The system had never imagined that someone like Elias—so hassle-free—would end up as its host.
Setting aside the high score from his first S-rank victory, the second time around, he even unlocked a hidden achievement. That alone sent her standing in the system world soaring to new heights.
If only she'd had any real part in it, she might've gone and given a few public speeches about it.
[Host, anything you need, just say the word, okay?]
[Whether I can help or not, as long as you speak up, I'll listen with all my heart!]
That familiar voice rang in his ears, and surprisingly, Elias felt a tiny twinge of... nostalgia for the dumb system.
Of course, that sentiment lasted all of two seconds.
The moment she spat out that second line, the feeling vanished like it'd never existed.
"Cut the nonsense. Just hurry up and get me out of the system space," Elias said, face dark.
[You want to return to the place you were when you were retrieved?]
Big boss had spoken, so the system didn't waste time and got straight to the point.
Elias blinked at that.
"You mean I can leave from somewhere else?"
[Nope.]
"Then what the hell are you even saying?"
The system's crisp, deadpan reply almost made Elias choke on his own breath.
After a bit of time apart, he realized she'd somehow gotten even dumber.
[Well, there's still the option of not leaving...] The system had her reasons.
But after being barked at, she felt a bit wronged.
Still, when she noticed the rather unfriendly look in Elias's eyes, she wisely nodded and said:
[Got it. I'll send you out now.]
As the words fell, the scene in front of Elias began to distort.
It was like being drunk—his world turned completely upside down.
When darkness finally fell over his vision, he reappeared in the same room he'd left from.
It looked like morning. The sun wasn't too harsh yet.
The soft bed beside him was empty—Gardevoir had already woken up.
In reality, not much time had passed, but to Elias, it felt like a lifetime ago.
After all, he'd genuinely spent over a decade in the simulation.
"System, how much real-world time passed during that simulation?" he asked.
[Two days.]
Elias blinked, a little surprised.
He'd lived roughly the same length of time in that world as the previous sim—so why did it take noticeably longer this time?
When he voiced his confusion, the system, for once, gave a reliable answer.
[Oh! I actually know this one!]
[They covered it in training—simulation time isn't fixed. Minor discrepancies between runs are totally normal.]
[Don't worry, it won't cause any major issues.]
That made sense to Elias. It wasn't anything worth dwelling on.
Next, he took a Poké Ball from his belt and held it in his hand.
With a light press on the center button—
"Pop—"
A flash of white light burst forth, releasing a sleek, cream-colored sea serpent.
Under the morning sun, Milotic's scales shimmered in iridescent hues depending on the angle, making her look like a living sculpture painted in color-changing ink—absolutely mesmerizing.
But her expression was far from cheerful. Her watery eyes were veiled in a thin mist, and a few tears clung to the corners.
The moment she appeared in the room, she clearly froze in place.
Then, spotting Elias, she first leaned back slightly in a daze, like she was trying to retreat into a corner.
But then...
Before Elias could even greet her, a smooth, sinuous tail curled up toward him without warning.
His expression shifted.
"Milotic, wait—"
"Miu～"
Before he could finish, her tail had already wrapped tightly around him.
With a graceful but inescapable roll, Elias was effortlessly pulled into her embrace, her sweet little face moving in to nuzzle his.
"Wait—mmph..."
...
...
A little earlier – First Floor of the Villa
On the couch, a shiny Gardevoir lounged with elegance, a steaming cup of milk delicately held in her hand as she sipped.
Across from her, a pink feline with its cheeks puffed out with candy chomped contentedly.
"Mew—"
Sugar coated her mouth and lit up her soul, making Mew let out a satisfied little purr.
"Gar..."
Gardevoir cast her a look of pure disdain, clearly embarrassed to be seen with such a foolish Pokémon.
Just a while ago, this idiotic cat somehow broke out of confinement and wandered her way here.
Thankfully, the moment Mew had the guts to sneak into the house, Gardevoir caught her red-handed.
But this time, Gardevoir didn't act immediately. Instead, she invited Mew to team up and search for Elias.
After all, even if Mew didn't really put in the effort, at least she'd be close enough to keep an eye on.
Left with no choice, Mew could only accept the "gracious" invitation.
But now, two days had passed, and Gardevoir hadn't seen a single sign of Mew taking the search seriously.
What she had seen was a steadily dwindling supply of the sweets she'd originally saved for Elias to feed her.
Crunch—crack—
Watching Mew tear open another bag of rice crackers the moment she finished her candy, Gardevoir finally lost her patience.
"Garde!"
She waved a hand, and all the snacks around Mew vanished in a flash of telekinesis.
Then, she slammed the table, her expression dark and dangerous, a faint blue glow rising from her body.
The message couldn't be clearer.
Mew turned her head, feigning innocence.
She really didn't want to help Gardevoir find Elias.
He'd only get stolen by her again, anyway. Why not just chill and wait it out?
Besides—
The snacks here were all name-brand stuff.
Maybe not as good as the ones Elias made himself, but way better than the junk Sacchi used to bribe her with.
Still, even if that's what she thought deep down, Mew figured she should at least pretend to care.
"Mew? (Once you find Elias, what exactly are you planning to do?)"
She tested the waters with a sly little question.
Gardevoir narrowed her eyes.
She could more or less guess what that dumb cat was scheming, but still answered on purpose:
"Elias's mine. Of course, I'll keep him at home with me, and he's not going anywhere!"
A blatant declaration of ownership.
But hearing that, Mew almost burst out laughing on the inside.
Stupid Gardevoir—brave but brainless, all boobs and no brains.
If Elias had escaped once, he could definitely escape again.
Trying to keep such a person locked down would only backfire.
And when he eventually tried to run again, the first one he'd think of for help—
Would definitely be her, Mew.
---
T/N: lmao the title is [Gardevoir? All boobs, no brains!] does gardevoir even have...
...
Huh. You really stuck it out all the way to the end.
Didn't think you had the patience. Guess I was wrong.
WiseTL's the one who actually made all this come together. I'm just here putting a bow on it… or, well, shoving it in a backpack and calling it a day. Same thing.
If you had fun, you know what to do:
👉 [patreon.com/WiseTL]
Heads up—Patreon's 50% off for all tiers during May. So if you were on the fence? Now's the time.
And if you're the social type, there's a Discord too. Pretty decent spot to hang out—no battles required.
👉 [discord.gg/wisetl]
Alright. That's enough standing around. Go on—before you make it weird.
—Leaf