Morning came, but I didn't feel like the sun shone today.
The fire had burned low, just embers now, casting a soft orange glow against the cave walls. Yahiko and Konan were still asleep, curled near the warmth, their breathing slow and steady. They looked peaceful, like the war outside this cave didn't exist, like they hadn't spent their lives running, fighting, surviving. In a way, we were similar like that. But in this moment, I envied them. At least they could still sleep in peace in this moment. I only wish I could close my eyes and let exhaustion take me away, even for a moment.
But I couldn't.
I had spent the entire night awake, my mind refusing to quiet. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. Shinichi. The look on his face in those last moments. The way Hanzo tore through him. The way his body crumpled, lifeless, before being tossed into that ravine like trash.
I gritted my teeth, rubbing my eyes as if I could erase the images. It didn't help. They were burned into my skull, a film that replayed over and over. I had seen people die before, comrades lost to the war, but this was different. Shinichi had died for me and Yukino.
And I just let it happen.
I let out a slow breath, trying to keep my chest from tightening too much. I needed to focus, to keep pushing forward. Dwelling on what ifs wouldn't change anything.
The rain had finally stopped. The steady drumming outside had been my only company through the night, and now, without it, the silence felt almost suffocating.
Then—
A sound.
A soft, pained murmur.
I stiffened, my head snapping toward the source.
Yukino.
Her eyelids fluttered, and then, slowly, those familiar white eyes of hers opened. She blinked blearily, dazed, confused. Her breathing hitched as she tried to focus on her surroundings.
I was at her side in an instant. "Yukino-chan!"
She turned her head toward me, her brows furrowing. "Shiro…kumo…?" Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper, but it was there.
Relief hit me so hard that I almost forgot how to breathe. My shoulders sagged, the tension of the past day threatening to break me entirely.
"You're awake," I said and let out a small, shaky laugh. "You're actually awake."
She tried to push herself up, but the moment she moved, pain flared across her face. She gritted her teeth, her arms trembling as she struggled to sit up.
"Hey, easy," I said quickly, my hands moving to support her before she could hurt herself. "You've been out for a while. You need to rest."
She didn't listen. Stubborn as always, she forced herself into a sitting position, though I could see how much it cost her. She was still weak, still drained from the poison.
Her eyes flickered around the cave, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings before settling back on me. "Where… are we?"
"Somewhere safe," I reassured her, though the word felt hollow. "At least for now."
She swallowed, then hesitated before speaking again. "What about the others?"
"I don't know."
I didn't want to lie to her. I didn't know if the others made it out. We had barely escaped with our lives, and Shinichi…
I swallowed hard, pushing the thought away before it could drag me down again.
Yukino's gaze bore into me, searching for something—maybe reassurance, maybe the truth. But what could I give her? I couldn't tell her everything would be fine, because it wouldn't. I couldn't promise we'd see our comrades again, because we might not.
So I just shook my head. "We got separated. I hope… I think they should be okay. Minato was with them, after all."
Her fingers curled into the fabric of her blanket, her knuckles turning white. I could see the thoughts racing through her mind. Lying here, helpless, not knowing—that was the worst thing for her.
Yukino's brows furrowed. "We got separated?" she repeated, her voice still hoarse, but gaining strength. "The others... What about Shinichi? He was with us before… I think when we fell in the river he... I remember he yelled my name… Did he jump after us?"
Yukino winced as she tried to recall more details, her hand weakly clutching the blanket wrapped around her. I reached for the small pouch at my side, fingers brushing against the mixture I had made for her.
"Be careful, Yuki. You were poisoned," I said quietly. "The weapon that cut you—it was laced with something nasty. By the time we pulled you out, you were burning up."
She blinked slowly, absorbing my words. Then, her eyes widened slightly. "Shinichi and you—"
"Yeah," I cut in before she could finish. "We did everything we could to stabilize you. We made camp near the river at first, tried every remedy we could think of. Shinichi… he helped keep the fire going, got the necessary herbs so I could prepare an antidote for the poison and also brought us food."
I pulled out the small bundle of herbs I had ground down earlier into paste and unwrapped a portion of the medicine. "It's not great, but you need to take more of this," I said, holding it out to her.
She eyed the concoction warily, then shot me a tired glare. "Is it as bad as it looks?"
"Worse." I smirked a little, trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't quite reach my eyes.
Yukino sighed and took the medicine from my hand, swallowing it down without complaint. Her face twisted in disgust, but she forced it down. "Bitter as hell," she muttered.
"I did warn you." I gave her a small smile, but it faded quickly when she looked back at me with sharp eyes.
"Where's Shinichi?"
I froze. My fingers clenched slightly against my knee. I should have known this question was coming, but I still wasn't ready to answer it. Not yet.
Instead, I exhaled slowly and glanced toward the sleeping figures near the fire. "Those two," I started, dodging her question, "are Yahiko and Konan. Orphans from the Land of Rain. We stumbled upon them last night when we were looking for shelter."
Yukino followed my gaze, her expression softening. She looked at the two kids curled up against the cave wall, their small frames barely rising and falling with each breath. A deep sadness passed over her face.
"They live here?" she murmured.
I nodded. "Yeah. This cave is all they have."
For a moment, neither of us spoke. The fire crackled softly, casting flickering shadows on the damp cave walls. Then, Yukino turned to me, determination flickering in her still-weary eyes. "We can't just leave them here, Shirokumo. We have to do something for them."
I nodded again, this time more firmly. "I know. I was already thinking about bringing them back to the Leaf. It's dangerous, and I have no idea what kind of effect it might have on… everything. But I can't just leave them. We ought to at least try."
She held my gaze for a moment longer, she definitely didn't know what I meant by that, but she gave a small nod of approval all the same. "Good."
Silence settled again, heavier this time. Yukino studied me, her exhaustion evident, but not enough to miss what I was doing. I could tell she had noticed my deliberate avoidance of her earlier question. She narrowed her eyes. "And Shinichi?"
I tensed.
"Shirokumo." Her voice was firmer now. "Where is he?"
I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I just looked at her, my throat tightening, my chest feeling too heavy. The weight of the truth pressed against me, threatening to crush whatever composure I had left.
I just stared at her eyes, my gaze barely holding firm as I struggled to keep myself steady.
Yukino's face slowly fell as realization crept in. Her breath hitched. "No… No, that can't be…"
I finally lowered my gaze, my hands curling into fists.
"He…" My voice wavered. "He saved you, Yukino. He made sure we got away."
The silence that followed was unbearable.
Her voice shook. "What—What happened, Shiro?"
I swallowed hard and forced myself to continue. "Hanzo the Salamander and his men cornered us."
"What?!" She nearly jumped out of her blanket. "That notorious shinobi...!"
"Yeah. The rumors didn't do him justice. We were outnumbered, and I tried—I tried to fight them off. I was willing to put everything on the line to win, but Hanzo… he was just too strong. Too fast. No matter what I did, he was ten steps ahead of me. In the end, he strung up both you and Shinichi over a cliff and… he made me choose. It was a joke to him, some twisted game."
I could see the horror in Yukino's eyes, but I pressed on. She needed to know.
"I wanted to save you both. I swear I did. But… there wasn't anything I could do..."
"Shiro... What happened to Shin...?"
"Shinichi—he just—he just accepted it. He said he would be the one to die."
Yukino's breath came in shallow gasps, her hands trembling against the blanket. "No… Shin..."
"He… he said that the happiest time of his life was when he first met you." My voice cracked. "Even when things turned sour, after I came into the picture, he never stopped caring about you. Not once. Even in the end, he just wanted you to know that—he wanted you to know that he held genuine feelings for you, Yuki. That's the last message Shinichi had for you."
Tears welled in Yukino's eyes, and I watched as she crumpled, covering her face with her hands as quiet sobs wracked her frail body. I had nothing to say to ease the pain. There was no comfort in this. No way to make it better. Regardless of how the relationships between us three evolved, those two were still childhood friends. This situation couldn't be any easier on Yuki either.
A sharp, shuddering breath escaped me before I even realized what was happening. My shoulders trembled as the weight of my own failure crashed down. I had stood there—frozen—while Shinichi was killed. While he spoke his last words. While Hanzo toyed with us like we were nothing.
Tears burned at my eyes, blurring my vision. "I… I just stood there, Yuki… I just… watched. I was too weak. Too afraid. If I had been stronger, if I had fought harder, maybe—"
My voice broke completely, and I felt the hot tears spill down my face. Shame curled in my gut like a festering wound. "He's dead because of me. I couldn't do anything. I let him—"
Before I could finish, Yukino's trembling hand reached out, grasping mine. Her grip was weak, but it was enough to make me look at her. Her face was streaked with tears, her lips parted as if she wanted to speak but couldn't find the words. Then, slowly, she squeezed my hand tighter.
"You… you didn't let anything happen, Shirokumo," she whispered through her sobs. "This isn't your fault."
I shook my head, unable to accept her words. "But I—"
She pulled me closer, resting her forehead against mine. Her warmth soothed me despite her frail state. "We're both alive because of him. He made his choice, Shiro. It wasn't fair, but it wasn't your fault."
I clenched my jaw, shutting my eyes as fresh tears spilled over. "I wish it had been me. It should've been. I just couldn't hold them back… My weakness killed him."
Yukino let out a soft, broken sob and pulled me into her arms. "Don't say that… Please don't say that."
I buried my face against her shoulder, letting myself cry. For the first time since Shinichi died, I let the grief take over. And in that small, fragile moment, we mourned him together.
...