Chapter 95 – The Sky is the Sky and the Beach is the Beach (1)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
As a gift, Juho chose a pair of jeans that was as blue as the sea. Wearing those jeans, the woman decided to make a trip to the beach. They were comfortable, so she wouldn't have trouble sitting down or getting sand on them. With some money and a blanket, she headed for the beach.
She walked the same, familiar streets as the day before. Nothing had changed. The convenience store, the grocery store next door, the high school she had graduated from, and the stationery store in front of it. All the stores opened and closed at the exact same time they always had. A student walked out of the school. At a certain time of the day, students in uniform walked past the front gate and ate lunch. Their class started once the bell rang, and it ended once the bell rang again.
They left for school before sunrise and didn't go home until sunset. It was almost like being in a cave. If the school was a cave, where was she now? She had left for the beach. First, there was light, and the light was better than the dark. It was warm and beautiful. Yet, she had never learned to enjoy the light. It had to be because she was either too cold of a person, or because the light was simply too hot.
"I'm thirsty."
Juho looked around his desk littered with paper and writing. The cup was completely dry. After pondering about it, Juho stood up from the chair and made his way to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of cold water. Then, he drank it. The water left a trail of cold sensation in its path. Considering the environment's temperature, it made sense that it felt that cold. When it touched his teeth, the cup made a clicking sound. The water passed through his mouth and into the throat. There was no need to chew. He only needed to let it flow down his esophagus.
The woman was growing thirsty as well. She went into the convenience store to buy herself a bottle of water. There was no verbal interaction in the process. The only person talking was the cashier. The woman never answered. That was what she wanted from Juho, and he was intentional about keeping his word. No one was able to hear her voice. She never spoke, but she wasn't lethargic.
She headed for the beach, and Juho returned to his room.
A character's speech served multiple purposes. On top of being their voice, it was also the voice of the novel. It created ripples like a pebble that was thrown into placid waters. In this short story, however, the protagonist had no voice. As a result, the sounds around her were amplified. In the end, Juho wanted to increase the sound the novel made even more. Her voice would be included then, and she wouldn't have to worry about being separated or left alone. He fully intended to make her feel heard, enabling readers to be able to imagine her voice just through her monologues.
Juho pictured the woman in jeans. The character was alive, and obviously, she wore clothes and shoes. Then, she received a gift. Naturally, the gift was given by someone else, which meant that she wasn't alone.
Perhaps that was the reason why she didn't want things to change, believing that they would last forever. Perhaps she believed that there were things that didn't change in that world. At least, that's how Juho saw it.
'In that case, will her desires come true? After years had gone by, would she have the same thoughts, still? Wouldn't she still be alone then? What would I need to ask her that question?' Juho thought, closing his eyes.
He felt cold water on his feet. The waves were breaking, retreating with white seafoam. Though they rushed toward him with excitement, they were short-lived and retreated timidly, taking some of the sand along. Juho looked down at his feet. There was a pair of footprints on the wet, soft sand. He was at the beach himself – the place that required a two-hour train ride to get to. He was back. Just as before, the place was filled with water and sand. Suddenly, he heard something shattering behind him. Looking back, Juho saw debris that was whiter than the sand on the beach. He was well-acquainted with the sight. After all, he had been the one who had made that mess.
"Mr. Agrippa," Juho called to him. However, Mr. Agrippa lacked a mouth, so he couldn't answer. The pieces were buried in the sand about halfway, but Juho picked up what looked like a mouth.
'Click.'
"Ptooey!"
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The mouth spat out sand, coughing and projecting what looked like saliva or sea water. Juho pulled away from the mouth as it coughed violently.
As it grew calmer, Juho asked, "Why are you here?"
Agrippa's mouth opened, revealing his clean, neat set of teeth. In a deep, resounding voice, he said, "She didn't want to talk, so I volunteered to come instead. Besides, I had something to tell you."
"What is it?"
"You broke me. So, fix me."
"That'd be impossible, unfortunately."
There was no way to restore a shattered plaster figure. That was the hard, cold truth. What had already passed couldn't be restored. At Juho's answer, a corner of Agrippa's mouth turned up. Although it had been just his mouth, it was apparent that he was sneering at him.
"What are you talking about? Nothing's impossible in writing."
"Ah, that's what you meant. I get it now."
Like he had said, it would be possible in writing. It would be possible to restore him to his original shape, regardless of the laws of physics and nature. All it would take would be: 'He returned to his original shape.'
"There ya go."
Agrippa's entire face became visible. Although he was a small bust sculpture, he returned to the shape he was in when Mr. Moon first brought him to the science room.
"Satisfied?"
"Very well, much better! Now, I can use my entire face to communicate!"
"Was it uncomfortable?"
"You'll understand once you're in pieces."
Though Juho was about to answer "I think I can live without that experience," he stopped himself, remembering that he was the culprit behind shattering Agrippa to pieces. Above, A seagull flew past them. Juho looked up and watched it fly away. It seemed hungry.
"It won't come for you, will it?"
"I'm harder than I look. That bird would have to worry about breaking its beak."
Considering how he had been in pieces even a moment prior, his answer didn't sound very convincing. 'He's much weaker than he thinks,' Juho thought.
Then, Agrippa asked, "Put me in the water, will you?"
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"Why?"
"What do you mean why? Because I want to be in the water."
"Can you feel with that thick, hard skin of yours?"
"It may be hard, but it's still skin. I can feel everything."
With those words, Juho walked into the water until it reached his ankles. Setting Agrippa down on the sand, Juho plopped down beside him. Clear sea water soaked into his clothes.
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Yep," answered Agrippa. The deep wrinkles around his eyes showed that he was genuinely happy. He was a man of many expressions. His thick, hard skin moved about freely, shining brightly in the sun. Seeing Agrippa enjoying himself in the water, Juho felt sorry for shattering him. If Agrippa was able to feel everything, he must have been in incredible pain when he was in pieces.
"That's not true," said Agrippa.
"But..."
He interjected, saying, "I couldn't see, hear or talk then, so I didn't feel anything either."
Juho knew he wasn't telling the truth. Just because he couldn't see, hear or talk, it didn't necessarily meant that he couldn't feel anything. The one who hadn't felt anything then had been Juho himself. He had been the insensitive one.
Letting out a sigh, Juho asked, "What am I supposed to do when I'm forgiven before I even got to apologize?"
"It's really fine. You restored me. I'm sure I'm the only Agrippa in this world who got to be in the water at the beach."
Suddenly, the wave broke, splashing onto his cheek,
"Is there something you want?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Just curious."
For a brief moment, Juho looked at the horizon stretching endlessly. It was the border between the sky and sea. Without it, fish could have been swimming in the sky, and Juho would've been able to grant Agrippa the title of the first Agrippa ever to be dipped in the sky. However, Juho didn't want it to vanish. It had always been the line that had kept the sea as the sea, while keeping the sky as the sky.
Juho's lips parted, and he said, "This is our last time together. If I leave, you'll be in pieces again, so I'd like to know."
"Yeah, I've been wanting to say it too. Last time we met, we didn't even have a chance to talk," said Agrippa. The reflection moved whenever he moved his face. "I was sold along with other art supplies."
Brush, palette, paint, pencil, sculpting knife, and molding clay. He described the view of the store he had been in.
"Not including myself, there were four Agrippas beside me."
"Were you close to any of them?"
He hesitated and asked, "What does it mean to be close?"
"That's a hard question you're asking."
Agrippa smiled bitterly. He was a man of many expressions.
"We couldn't distinguish ourselves."
"Was it because you all looked the same?"
"Not exactly. I couldn't retain my identity," said Agrippa, wearing a sad expression. "Maybe I was asleep. When I opened my eyes after being sold over and over, I had a dream."
'Is he talking about dreaming in his sleep or daydreaming?'
"What kind of dream?" Juho asked.
"I had become human. My heart had started beating, blood circulated throughout my body. My hands felt warmth," answered Agrippa. "I think that's when I first realized my own identity."
The imagination Juho had applied to it had brought Agrippa a dream.
"Then, when I was broken into pieces, I felt jealous for the first time."
The wave retreated, foaming. It splashed on his shoulders.
"What were you jealous about?"
"You guys don't change."
The wave broke again, but this time, gently.
"We do change."
The body and the mind tended to change based on time and circumstances, getting involved in incidents both small and big. People moved restlessly through life.
"No," Agrippa disagreed for some reason.
"Why did you think that?"
"The moment I was shattered, I felt my identity vanishing into thin air. It's different from death. I'm not dead. I was just back to not being able to distinguish who I was anymore. I couldn't tell who was who. Now, I can't tell myself apart from the other Agrippas."
'Distinguish,' Juho thought. Just as the word "I" meant the person himself, Agrippa was no other than Agrippa himself. "I" would not bother to spend time thinking about his identity when looking at Agrippa because he would be capable of distinguishing himself.
"I was sold over and over. Art institutes, homes, schools, parks. I was everywhere, and I am every Agrippa there is in this world, but you're different. You are you, strictly. That never changes, and it can never be taken away. You don't break into pieces like I do. You're durable. I was jealous."
Won't, can't and shouldn't be taken away. Agrippa had been jealous of the people who had that. He had wanted to be a person who possessed something that should never be hand out to others under any circumstances. The wave broke again. Though it had been timid at one point, it broke all the more desperately. Water splashed onto Agrippa's eyes. He was crying.
Chapter 96 – The Sky is the Sky and the Beach is the Beach (2)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
"You can stay as yourself too," Juho said to Agrippa. "You're the only Agrippa in this world who got to be in the water at the beach."
Although Agrippa gave no answer, Juho felt that he was looking for evidence. He had been longing for some evidence that showed that he, too, possessed something unchanging. With that, Juho looked around. Sea, sand, sky, seagull, endless horizon. They were all things that he could easily make.
"Call your friends."
Agrippa didn't understand him, so Juho added in the friendly manner, "The Agrippas you were confusing yourself with."
"... What for? My identity will get lost the very moment they get here."
"Don't you worry," said Juho, smiling. "I'll find you."
"Find me?"
"I can do it."
"We all look exactly alike. I'm serious. There's not one distinguishing characteristic between us."
Juho shrugged confidently.
"Nothing's impossible here."
A large wave swooped over Agrippa and rushed back to where it came from. However, it drenched neither Juho nor Agrippa. No, the Agrippas, countless Agrippas, filled the beach, fixating their ivory eyes on Juho. None of them spoke. Instead of seeing, they listened with their gazes straight ahead.
Juho walked through the statutes carefully and tried to strike up a conversation, "'Scuse me."
No answer.
"Hello?" he tried again, but there was no answer. With his eyes on the traces left by the wave in the distance, he walked past the Agrippas. Sand was taking up the space once filled with water. Similarly, the Agrippas were occupying the place where the sand should've been. Following the wave, Juho walked toward it.
It was neither this nor that, neither the statue next to him nor behind him.
He went further, passing a large number of statues. They all looked exactly alike, even their flaws. He tried lifting them, one on each hand. Their cold ivory skin felt smooth to the touch. They even weighed the same. It made sense that Agrippa had been so confused. 'I wonder if animals look at us the same way I look at these statues? Do they think that it's impossible to distinguish us, like the grains in the sand? No, that's not true. A puppy knows its owner. Not one pebble in a valley is the same. Though they might all look the same to some people, the pebbles each have their own unique shape. Once there's a memory attached to it, its shape evolves into something even more unique. For that reason, I know I can find Agrippa here.'
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"Found you," declared Juho, standing in front of the wave.
There was one last Agrippa in front of him. Having walked past a slew of Agrippas, it was the one Agrippa unique to Juho. He gave no answer still. Only, his forehead twitched ever so slightly, and the wave broke stubbornly.
"How did you find me?" asked Agrippa.
"Your moustache," Juho answered.
There were hairs placed vividly under Agrippa's nose. Juho had drawn them in in the science room. Thankfully, they had remained intact despite the water.
While in a daze, the Agrippa started laughing suddenly, "Hahaha!"
He laughed heartily, resounding throughout the entire beach. The moustache vibrated as he laughed. At that moment, a powder-like substance fell on the ground. It was time to part ways.
"It seems like it's time."
"It appears so."
Agrippa's face crumbled away, turning into sand. It was becoming one with the sand at the beach.
"I'm sure you have what it takes to find me."
"Yep," answered Juho, confidently.
Even if he became one with the sand, Juho would still be able to find him.
"That's all that matters. Even though I'm about to be reduced to a handful of sand, I'm at peace."
Just as his chin and forehead, his once clear eyes began to trickle down. Juho reached for him, feeling the smooth texture of the sand as it brushed past his hand. Agrippa seemed somewhat older. Maybe it was the sand, or the scorching sun that was beating down on him. His mouth spread open, but it too crumbled away before he had a chance to speak.
"I know," said juho.
"She won't change."
Agrippa slowly faded away, his neck and shoulders gone.
"It's been a pleasure."
With one last smile, Agrippa vanished. The water washed away what little sand was left in Juho's hand. Before he knew it, the water had come up to his neck. 'When did you get here?' Water had a tendency to be fickle.
From the water, Juho looked in the direction of the beach. A woman was walking on the sand, leaving footprints. By the look of the silhouette, she seemed to be wearing a hat, slouching slightly. Though Juho wanted to get a better look, he was moving farther away from the shore. 'Who could that be?' The woman seemed to be wearing pants. Her silver hair became visible under the visor. Stopping in her tracks, she bent down to pick something up from the sand. Maybe she was patting something. She appeared to be well-advanced in age. 'Did she really remain unchanged or did she give into change?' Juho wondered. Straightening her back, the woman went on her way leisurely. In order to stop her, Juho tried to shout, but no sound came out as water began to rush into his mouth. Agrippa. Juho had become Agrippa himself. Regardless of who it was, one had to become the sand in order to leave that beach. Juho felt his body crumbling away under the water. Whenever the wave broke, he got pulled under, sinking and becoming one with the sand. His eyes met with the blue, serene sky. It was the sky that he had always seen, and he felt relieved. A simple fact remained: He was still himself.
At the sight of a seagull flying about in the sky as it searched for something, Juho closed his eyes.
"Sigh."
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Opening his eyes, Juho let out a sigh. To wake himself up, he reached for the cup that came into view. It was cold.
"Hello," greeted Juho.
At the sound of Juho's voice, the Chinese teacher looked up from his book. He was also the Book Club's homeroom teacher. Despite being separated by a mere door, the school library smelled entirely different from the rest of the school. Juho was impressed by its subtle scent of dust and books. Once he identified Juho's face, the greeted him back with a slight nod.
The shelves were filled with books organized into categories. Between the shelves was a small box designed for requesting new books for the library. The translucent box seemed rather empty.
After thinking for a bit, Juho picked up the pen and paper next to the box and wrote down the name of the book he wanted to see in the school library. It was a book written by Joon Soo. Although there was a wide array of books in the library, his books simply weren't popular enough. His fans tended to be quite avid, but they were few in number. Folding the paper in half and pushing it into the box, Juho remembered why he had come to the library – to pick a book. Juho wanted to know more about sand. Just like how Juho hadn't always been Yun Woo, sand hadn't always been sand. It had been granite in a high mountain at one point. Either from external erosion or internal disintegration, the rock broke into enormous pieces. As large as it was, it took a long time for it to travel down the mountain. Eventually, it shrunk gradually in size, naturally and/or by washing down the river. The rocks kept shrinking as they crashed into each other, bruising and wearing each other down. There was no way to make them bigger. The whole process repeated itself until the rock was reduced to the size of a grain of sand. Juho wanted to know where the countless grains of sand had come from.
He looked in the shelf with books on geographical science. It didn't take long before he found what he had been looking for.
'What is Science?'
'Easy-to-Understand Science'
'A Quick Look at the History of Science'
'How Did Ancient Civilizations Know the Earth was Round?"
'The Fundamentals of a Triangle.'
'Mathematics That Fits in Your Palms.'
'Physics: the Fascinating Science.'
'The reason Why the Sea is Salty.'
'Nothing Can't Be Explained with Science.'
'How to Make a Mummy.'
'Mushrooms'
'The Extinction of Dinosaurs'
'Earth'
'Climate in the North Pole.'
Standing in front of a wall of books, Juho started searching from the top. 'Sand, sand. It has to be here around somewhere.' The book didn't come into view until he started looking down. Eventually, he squatted, going after the books at the bottom shelves.
"Here it is!"
'Formation of Sand.' Seeing how it was covered in dust, nobody seemed to have bothered looking at it. It looked rather technical 'This will do. Otherwise, I can just get one from the bookstore,' he thought, picking up the book. When he walked out, there was a student sitting where the Chinese teacher had been sitting, reading. She was reading with the same posture as the teacher.
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"I'd like to check this out," Juho said.
Just like the Chinese teacher, she looked up quietly and asked, "Your student ID?"
"Here," said Juho, handing her his ID. Taking the ID from his hand, she scanned the book's barcode and typed the book's information on the computer, seemingly familiar with the library's system. Meanwhile, Juho glanced over at the book she had been reading. The book came into view while resting on her skirt that fell just below her knees. A lone bird in a gray background.
"Here you go."
"Thanks," he said. She gave him a light nod in response. With just them there alone, the library was quiet, and as soon as he stepped out through the door, the sound of clamoring would come flooding into his ears.
Before he went on his way, Juho stopped to ask the girl a question, "Is that any good?"
She looked up as she was about to pick up her book, understanding him immediately.
"Yes."
"How good?"
"Quite good."
A woman of few words. Seeing as how she didn't seemed to welcome the conversation, Juho went on his way without asking anything further.
"If you haven't read it, you should," said the girl, her eyes fixated on the book.
"Why?"
"It's worth it."
Juho didn't say anything.
"Yun Woo's story is kind of like sand in some ways," she added.
"Sand, huh." Juho had never heard his writing compared to sand. Looking at the dusty book in his hand, he asked, "What made you think that?"
"It rushes into the reader's mouth without permission."
"Is that what Yun Woo's book does? It goes into your mouth without permission?"
"So to speak," she said, patting the book. "With wind, fine sand can go anywhere. You couldn't grab it even if you wanted to. The moment you think you've caught it, it's already escaping through your fingers. It's kind of annoying, but on the other hand, I feel grateful."
"But you like the book though?"
"Yes. I wouldn't read it otherwise. I wouldn't recommend it to a person that I'm not even close to either."
'I should be thankful,' thought Juho. Thinking back on it, they had met before, when the entire Literature Club had come to the library.
"You're part of the Book Club, right? We've met before?"
"Yes, and you're part of the Literature Club."
She remembered him. Just like now, she had been reading then. While Juho reminisced about that day, she went back to reading. Without disrupting her further, Juho quietly stepped out of the library.
"Sand that rushes in without permission."
Her expression lingered in his ears. The lone woman who had left for the beach had to have been carrying that same sand. Afterall, sand didn't discriminate.