night air.
Kenny leaned forward, elbows on his knees, squinting at me through the firelight. "Where'd you get it all?" he finally asked. Maybe there was more where that came from. Hope and despair ran side by side in his tone.
I didn't hesitate. "Hershel's farm."
That brought silence. Even the fire seemed to still for a moment.
Carle looked up at me sharply, her mouth slightly open. Lilly narrowed her eyes. Katjaa looked unsure, even concerned.
Kenny blinked. "Hershel? After you…?" He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to. Everyone knew what happened there— Me cutting off his son's arm in a last-ditch effort to save him
Even the Clarks, all thanks to Clem telling Alicia.
"He let you back on his property?" Kenny asked, shocked and unconvinced.
"Shawn survived," I said calmly.
Carley flinched like the words struck something deep inside her. She looked away, her hands tightening around the cup in her hand. The image of the girl from upstairs flashed before her eyes.
I continued. "He's alive."
"So were the supplies a thank you? Or something else?" Lilly, sitting beside me, asked, her hand resting in mine.
I turned to her, "A trade."
A smile radiated on their faces, finally, a food source that could last for a long time.
"But this might be the first and the last one," I said. "The food I brought back? That was their last spare stock. They don't have the manpower." Nor will.
"Manpower?" Kenny muttered.
"Otis… and Patricia, they are dead," I said, Kenny and Katjaa fliched, while the others fell into silence.
The fire snapped. Duck murmured something in his mother's arms, shifting in his sleep.
No one said anything for a long time after that. Just the sound of wind in the trees, and the faint howls of the walkers somewhere far off.
Eventually, they drifted away—Carley with Clementine, Katjaa silently gathering Duck in her arms, and Madison with her children.
Lilly hugged me, "Come to my room tonight," she whispered in my ear before winking and leaving.
Only Kenny stayed.
He stood across from me, fire casting half his face in gold and the other half in shadow.
"You know I ain't gonna let Katjaa and Duck starve," he said, voice low and hard.
I met his eyes. Didn't need to say anything. Is he planning on leaving? Already?
"I get it. You're doing your best. You've done more than most," he went on. "But we've only got maybe a week left before we are back to practically starving, maybe less."
I nodded. Have I been too lenient on them?
"If you don't find somethin' by then, or even if you did," he said, "I'm taking my family and heading toward Savannah, either way. At least I got a shot at the boat."
I nodded again and clenched my fists. Too soft, I was too soft on them, they don't understand the dangers, not even a bit. I cursed internally, but there was no sign of even a flinch on my face.
[Flashback End]
Kenny climbed up the RV. I stayed for just a second longer, glancing toward where Katjaa and Duck slept.
Only two people in that family were useful. Katjaa—smart, resourceful, a healer in a world bleeding out, but humans were bleeding, not animals. And Kenny—tencious, but reckless. Duck? He was dead weight. Sloppy, loud, and too much of a liability. Not that it mattered now.
But I shelved those thoughts. Cruel logic was the only one I had, I didn't care if Kenny left, not anymore. I could keep Carley, Lilly, and Clementine safe alone—I chuckled as that thought entered my mind.
Fine then. I'll change, maybe for the better. I finally gave in to the thoughts that have been rampant in my mind; I had begun to appreciate and love.
I shouldered my pack, tightened the straps, and stepped out into the grey dawn, The sun was barely rising, filtered behind a curtain of thin clouds, casting everything in a pale, muted blue.
It was time.
I was going to find that dairy. The St. Johns may not even exist in this world, but if they did, they held the kind of infrastructure and security we needed. Fences. Power. Land. A foundation.
And if it were run by monsters?
Well... monsters can be hunted.
I set out in silence, leaving the Motor Inn behind me.
.
.
.