Chapter 99 – What to Do? (2)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
Juho stared at the screen where he saw two manuscripts for two separate books – a book about sand on the left, and another that was yet to be written. He thought back to Mr. Moon's announcement about putting the novels written by the club members on display. There would be a publication ceremony that was both humble and unofficial. He pictured himself being part of the ceremony with his composition. Both anxiety and excitement tended to stir up simultaneously when doing something for the first time.
He turned his eyes back to the empty page on the right side of the screen. 'What to do with this one, the twin born at the same place?' Because Juho had been so distracted with writing, the thoughts about the aftermath had never entered his mind.
Though there was no way to tell how that story would turn out, he still wanted to give it his all in writing it. He wanted to start something that matched the scale of the book and its grand beginning. In that case, it would be best to write with publishing it in mind. At the core of it, the new approach would be:
"Submission."
In other words, he had the option of sending his manuscript directly to the publishing company instead of the school exhibition. His debut title having made him a bestselling author, that was something Juho had never done before.
"What if I used a different alias?"
Considering how many people were reading his book because of his name, the approach felt somewhat risky. Of course, he had every reason to be grateful toward his readers for reading his book. Yet, he couldn't help but ask himself: 'What if it was under a different name? Would my work still be received the same way?' He wanted to find out and see it with his own eyes. 'What if I published a book under a different alias, and it's just as successful as Yun Woo? What if I can move the hearts of my readers just as much?' If his theories were to be true, they would certainly contribute to his motivation to write. He would feel more free.
A goal had been set. Two stories. Born on the same day and time. Polar opposite of each other.
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The first draft for the short story had been completed. All it needed was to be revised. As for the full-length one, it was just the beginning. It was a story about a recently set goal. Things that changed and things that didn't. One about a humble daily life and the other about an exaggerated tale of an adventurer. A short story, and a novel. Juho moved the mouse cursor about. The screen showed an empty, untitled page. It was time for him to write about the man at the beach.
Juho thought back to his encounter with the man. He had been sensitive to languages, rude, rough around the edges, and reckless. Fortunately, he had changed as time passed by. He had learned to take himself seriously and practiced patience. His distasteful personality had begun to evolve into something more grounded.
Juho felt something grainy in his mouth. The timid woman at the beach had said that there were things in the world that remained unchanged. Juho didn't try to suppress her influence in his thoughts. Things that changed and didn't change were not all that distant from one another.
The man changed over time, but some things never changed. Although he had learned to be more serious and patient, parts of his rough, reckless personality were still intact deep within. Given the right conditions and circumstances, he was more than capable of acting on his old personality.
Juho wanted to place him in a gargantuan space. After all, he was confident when he said that he would cross the sea. It was human nature to test a confident braggart at their words. A space that shrunk a person to a microscopic existence. Enormous background. Juho intended to give the man the adventure of his life. Such environment suited him, and it had been the reason for why Juho decided to write a fantasy novel. He listed words to fill that empty world with.
"There's a protagonist, which means there has to be other people. It's a world for people to live in, but they're not the only ones alive. There are animals and plants. There's life and the land that would sustain them. There's also water, the sky and the sun.
An enormous continent and plateau. Lake and ocean. They mostly froze and melted repeatedly, except for the parts of the world where things stayed frozen or liquid. There was dry and wet sand. Lands full of life and desolation. There were creatures flying in the sky and crawling on the ground, communicating, trading, and migrating. In order to make all those things possible, there had to be a language, which meant there was intelligence.'
"Having intelligence means..."
It meant that the world wouldn't always be peaceful.
'War breaks out. Weapons are made, killing lives. Waters are contaminated. Bodies get buried. A new lifeform that feeds on corpses comes into existence. Tragedy continues, terror reigns. Sanitation no longer becomes a priority. People aren't the only threat to their own kind. An epidemic. People are dying in massive numbers, but there are survivors. There are always survivors. They continue living, leaving their descendants. Those descendants leave their own descendants. Time flows by. The war comes to an end, and the epidemics disappear. Life begins to regenerate.'
Juho decided to go further. Death. Things that remain unchanged. The inside of his mouth felt rough still. Maybe he was getting tired. He wrote another set of words: Eternal Life. Immortality.
"God."
'There are written documents that record their existence. Mythology. The existence of language also meant that there were records. Naturally, people grew older, but history exists long before birth, and it will continue to exist long after death.'
Juho decided to give that world more structure.
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'Let's give it perspective. From whose point of view should I be looking? Should I be the ground? Maybe the water? Plants doesn't sound like a bad idea either. Maybe a bird? An ordinary person? God Himself? The world?'
Juho imagined the time when God was born, when He died, when He was forgotten, and then rediscovered.
'The world changed over time. Powers were exercised, and cultures were formed. Everything repeated the process of death and birth. There was God. Though immortal, He was being forgotten. Why? Why would an eternal being be forgotten?'
Juho moved his hands busily and added a reason.
'If unseen, unrecorded, unlearned and unthought of, an existence will be forgotten eventually. Maybe He went to a different place? Hiding from the creatures, erasing traces of His existence. There has to be a place, a place to hide God in. Where could that be? Large continents. Epic background. Where can I hide Him in?'
His hand suddenly stopped. Rising from his chair, Juho walked over to the corner of the room where there had put a box with a globe he had recently ordered. Taking a box cutter, he cut the box open. 'This is possessed and made by a human. Now, it's being opened by a human. What about God? Would it be the same for Him? Would I need humans if I were to openly reveal His existence? Yes, I would. God exists for humans. They are the ones who discovered God. If I were to rediscover a God who had been forgotten, I would need humans.'
The globe revealed itself as he peeled the packaging away. It wasn't all that big. Juho spun it, and the speed with which it spun would depend on the amount of force exerted on it. Suddenly, he stopped the spinning globe and spun it slower the next time. The land. The water. Spinning. He was looking for a place to hide God.
'Why was that place made in the first pace, and how did God know about it? Would He know everything there is to know about this world just because he's God?' Juho immersed himself in thought, thinking about how he wanted to portray God in the story. The globe kept spinning. Round. Sphere.
"Gu."
The pigeons cry made a similar sound. It was also the number nine, "Gu," and the measurement used for counting things in a sack. In addition, it also meant something old in Chinese characters. Juho felt a sharp pain in his mouth.
(TL's note: "Goo" is a way to say "sphere" in Korean. Also, Koreans describe a pigeon's cry as "Goo, goo.")
"Ip Gu."
(TL's note: "Ip" is the Korean pronunciation for the Chinese word meaning"to let in," while "Gu" is for the word "Mouth." Together, "Ip Gu" translates to entrance.)
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An entrance. Juho took hold of the hole that was floating around in his head.
'If I were to hide God in here, no one would be able to find Him. How did this hole come about? History would know, and somebody had to have left left a record of it somewhere. It might have changed over time as it was passed onto the later generations, but it'd still be around. That same record had been passed onto that man. Rude, rough around the edges, reckless, sensitive to language.'
"A story hidden within mythology."
'While reading mythology, he discovers the hidden code about the existence of God. With that, he sets out on an adventure to discover the truth. It's his destiny. It's up to him to rediscover God.'
Juho spun the globe again.
'The world was spinning. Sand came together and made a continent while water made the sea. The sun was in the sky. There was also rain occasionally. Just rain? Maybe ashes and hail too. There were places where nobody lived in – desolate places, unable to sustain life. Even God didn't exist in such lifeless regions
'The world kept growing in size. There were animals that lived in harmony with humans. They had to have witnessed history, perhaps even putting them in places closest to God.'
The sphere kept spinning. It kept spinning on its own without the hand spinning it, or any form of force being exerted on it. It was the energy within, giving birth to life. Uninterrupted, the sphere kept spinning. It'd spin forever. That would remain unchanged. The sphere kept spinning. Time flowed by. The geography changed over time. The land quaked, while the mountains gushed out fire, and the ocean froze. When Juho put his hand onto the globe, the globe finally stopped spinning. There was land on the globe painted in white. That was the adventurer's destination. Crossing the continents and the seas, climbing the mountains, the man set out on a quest to meet the God from myth.
"All right. Now..."
'I need to come up with the mythology the man had read and the stories within it. I have to think about how he was born and how he would die. The background needs to be more elaborate and solid. The North Pole is already mysterious on its own, but the story itself can't be ambiguous.'
Juho was excited for the stories to come.
He thought about the myths he knew. Greek and Roman mythology, Northern European mythology, the Dangun mythology, etc. They were stories made up by someone, passed down from mouth to mouth, gathered, and written. There had to be parts that had gone missing or that had been added in the process. It was completely natural.
'Rumble.' Juho was hungry. 'Maybe I should eat something.' When he checked the time, it was already well past lunch time, and he realized he hadn't eaten all day. The moment he recognized his stomach as empty, the hunger grew more intense. 'What's in the fridge?'
Even as he rose from his seat and opened the door, Juho didn't stop thinking about the setting. 'Just like how there's a new environment on the other side of the door, maybe there's another world on the other side of the hole.' Because an ordinary land felt plain and boring, Juho decided to increase its size. 'I did decide to create a world that was gargantuan. If there's a place connecting to it, then it'd have to be a-whole-nother world.' He looked at the globe on his desk and asked, 'What if there's another Earth inside of it? Another planet within Earth, so to speak.'
"Gu" was an entrance, the only entrance to another "Gu."
'It's a different world, so everything's going to be different. Time, history, language, creatures, everything.'
Immersed in the endless train of thought, Juho opened the refrigerator door. A refreshing breeze rushed past his face, blowing across the kitchen. As he put out his hand in front of it, the coldness traveled up to his arms. The longer he left the door open, the more anxious he grew. He felt like he would get yelled at by his mother any minute. He had been told in multiple occasions to not leave the refrigerator open. 'The "Gu" is open now. Maybe I need something else to close it with. No, that won't be necessary.' It was already closed, hidden deep within the stories in mythology. Nobody knew where to find the "Gu." The mythology had served as a door. Only those who discovered its handle were able to open it, and the protagonist had finally discovered it. God, mythology, and the shape of the protagonist grew clearer.
"But I'm hungry..." Juho murmured as he closed the refrigerator door.
Having returned to his room, he reached for his pen.
Chapter 100 – Face It (1)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
"What should I eat?" Juho contemplated, clasping his rumbling stomach.
Cars passed by in front of his eyes. He was on his way back from a walk. As he exited the park, the noise in the environment flooded his ears. Everyone had to be out for the weekend. The streets were booming with people.
Though it was too late for breakfast and too early for lunch, Juho was still hungry. 'Maybe some bread?'
Without hesitation, he made his way to the bakery across the street. With his eyes fixed on the traffic light, Juho waited desperately for it to change. People were standing on the sidewalk while the cars zoomed past them on the road.
Frankly, Juho had wanted to stay home all day writing, wrestling with his pen. Eating had become a hassle, and he didn't want to spend any more time on it than it was necessary. However, he was not in the state to be able to handle writing such a book. In order to create a world that was elaborately detailed, he couldn't afford to keep his stomach empty.
Juho stared at the road where the cars were rushing past the white lines on the ground. Those lines had been drawn for the people. It told them 'Walk here. Cars, wait until everyone has crossed safely to the other side.' It was a promise of safety. Unfortunately, people simply had too many reasons to break that promise. When one broke the promise of safety, it often resulted in death. 'Is that how it works in war?' Juho thought, fiddling with a USB-drive in his pocket.
His stomach rumbled. Juho regretted leaving home without having eaten. As he stared intently at the bakery, the light finally turned green. While everyone crossed the street at the same time, Juho stepped on the road without delay. It wasn't long until he reached the other side of the street and the green light began to flicker.
By the time Juho had nearly crossed the road, people who had arrived late began to rush across. The cars were inching past the white line, announcing their intention of taking off as soon as the light turned.
Everything seemed perilous. A middle-aged woman running from afar, an elderly pushing a stroller, a curious dog with its young owner. They were all still walking on the white line. Juho watched anxiously until the light turned red. Thankfully, nothing happened. The light turned red after everyone had safely crossed onto the other side.
Juho made his way toward the bakery. Although he was yet to arrive, the scrumptious fragrance of freshly baked bread tickled his nose. Then, he remembered how hungry was. He felt like he would end up buying a lot more bread than necessary. 'It's not everyday I'm at a bakery,' Juho justified himself as he opened the door confidently and stepped into the bakery. As he contemplated on which one to choose, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. A call from Yun Seo, and Juho answered it quickly.
"Yes, Mrs. Baek."
"Yes, hello, Juho. Are you busy?"
"No, I was on my way back home from a walk," Juho answered honestly.
"Is that so? Does that mean you're available today?"
"Yes, I'm flexible."
"Great! Come eat."
Juho was more than happy that Yun Seo had asked him over. He much rather her warm bowl of rice over a generic sandwich sold at a bakery. Because he was already hungry, he answered without hesitation, "I'll be there."
"Be safe, and watch out for cars."
After the call, Juho decided to take some bread with him, becoming more intentional about his choices. Remembering what she had always said habitually about not having enough food, he made sure to buy a generous amount.
"I'm here!"
"What's up!"
'Bark! Bark!' with the sound of the dog barking in the distance, Geun Woo came out to greet Juho.
"Are you opening up a bakery?" he asked, looking at the bags full of bread.
"Nothing's sadder than not having enough to eat,"
"Hm... I could've sworn I heard that somewhere."
As he walked in with Geun Woo, they ran into Yun Seo coming out of the kitchen.
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"You're here! What's all that?"
"I brought some bread."
"Oh, you didn't have to. There's plenty of food."
"More the merrier."
"Of course. Go hang out with Geun Woo for a little while. Lunch is almost ready."
"Yes, ma'am."
Putting on her apron, Yun Seo went back to the kitchen, smiling cheerfully. As she had told him to, Juho sat down with Geun Woo.
"Where's Joon Soo?"
"He had a lecture."
When he thought back on it, their first encounter had been at a university, and Juho had left without listening to his lecture. In the middle of catching up with Geun Woo, Juho asked, "Have you been working on anything lately?"
"Yeah. I got a request for a short story for a magazine, so I've been working on that."
"I see, the splendor of a celebrity author."
"You brat!"
Suddenly, Geun Woo asked a question while mimicking Juho, "Don't you get requests like that too? You're the one and only Yun Woo after all."
"I've been turning down every single one of them," answered Juho, smiling.
"Aha!"
"I'm anonymous, and I don't like the idea of writing on a deadline. I want to be able to write when I want in peace."
"I get what you're saying. Trying to meet a deadline can be a living hell." Then, Geun Woo asked, rustling the bag of bread Juho had brought, "You're not going to end up like San Jung, are you? Living like a hermit in the mountains?"
"Are you talking about San Jung Youn?"
"Duh! Who else writes living in the mountains?"
San Jung Youn had been famous for many areas. A skilled writer, one of the things she was known for was having built a house in the mountains. She stuck strictly to novels. In order to realize that conviction, she moved to the mountains voluntarily. She was quite eccentric. However, Juho had had no clue that she and Geun Woo knew each other.
"How do you guys know each other?"
"She was also one of Mrs. Baek's pupils," Geun Woo said light-heartedly, taking a bag of bread from the sack.
"I had no idea."
"Most people don't. She wasn't here for that long. By the time she came here, she was already an author, so she wasn't exactly a student either. She refused to do interviews too."
"How did you guys get close?"
"She likes to drink. I'm about the only person here who drinks regularly. We drank together, and we got closer in no time. Speaking of which, I haven't really seen her since she moved to the mountains. Wonder how she's doing," Geun Woo said, tearing the wrapping around the bread. It was almost time for lunch, but he was rather impatient.
"Don't blame me if you can't finish your food."
"Don't worry. I'll eat every bit of it," Geun Woo said confidently, taking a big bite out of the bread. At that moment, Yun Seo saw him as she came out of the kitchen, and he got an earful.
Lunch was delicious. Her cooking was warm and welcoming. After the meal, Juho went outside to walk around a little bit while looking at Yun Seo's garden. There were all sorts of different vegetables. Squatting in front of it, he watched an ant as it crawled by.
He took a small pebble and placed it before the ant. As if flustered, it moved about side to side, but soon found a way around it. Even when he placed bigger rocks before it, the ant somehow went around it, as if it knew that something bigger existed. Juho was proud of that spirit. As a gesture of apology, he decided to give it a small piece of bread. When the piece of bread landed on the ground, the ant moved about nimbly. As he watched the ant carrying its food back to its nest, Yun Seo called for him from behind him.
"Come have some fruit!"
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"Yes, ma'am."
Seeing the piles of fruit she had brought out, Juho sat next to Yun Seo.
"So, what have you been working on lately?" Yun Seo asked. Though he had never brought it up with her, she somehow knew that he had been writing.
"I've been working on a short story and novel."
"Two?"
"The two ideas hit me at the same time. I couldn't help it."
Juho talked about the day when he made the spontaneous trip to the beach. Yun Seo listened cheerfully.
"You really have a lot in common with Wol. That must have been a lot of fun."
"Yes, it was! Sometimes, going on a spontaneous trip isn't half bad."
"Isn't it tiring?"
It depended on the author, but writing two separate books at the same time hadn't been such a bad experience for Juho. Of course, it had been much more demanding in every aspect than working on a single book, but it had been twice as rewarding.
"I'm glad to hear. Sounds like you're really meant to be a writer."
"I've already finished the first draft of the short story. I think writing in different locations has really helped."
School and home. By writing in two different environments, Juho was able to keep his thoughts and ideas organized, and the two books seemed to have a positive influence on one another.
"Although I still got a ways to go with the novel."
"There's no rush."
"Yes, I agree. I've been taking my time with it. I've learned the benefits of keeping my shoulders relaxed when I write."
"Hyun Do?" Yun Seo asked, smiling.
"Yes, ma'am."
"How was he?" she asked, curious about their encounter.
After a brief time thinking, Juho answered, "It was an honor. There is so much I can learn from him. I had a great time."
"Hyun Do told me the same. He said he had a great time as well."
Juho felt relieved that his meeting with the literary giant had gone smoothly.
"Hyun Do may be comforting, but he's hardly the one to reach out to people first."
"Really?"
"Of course! He likes to write in the quiet, so he becomes a hermit when he's writing. It makes people around him anxious, but I keep telling them that there's nothing to worry about."
"Why is that?"
"Hyun Do is the master when it comes to eating alone," Yun Seo said, laughing cheerfully. Juho looked at her intently. Though she had used the word 'alone,' that was hardly the truth. With a friend like her who trusted and supported him, Hyun Do was never alone.
"He was moved by your writing," Yun Seo said.
"Are you sure...?"
"That's right. You got his heavy ass to finally come outside. You can be proud of yourself. I think you can afford to be a little arrogant," she added, calmly looking at Juho.
She knew about Juho's bondage to past failures keeping him from celebrating the present successes. Celebration was but a moment. Afterward, everything went back to the way it had been. An author tended to be more focused on the harsh criticisms than on the praises. When Juho published his new book, he had been happier about the fact that he wasn't reliving the past failure than about his book being published. He had always worked hard to keep himself under control.
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"I've watched over countless authors over the years."
"Yes, ma'am."
"You stood out among the other authors I've met. You don't show it. You're almost too good at keeping your emotional boundaries."
She had known his struggle all along and was reaching out to help. Juho answered playfully, "What if I actually become really arrogant?"
"Then, I'd have to put you in your place."
"That sounds scary."
"It's not good to be scared from the start. Don't be preemptively afraid of success or of failure. "
"Are you saying that I should set them aside?"
"I'm simply telling you to face them."
Face it. Juho thought of the crow.
"And then?"
"You accept it."
"And then what happens next?"
"I believe it's up to you. At the end of the day, this is your life," Yun Seo said while looking up at the sky. She seemed to be reminiscing about someone. Seeing the longing in her eyes, Juho guessed that she was thinking of her husband.
"There's this favorite author of mine. He's an amazing writer, and I really respect him."
"Uh, huh."
"One day, that author told me that he saw a bird."
A bird. Juho was surprised by the familiar sounding word.
"Apparently, it was injured, so it couldn't fly. He wanted to look after that bird. I couldn't understand him, but I let him anyway. He always sees things that I can't see."
Juho imagined an injured bird that couldn't fly.
"Now that I'm older, I think I'm starting to get it. After writing twice the amount he wrote throughout his life, I barely came to understand it. He wanted to fly. Freely," she said, smiling.
"That's why he wanted that bird to be able to fly. In the end, that bird was a representation of himself. It's the same reason he had to start writing."
Juho felt like he had discovered a light in the dark. He felt like he had finally grasped the stream of light that he couldn't before. The crow never flew, and it only stood on its fragile legs. The reason why he hadn't named the crow was because Juho wanted it to fly away.
"You've seen it too, haven't you?"
"Yes, I have."
"Lucky you. I don't have that kind of imagination."
After a moment, Juho asked, "Do you think the bird flew away?"
Did Wol Kang get his hands on freedom after all?
"Yep," she answered confidently. "I'm sure it flew away, as good as new."
"How do you know?"
"I've read what he wrote. I got to read his last novel. It's still unfinished."
Yun Seo rested her hand on Juho's shoulder. It was as light as a feather.
"If you want to fly, don't you think your shoulders need to be lighter? So, be more confident kiddo.
"You've written amazing books. People are praising you. Your writing has moved the hearts of many, so it's OK to be excited. Celebrate it. Don't be held back by the jealousy of others. I really wish for you to learn to do these things."
An overwhelming compliment. Juho laughed, feeling like he hadn't done so for a long time.
"Yes, ma'am."
He decided to take her advice. Anybody could change. On the other hand, anybody could stay the same.