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January 7th, Sunny
Lately, I've been troubled. Ever since last year's snowy valley incident, I find myself unable to look away from Allen…
I don't know why. I just want to keep watching him. Even when Father takes me home after visiting the knight's estate, I feel reluctant to leave.
I want to keep looking at him.
January 8th, Sunny
Today, I thought about writing a letter to Teacher, asking why I've been feeling this way.
But as soon as I picked up the pen, Allen's face flashed in my mind.
Earlier, on the hillside, Rudy and Allen were talking about Teacher. Allen looked so happy.
I was happy too. I miss Teacher.
Then I remembered something.
Two springs ago, he stood under that tree just like today, the shadows of leaves flickering across his face.
His smile was beautiful.
I want to keep looking at him.
January 17th, Sunny
I finally wrote to Teacher yesterday.
But when I recalled the image of them standing together, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to mention my recent worries.
How strange…
I really wanted to ask why I feel this way.
Why couldn't I write it down?
February 14th, Sunny
Allen said today was a special day. He kept showing off the necklace Teacher Roxy gave him to Rudy.
Why would he brag about that to him?
But Rudy's face looked so sour.
Teacher's necklace is beautiful.
I mentioned in my last letter that I wanted one too…
Would that seem selfish?
Was it made just for Allen?
February 15th, Windy
After yesterday, I think I understand something.
"Adventuring party."
The adventuring party Teacher and Allen talked about… isn't what I imagined.
It feels like their party…
Only has the two of them.
A strange feeling.
Then… where do Rudy and I fit?
If Allen decides to go on adventures with Teacher…
I won't be able to keep looking at him anymore.
March 7th
Today, Allen mentioned Roa by accident. His gaze seemed so distant.
His family situation is complicated—he still can't reveal his identity to them.
But he cares deeply about family. Is that why his eyes looked so far away?
One day, he'll return to Roa, won't he?
If Allen goes home…
Rudy might follow. They're relatives.
But what about me?
Will I be left alone in the village again?
The thought terrifies me.
What should I do…?
March 24th, Sunny
Yesterday, I was still in Buena Village. Now, just one night later, I'm writing this in Allen's home—the Boreas estate in Roa.
It feels unreal.
I didn't have time to write yesterday. Too much happened.
Allen's father and sister suddenly visited. An assassination attempt. Coming to the Boreas estate. My mind is a mess.
But two important things must be recorded.
First:
I realized I've been doubting Allen.
I'm sorry.
He never planned to leave me behind in the village. During the attack, he clearly said he'd return.
Yet I kept overthinking.
When I found out at the knight's house that he always intended to bring me to Roa, I cried. Then, when I saw him return safely from the forest this morning, I cried again.
I'm so useless… He doesn't like it when children cry.
I've been trying to learn how to stay calm and rational like Allen and Teacher, but I still fail.
But…
Allen just comforted me.
His lap was so warm.
I wanted to stay there forever—
Ah! Off-topic!
Second thing!
Since last winter's snowy valley, I've noticed how much Allen cares for the knight's family.
It made me think he values family deeply.
But now, it seems different. Lord Sauros even tried to drive Allen away earlier. His father seemed cold too.
And Allen… seemed to despise them.
Except for one person.
Allen's mother—Lady Hilda.
Whether at our first meeting or during meals, she always seems dazed when looking at Allen.
Allen's expression stays calm.
But he avoids her gaze. At lunch, he gripped his spoon so tightly…
Suddenly, an intuition struck me.
Maybe Allen isn't as strong as he appears.
Sylphiette.
You need to be strong.
No more crying.
If you keep imitating Allen and Teacher, you'll always be trailing behind.
Then you'll never stand beside them—let alone adventure together in the same party.
If Allen isn't as unbreakable as I thought, then…
I want to try protecting him too.
Not by relying on Teacher.
But on my own.
As Sylphiette!
April 1st, Cloudy
I like Allen.
During today's math lesson, while discussing how to divide "1" into two equal parts with Eris, I thought of Teacher Roxy.
Then, this thought surfaced naturally.
Everything unclear became clear—why I always want to watch Allen, why I feel strange whenever Teacher is mentioned.
Because I envy her.
Teacher and Allen are both extraordinary.
He should belong to Teacher.
He isn't my half.
July 21st, Cloudy
Lady Hilda cried today.
Her eyes held both joy and sorrow.
I only felt sorrow.
Allen still hasn't improved.
I'm worried.
October 24th, Snowy (smudged, wrinkled from water stains)
Why?
This time, I was determined. I tried so hard.
Why did I still mess up?
Sylphiette… so useless.
Lady Hilda and Lord Phillip argued. She didn't even try to acknowledge Allen.
She's even sadder now.
I'm so useless.
Someone…
Help me.
Teacher…
Please help me.
Allen needs you.
January 16th, Windy
I've been wallowing in self-pity.
No more.
I promised to protect Allen.
Lady Hilda is trying her best too.
January 24th, Snowy
The plan failed again. But Allen saw everything.
He told me not to give up. (handwriting shaky)
I'm so happy.
Perseverance matters. Effort matters.
If the first try isn't enough, try again.
If the second isn't enough, go for a third.
Today, I even danced the Dance of Love with Allen.
So happy. I felt his warmth again.
During the final pose, I saw Teacher's necklace around his neck.
Swaying gently.
So beautiful.
Just like Teacher's eyes.
I quickly pulled my hand back.
Teacher must have received my last letter by now.
If she comes…
That would be wonderful.
Everything is fine.
The only thing that isn't…
Is that I won't be able to keep looking at Allen like this anymore. (smudged)
But it's okay.
Because…
Sylphiette has been lucky enough.
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