"I actually prefer it in the north; not as many nobles running around...just people living and making a living. It's also mighty cold
---- quote from a merchant from one the northerly-focused caravans
The road was long and it seemed to go on forever. For awhile time did seem to stand still for those traveling with the merchant caravan. Alexandra, Zooey, Sophia, and Luca had settled in nicely, each finding work to do in the caravan to make up for them tagging along and also to keep themselves occupied.
It was nice traveling with others, quite a large group in fact. Everyone in the procession was very kind and generous, Alexandra enjoyed traveling with them. Even Zooey seemed to lighten up a bit and found joy in being part of the groups that patrolled around the line of wagons keeping it safe from any raiders or wild animals that ventured too close. Luca had learned how to ride a horse quite well during their weeks on the road since they left Gylesmoore, he could go pretty fast now and was very confident on his mount. He joined the group of men and women that cared for the animals that were brought along with the group.
Sophia meanwhile was putting some of the skills she had picked up while working with the other servants in Lerwick to good use and was part of the group that patched holes in the clothes of the men who worked around the caravan. She enjoyed the company and talked as they sewed and hemmed.
Alexandra liked traveling around the large caravan and had volunteered to be a runner, carrying supplies and messages up and down the length of the line. She got to see new people and all the different carriages. It also kept her outside in the clean northern air; she loved every minute of it. At night, they would all return to their carriage, swap stories, eat dinner, then head to bed and start cycle all over again. For a while, Alexandra almost forgot about the world of troubles they were running from and probably running to at the same time, almost.
A few nights later when they were encamped on the side of the highway, the real world came crashing back in.
Alexandra was carrying a basket of leftover food down the caravan back to her friends when she heard the familiar sounds of galloping horses echoing down the highway.
She tensed up.
The last time she had heard that exact sound they had barely escaped into a field of tall grass to hide. She almost dropped the basket she was carrying.
Maybe it was people from the caravan?
No.
It was late and she knew that the last group that had been out riding had come back hours ago, Luca had been with them after all and Alexandra had waived to them as they rode back in.
Andry emerged from his carriage and stood next to the highway, ready to meet whatever was thundering down it. People that were out of their carriages quickly were returning to them, seeking safety inside. Alexandra ducked behind one of the curled-up metal legs of the carriage directly behind her, catching her top on one of the metal screws and ripping it. Ignoring it she dove behind the leg. She hooked the basket around her arm and began crawling, using the dormant legs as cover as she inched closer and closer to where Andry was.
The silhouettes of the riders were black against the night landscape as they drew closer. Alexandra's muscles tensed up, she was ready to run if it was someone coming for her and her friends.
The riders began to slow and drew up in front of Andry. For what Alexandra could see, he was wearing a blue and gold tunic, a large sword at his belt. The other riders drawing close also were all wearing large and intimidating weaponry, their tunics a variety of colours.
The lead rider took off his riding gloves and addressed Andry. "Hail there. We are a National Patrol; declare yourselves."
"We are a merchant caravan," Andry's voice was firm and unwavering, "if you are here to demand more taxes or to force an intrusive inspection on us, please know that we have already..."
"Fear not," the soldier interrupted, "we are not here to extort you. You seem to have a low opinion of National Patrols."
"If I may be so bold," Andry was unafraid, "more and more these days, the National Patrols act like raiders, taking supplies as they desire and demanding 'service fees' from the travelers."
"Ah yes," the lead rider even chuckled a little, "there is truth in what you say, I am sad to admit. Be at peace good merchant, we are not here for that purpose. You are referring to the Patrols that are of only House Cornelius' men, yes, I have heard the stories as well. Look at us, our tunics tell you we are not from that, ah, um, venerable House. I too am troubled by what we have heard but have been rendered powerless by the Landskyp to do anything about it."
Andry was relieved. "You are a welcome sight indeed though if you are a friend. It seems things are getting hard everywhere."
"Things are going to get worse, let me warn you. We are riding so hard because we have been recalled to Avindr. Upon arriving there, the Patrol will be changed and made up of only House Cornelius' men, all of us will be sent back to our respective Houses. Travel will only get harder for the commoners, especially for merchant caravans such as yours. Please, reach your destination quickly lest you run into House Cornelius' patrols."
"We are destined to Alloa."
The soldier now sounded relieved, "then you are but a day or two from it; very good. I am probably speaking treason by telling you this but," he leaned in closer, "don't count on the National Patrols anymore, they don't have your interests at heart, just their own."
"We are keenly aware of that," Andry nodded, "us merchants have to stay well-informed in order to do business successfully."
"Any more information than what I have told you I do not know," the rider was regretful of that fact, "all we know is we are to report to Avindr so House Cornelius can replace us with their own men. They say it is for 'consistency and security', at least so says the official note. There's no accountability, no balance. Well, just stay safe, good citizen."
"Thank you, your kindness is appreciated. We long for the days when the National Patrol was a welcome sight."
"As do we."
"Can you tell us if there would be any obstacles between us an Alloa?"
"As far as I know we are the only Patrol this far north. Alloa has some soldiers in it, but they are good men, they haven't been replaced by House Cornelius men yet, at least not that I have heard. The soldiers in Alloa should treat you well, they still remember what their purpose is."
The soldier looked around, then leaned closer, "but be careful, House Cornelius has agents everywhere these days it seems, all reporting back to the ever-listening ears of Radulfus Cornelius himself."
"Again, you are very kind for speaking plainly, we thank you."
The rider nodded and spurred his force forward again. The other soldiers followed him and in but a moment, they were once again hurrying away down the great highway. Alexandra remained hidden as Andry stood there for a few minutes more. He finally sighed, rubbed his eyes, and returned to his carriage. Making sure the door was closed, Alexandra shimmied out between the folded legs of the carriage she was hiding under and began heading for her own carriage.
The words the rider had spoke were replaying in her head: House Cornelius was replacing all the Patrols with their own men, things were going to get harder for everyone. No matter how far they went, House Cornelius' influence and machinations seemed to already be there. She was a little relieved though truth be told, the rider had not spoken kindly towards House Cornelius, that mean that at least there those out there not blindly doing Cornelius' bidding.
She realized her hands were shaking, she had been very afraid at the approach of the Patrol, more so than she had first thought.
What if they had been Cornelius' men? What if they had come to take her away? What if they came to hurt her friends?
Alexandra was terrified, she realized how fragile their freedom that they were enjoying so much was. It could end at any moment, it would only take one person to turn them in. She was glad they were so close to Alloa and the Mountains, soon this crazy journey would be over and they could hide out somewhere and wait for everything to blow over.
"There you are."
Alexandra stopped, startled out of her thoughts. She had become lost in her head and had not heard the silhouette now in her path approaching.
Standing before her was Zooey, sweat dripping from her forehead, hand resting on her sword. She was breathing heavily as if she had been running.
"Zooey? What's...," began Alexandra before Zooey angrily cut her off.
"Where have you been?! Everyone was worried! We expected you back ages ago; and we heard horses..."
"Oh," Alexandra realized she had disappeared without a word for a while, "I'm sorry, it's just that I was trying to hear..."
"We heard horses," she repeated, not waiting for her to finish again. "I ran all the way along the caravan, and...and...and I...we thought you'd been taken!"
Alexandra stopped what she was about to say, Zooey's words had surprised her. She knew her friend had been distant with her ever since Gylesmoore, and even though she was fuming and berating her now, she could plainly see the intense worry in Zooey's eyes.
"I'm sorry," Alexandra lowered her head, "I didn't mean to upset anyone."
"Always getting into trouble!" Zooey snapped, not in the mood for apologies of any kind.
Alexandra chose her next words carefully. "Zooey, is something the matter?"
Her friend bit her lip, mouth quivering. Zooey removed her hand from her sword, letting it hang at her side. Her fists were balled up, squeezing tightly against themselves.
She took in a deep breath and brought her eyes up to meet Alexandra's. "You always go off and get yourself in trouble, you never think about yourself! You always just decide on an action and do it, damn the consequences. You decided to see the Watchers even though they might have killed you, you decided to force the issue when you were in the Winnowing Chamber alone, you decided to go to the Mountains despite the dangers on the road and being a named fugitive, you decided to go into that burning house alone! You chose to do it alone! You don't think, you just act!"
Alexandra was surprised at the sudden outburst, it seemed like it had been pent up for quite awhile. Another thing that surprised her was Zooey's complaints were not because of the hardships they had faced, not one of her points was about the trouble Alexandra had gotten her friends into. She was confused, she did not understand where Zooey was coming from.
"You went into that burning house," Zooey was still venting, "without thinking you could have died! You just did it, for a stranger! Again, you did it all alone!"
Alone.
Alexandra thought she should be all alone after all the trouble she'd put her friends through.
"Zooey," Alexandra tried to feel her way through the conversation, "are you mad because I didn't ask you to help me in the burning house? Is that why you're angry with me?"
"It never would have crossed your mind!" Zooey railed at her, "you didn't even think about anything except going into that house. Same old Alex!"
"Zooey!" Alexandra tried to call after her friend as she stomped off but her words fell on deaf ears and Zooey continued her determined march.
Some people were peeking out of their carriages now, hearing the commotion just outside. Alexandra stood there and watched her friend disappear in the distance further along the line of resting carriages.
She did not know what to say, she wished she could just say she was sorry and have everything be okay between them again, but she was unsure of where the anger directed at her was coming from.
A soft voice in her head told her that she would understand perfectly if Zooey had yelled at her for getting them into this whole mess, if she complained about how hard it was traveling on the road, if she complained about being imprisoned in Lerwick, but none of that had come up. Was all that fueling the fire though? Had Zooey finally had enough of all the trouble Alexandra had got them into and just was not saying it? If her friends had finally realized they would be safe without her, then she truly was alone.
Better to be alone.
Alexandra frowned, she had never thought that before, so why did she think that now? She always wanted her friends with her.
Better to be alone than be selfish with other people's lives.
Alexandra felt an intense weight on her; she cleared her throat, the pressure making it hard to breathe for a moment as if someone had wrapped hands around her neck. She knew she was selfish, being glad her friends were with her despite all the dangers they faced. Alexandra told herself that she was selfish for wishing they were with her as she dragged them further and further into danger.
What kind of friend was she? Alexandra hung her head and resumed her walk back to their own carriage. Zooey had stomped off in the opposite direction, Alexandra knew she probably would not return until the others were asleep so she could avoid saying anything more to her.
Her thoughts were swirling and her heart heavy as she walked back along the line. Most of the candle lights inside the carriage windows were out. It was very late now, the people getting rest for the night, getting ready for the final few days of travel before they arrived at the great northern city of Alloa.
The wind was picking up, carrying with it a distinctive chill. The temperature had been dropping daily the farther north they went; Alexandra did not want to even think about how cold the Rotsen Mountains must be! Even though the terrain was steadily inclining and becoming rocky, they were still in the relative open countryside, at the mercy of the winds. Her pendant was cold against her skin, but she refused to take it off, she never would.
Bringing her eyes up off the ground, Alexandra was surprised at what she saw as she approached the carriage her and her friends had been sharing during the trip. Sitting outside the carriage on the step in the blistering cold was Sophia, anxiously looking up and down the line of darkened carriages that stretched out in either direction.
When she finally saw Alexandra, her eyes lit up, her worried expression melting into one of welcome and relief.
"You're okay," her voice was free of anger or recrimination, "we were worried."
"I'm sorry," Alexandra murmured sheepishly as she came over to the step, "c'mon, scoot"
Sophia smiled and slid over, allowing Alexandra to sit down next to her on the step.
"Zooey went looking for you when you didn't come back."
"I know," the encounter with Zooey was still burning in her ears, "she gave me a good tongue-lashing when she found me. She's pretty mad at me."
"She was worried," Sophia tried to calm Alexandra, "I can only imagine what she said, but don't let her tough shell fool you, she was very worried about you just like me and Luca. She, well she just has trouble with expressing that sometimes you know."
"Everything she said though," the words were burning just as much now as before, "it was all true. She was mad because she said I don't think, I just act, and don't think about the consequences. All this mess I've gotten you all in..."
"That's not it at all," Sophia stopped her, "she's angry because she wants to help; her pride is wrapped up in how she fights and how brave she is."
"She's incredibly brave," Alexandra could not even count the times Zooey had been extraordinary, "and she's one of the best with the sword, the guards in Lerwick know that much now."
"She is," Sophia agreed, "and all of self-worth is tied to that for better or worse. She's mad about the burning house because you didn't ask to help, you ignored her courage and skill and took on the entire burden on your own."
"But there wasn't any time," Alexandra was just staring straight ahead into the moonlit night, "and besides, it was so dangerous. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt, especially one of my friends, and..."
"That doesn't matter to Zooey," Sophia put her hand on her friend's shaking shoulder, "she's here because she's your friend and she wants to be. She's angry you didn't turn to her for help, she wants to be there with you, to help protect you, like she's done the whole time you two grew up together in the slums."
"This is all different, back in the slums it was just gangs of other Oonskat or angry soldiers who thought we were underfoot. This is the big world and it's much bigger than the slums ever were. The problems out here are more complicated, harder, and far more dangerous."
"All the more reason she feels she needs to prove herself to herself and others, including you."
"Doesn't make sense." Alexandra did not need Zooey to prove anything to her, she never doubted her courage or heart.
Sophia's voice was comforting, "Zooey has great pride, that's helped her survive, but it also is a beast she's constantly fighting inside. When you don't turn to her for help, you wound her pride; that's why she's angry I think."
Alexandra sighed, "I just wish all this was over."
"Are you all right?" Sophia suddenly asked, her hand feeling the missing piece of her tunic she had ripped when she hid under the carriage earlier.
"Yeah, just caught myself on something."
Her shirt had torn on her left shoulder, partially exposing her always-hidden 'Benham' tattoo. The moonlight reflected off of the metallic branding, giving off a soft glow.
Sophia brushed her fingers against it, "all this time, I forgot you carried this."
"It's best no one knows," Alexandra was suddenly conscious of her tattoo again, a physical mark of rejection and disgust. "I told Andry when he agreed to let us come along with his caravan that we were Oonskat, it didn't seem to bother him at all. But, if people found out I was named then cast out from a Noble House, well, I think there are some social stigmas that no one could get over. He's very kind to let us come along with them, but if he knew about this then he'd probably send us away or even turn us in."
The tattoo was cold to the touch, the skin surrounding it red and inflamed slightly.
"Does it hurt?"
Every day.
"The colder it gets." Alexandra had been acutely aware of a growing soreness in her shoulder the past few weeks, more so than usual.
Her friends knew that it bothered her constantly, but she never complained or mentioned it. They had all noticed it though, at times Alexandra would lie awake at night, gripping her shoulder in silent pain, or she'd grimace when trying to reach for something up high. No one said anything, because they knew she did not want it to become a handicap, something out in the open, something for the others to worry about. They did worry anyway.
Sophia wished she could do something to help her friend. "It's terrible."
"I try not to think about it, but it's always there no matter what."
A mark of rejection from polite society, from family. A mark that made her different from everyone else, a mark that made her a vile creature. It constantly hurt truth be told, the metal leeching off into her skin and the rest of her body. Like a long dormant poison or parasite it settled itself in, spreading more and more over the years. Sophia could tell it was weighing on Alexandra as she sat there silently, staring off into nothing.
Sophia clasped her hand over the tattoo, firmly holding her friend's shoulder. She leaned in and gave Alexandra a reassuring hug, she knew it was the only thing she could do right now.
"Thanks," Alexandra blinked, breaking out of her thoughts, brought back to the present.
Sophia tried to lighten the mood, "but we are almost at the city. It's been forever, but we're almost at the Mountains."
"Alloa is just a day or two away," Alexandra looked back at the highway, "and hopefully the end to this crazy trip. I don't even know what I'm supposed to find there. Miss Florence just said go to the Mountains."
"I'm sure everything will be okay and make sense." It was a rare time indeed when one would find Sophia not being the optimist of the group. "I am sad though, it means we'll probably leave the caravan; there are so many kind and wonderful people here."
"Yeah," Alexandra thought the same, "everyone's been really great. I think Luca's really enjoying working with the animals."
"Have you seen him ride?" Sophia asked enthusiastically, "he was going so fast earlier!"
"He's quite the rider now, you'd think he'd been doing it his whole life"
"He's already inside asleep, said he was going out with the first light's ride to scout ahead. He couldn't wait, he said the sooner he went to sleep the sooner tomorrow would come."
"Great, we'll have to get him a horse now," joked Alexandra.
"I think that's the case," Sophia laughed.
Alexandra stood and offered her hand to Sophia, "come on, if we stay out here any longer we'll catch the death of cold."
The westerly wind blew cold that night; gales coming from far off, originating somewhere deep in the endless flatland of the Distansera battering the sides of the caravan as they sat at rest. The carriages were built for such hardships though and they kept the cold out, protecting the several hundred that were part of the merchant caravan. There was excitement in the air, the great city of Alloa drew closer.
Alloa was the largest city in the north by far, not nearly as big as Avindr but rivaling it in modernity. It had real paved streets, steam-powered street lamps, buildings that were stone and mortar, not hardened clay or just wood. It was also at the intersection of three major highways: the one the caravan was traveling along now, one that snaked to the west along the Great Woods and then all the way to south to the Saile, and a third that stretched east to the Distansera.
Most people in the caravan had been to the city several times, it was a regular stop towards the end of every traveling season, but it was to be the first time for the four Oonskat fugitives traveling with them.
Alexandra was fearful of being back in a real city, what if they had heard of Alexandra and would detain her as soon as she was seen? But at the same time, she was excited to see the distant city, a city that had seemed worlds away when she was in the slums.
She had never known it's name, but she was aware of the northern city from just hearing idle talk in the Market District. Even though technically the Rotsen Mountains marked the geographical northern border of Prydain, Alloa was really the border, the last dot of civilization on the map in that direction. Beyond it were the unforgiving and uncharted mountain range that almost seemed to touch the sky.
An old myth on northern Prydain was that if one scaled the tallest peaks of the Rotsen Mountains then they would be able to touch the outstretched hand of the creator of the world. Of course such religious and mythological views no longer hold any weight in the modern industrial age. Steam power put to rest fear of the unknown and the belief in any form of supernatural existence outside of the present and physical here and now. But still, the Mountains overlooked the land and held a certain mystique that drew people's imaginations to them.
The next two days would pass quickly as the end of the highway came ever closer. With each mile traveled, the city was ever more in reach and the end of their journey was within their grasp.