All of it is the same as it used to be... and yet... and yet―
"I'm bored."
***
"Eislehdi, Goddess of Ice, give me your aid. Create the ice that freezes the sun, and so generously allow me to control it. Eislehdi, Goddess of Ice, give me your aid. Create the ice that freezes the sun, and so generously allow me to control it. Eislehdi, Goddess of Ice, give me your aid. Create the ice that freezes the sun, and so generously allow me to control it. Eislehdi, Goddess of Ice, give me your aid. Create the ice that freezes the sun, and so generously allow me to control it. Eislehdi, Goddess of Ice, give me your aid. Create the ice that freezes the sun, and so generously allow me to control it."
...
"Argh! This is so boring!"
The more you do something, the better you get at it. It was a rule of this world.
Even I have started to notice it recently.
Even though I'm doing everything the same way... I'm starting to spend less mana on spells compared to how it was before.
By just casting spells repeteadly, every subsequent cast required just the smallest of bits less mana.
"But how does it make sense?!"
I wasn't doing it any faster, nor was the spell becoming weaker. No, it just strictly took less mana.
It didn't make any logical sense!
'...Welp, it is an Isekai world after all.'
Magic existed, Gods existed. There were already a lot of things that didn't make sense.
I'll just have to accept it. That's all there is to it.
That said―
"This is still boring!"
I just had to cast the same spell over and over and over again until my magic ran dry!
And since I was still recovering from Magic Overload, trying to make the shape without chanting was too dangerous, so I had no choice but to repeat the same sentences dozens of times!
'Just how long does this Magic Overload take to fully heal?!'
Why was a mistake I made just one time following me so far into the future?!
...No, if I think about it like stretching a muscle, then it made a lot of sense.
While I had lived carefully enough to not break any bones in my life, I had once stretched my arm. That also took a long time to heal.
If I applied the same logic here...
...
'But it's different here.'
Back then, I had time to rest, I had the opportunity to rest.
Here? Where danger was a couple of steps away from home?
...Yeah, I also had the opportunity to rest.
I wasn't blind, I could see it clearly. The fact that this world is not as dangerous as I'm making it out to be.
I was overreacting, all because my first two days were horrible. After that, there has not been a single dangerous event.
...Well, at least that was the doubt in my mind before I found out about the Magic Circle spanning the whole country.
Now, I truly didn't have the time to rest.
It was a race against whether the magic circle would activate first, or whether I would stop it, somehow.
"Magic circles, magic circles, magic circles..."
I muttered without much thought.
Magic circles were an extremely intricate way of casting spells, but also an extremely wasteful one.
Magic circles worked in only two dimensions, while mages made shapes in three. Because the magic circles had one less dimension to work with, they had to be several times more intricate.
Of course there was some margin of error, like a line being a bit crooked, but the overall picture had to be correct.
"Which means that just one line is enough to destroy everything."
I could easily mess with the magic circle. In fact, I would probably have to do something like that in the future.
But my meddling would inevitably be found out. There's no way a circle of that scale wouldn't have measures against that kind of problem.
It could be used to slow the progress a bit, but I also had to be careful not to get found out.
"Which is why..."
It is not something I could do with my current capabilities.
If I messed with the magic circle right now by using the entrance I found... well, I would be the only possible suspect, and I will be found out.
After all, everyone else in this village was completely oblivious to its existence. Who else but a newcomer could be the problem?
I scratched my head.
"At the end of the day, there's no choice but to get stronger."
The future. It was all about the future.
There was nothing meaningful I could do right now. I could do nothing but place my hope in the future.
'Why does it always have to be the future? Why the hell does it always have to be the future?! Why am I always useless at the current moment?!'
I banged my hand on the table.
...
Okay, I should calm down. Getting angry at the world here wouldn't do me any good.
...No, that's a lie. Getting angry at myself here wouldn't do me any good.
It is way too easy for me to fall into a downward spiral in my situation. I must not let that happen.
'―――'
"Eislehdi, Goddess of Ice, give me your aid. Create the ice that freezes the sun, and so generously allow me to control it."
In the end, even if it was boring, it distracted me. That is enough.
***
"Heh. Well, I expected it... but it still kinda hurts to hear."
Jagon made a sad smile.
Angelica stared at me.
"You... will leave?"
"Yes, when the six month limit is up, I'm thinking of leaving this village."
I had learned pretty much everything I wanted to.
I asked Jagon for the chants of all tiers and types of spells. I wrote all of that down in my notebook, so I could become stronger as a magician even without him around.
My body was pretty well-toned at this point. I wouldn't call myself strong exactly, but I could continue training my muscles even on the go.
There was no reason for me to stay in this village.
Angelica was looking at me with a smile.
"I see..."
Suddenly, her eyes became downcast.
"...Is it for revenge?"
I understood what was happening. Angelica was misunderstanding my goal completely.
Even though she meant only the best, I... I couldn't help but―
"PFF HAHAHAHA!"
I wipe the tear that got into my eyes.
"Hahahaha! Rev― Pff, Revenge?!"
I couldn't help but tear up.
"Oh dear. Oh, that's so funny."
I looked at her with a smile(?).
"Angelica."
At this point, I wasn't sure what expression I was making.
"I don't have the leeway to worry about something like that."
***
Looking at all the children happily playing with their kites, I couldn't help but get energized.
Surprisingly, even though this has been happening for the past couple of weeks, I didn't grow bored of the sight.
"...Are you feeling nostalgic?"
I scratched my head at Jagon's question.
"Kinda? I know I'll be leaving soon, so I won't be able to see this sight again. I'd say I'm more melancholic than anything."
Jagon nodded. He didn't comment on what I said yesterday, but he has been wearing a more serious expression ever since. Of course, only I and Angelica were able to notice that seriousness.
"Say, you said this was going to be our final and most important lesson. Care to elaborate?"
I tore my eyes away from the kids. I wanted to look more, but I knew it would just hurt me.
I was shocked when Jagon said this was going to be our last lesson. After all, I still had a month left before leaving, but I accepted the circumstances without complaints.
"Yes. First, I have a question. Do you plan to not use Natural Body-Strengthening going forward?"
I nodded.
"I see. Then, our first mission today is going to be you learning to mask that fact. After all, not using Natural Body-Strengthening is really weird, you'd definitely stand out like that, and that's not something you want, right? Now, turn on mana sensing."
I did as he said.
"Observe how my mana is right now. You're gonna have to replicate that."
I closed my eyes to focus better.
But it was nothing that complicated. It just felt like Jagon was surrounded on all sides with a thin layer of his own mana. Of course, it was most likely not thin, it just felt like that because you couldn't sense beyond enclosed spaces.
"For a split second I'll turn off Natural Body-Strengthening. You'll have to see what you currently look like in that small timeframe."
Jagon was willing to go that far for me? I was pleasantly surprised.
Just like that, the steady and clean 'skin' of mana was gone. Instead, it was replaced by a chaotic mess. It still had the rough shape of Jagon, but it constantly shifted and moved around. That was all I managed to sense in that time.
'Alright, I understand it now.'
I manipulated the mana inside of me until I was covered by a film of mana. It wasn't being used, it was just there.
"How is it?"
"Not bad, but it is a bit unstable. Your control of mana isn't good enough to perfectly copy the stillness of Natural Body-Strengthening."
'Yeah, I expected as much.'
I opened my eyes and looked at Jagon.
"This is... a process I will be forced to train to the point it becomes as natural as breathing, huh?"
This next month will probably be spent on that alone. And even then, it will not be perfect.
I scratched my head. I liked more ways to be busy... but even I had to admit that it was too much at this point.
The worst part? It wasn't even over yet. Jagon still clearly had something to say to me, hinted at by the fact that he said 'First'.
Just like I thought, Jago coughed.
"That's that. Now, I will teach you the most important technique of all."
I couldn't help but perk up at that.
"I will teach you how to increase your mana capacity."
My eyes widened.
'So there was something like that in this world after all...'
It wasn't a world built solely on talent, or 'who had more mana'. Effort was important too.
Still, even then, I couldn't help but feel sad. Just thinking of the word talent always made me that way.
"Get into a comfortable position, this'll take a while."
I sat down and crossed my legs, it was the position people always took while meditating in movies. But I quickly realized that this position wasn't comfortable at all, so I just lied down on the ground instead.
"Close your eyes and focus on all the processes your mana goes through. Do you feel some mana leaving your body? Stop it. Forcefully keep that mana inside of you."
I held onto all of the mana I could. Soon, my body started heating up and my mind started feeling heavy. Eventually, it reached a point where my body wasn't taking in more mana from the outside.
"Has your body stopped absorbing mana?"
I nodded.
"That's a self-defence mechanism of your body. It makes sure that you don''t accidentally have too much mana at the same, as that would kill you. Now, absorb more mana from the atmosphere. The moment that it feels like too much, stop absorbing, and instead fully focus on keeping all of the mana inside you."
While not letting the mana in my body escape, I start taking even more from the atmosphere. It is painful, but I have tortured my brain so many times at this point, that I know exactly where to stop.
Just at the moment where I know my mind is not going to be able to keep going, I stop forcefully absorbing mana.
My whole body burns, my mind too. It felt like I had a headache, but everywhere on my body at the same time.
It wasn't like muscle pain, and it wasn't like a sauna. It was an internal unfamiliar pain.
'Still, this isn't too bad...?'
It felt like the kind of pain you could get used to. Was that a weird opinion to have?
"Once again, the moment you feel like you can't handle holding in that mana, release it."
I waited until I couldn't handle it anymore... and waited... and waited... but the moment never came.
Instead, slowly but surely it actually started feeling better.
And eventually, it stopped hurting altogether.
Even before opening my eyes, I knew exactly what happened.
"That took hours, didn't it?"
I was right. The moment I opened my eyes, Jagon wasn't here anymore, and it was already sunset.
I stretched. My muscles have become sore before I noticed it.
Then, as soon as I remembered it, I started manipulating my mana until it looked like I was using Natural Body-Strengthening.
"It does feel like I have a bit more mana."
It wasn't much, only about a 3% increase, but that was good enough. It was a process I could do as many times as I wanted, after all.
"You're done?"
I nodded.
"Yeah, I am. Also, please don't creep up behind my back next time around. I almost screamed like a girl from how sudden it was."
Jagon chuckled.
"That's all the more reason to do it. How do you feel?"
"I feel fine. I was surprised that it only got easier with time ―is really the only thing I can say. Well, no, I'm actually also a bit happy, now that I think about it."
Visible progress always makes me happy, and this was exactly that. In fact, I could feel a small smile appearing on my face from a 'job well done'.
"That's good. You see, most people can't handle the pain, and usually let go after a couple of seconds. Because of this, they have to do it over and over again while taking breaks inbetween. I wasn't sure whether you'd be the same."
I scratched my head. I was probably the same, all things considered.
It was just that my Mind Overload kept me from taking in more mana. I didn't stop when I couldn't handle the pain, I stopped when my mind wouldn't be able to handle the pressure. Those are two different things.
"Yeah? Well, I guess I'm just cool like that. ...Wait, is being used to pain cool or not?"
Just like that, I went down a rabbit hole of my own thoughts. Just that small, little sentence was enough for me to completely go off topic.
"Hey, I have a question for you."
I was brought back from my thoughts at that.
"What is it?"
Jagon looked me in the eyes. It felt like he was trying to pierce into the deepest parts in my heart.
He failed, obviously.
"What's your name?"
My small smile disappeared.
With the sun over the horizon, a shadow loomed over my face, courtesy of my now grown hair.
"I don't know."
Jagon raised an eyebrow in question.
I turned to him, my face still covered in darkness.
"Your name is the thing that grounds your self to you the most. Even if you are lost in thought, even if you are on the brink of consciousness and unconsciousness, your name always manages to get your attention and keeps you grounded. As such, getting rid of it was my utmost priority."
Before Jagon could ask the obvious question, I continued my explanation.
"Your brain forgets unimportant things. Do you remember yesterday in full detail? Do you remember the day exactly a month ago? Of course you don't. That is unnecessary information, so your brain throws it away. I just had to do the same with my name. Every single memory that I had where my name was mentioned, I had to make sure my brain thought it was unimportant. It did the rest for me. It took a long time, four and a half months to be exact, but it worked."
I smiled.
"Now, the only name in my memories is Faun. I do not have a name anymore."
Jagon was frozen for my whole explanation. Was it from pity? Empathy? Shock? I wanted to know, but I couldn't.
"But how could you just choose which memories are unimportant to you? It's not something people are capable of."
I smiled.
"I got lucky. All of my most important memories do not mention my name. In all of them, I am just referred to as 'you'. "I love you", "If I can't have you, nobody can have you". That kind of stuff. Even I am not good enough to forget my happiest and most traumatic moments."
For the first time in my life, luck played a very critical role in something.
Was it perhaps poetic that the only time luck was so important was when it was for the sake of erasing my self?
'If it isn't poetic, then it's definitely funny. I, who hate luck, am getting erased because of luck.'
I chuckled. It was funny when I really thought about it.
Anyway, now that my training with Jagon was done and I knew everything I wanted to...
'My life inside this village is finally coming to an end.'