I was heading to Healer Po again. Last time I had waited till I absolutely had to, but that was something I wasn't willing to try again.
…
I knocked on her door and she opened almost immediately. She had a shocked look on her face, like she was surprised to see me.
"Khan! You actually came. I figured you'd be too hard-headed to come again."
"I learned my lesson."
She nodded her head, "At least you can learn from your mistakes. Come in, let me see how your arm and chest are doing."
I sat down on the small mattress on the floor she kept for those who needed her attention. She came over to me shortly and looked me over.
"Hmm, most of your other wounds seem to have healed well." She put her hand on my chest, dragging two fingers down the wound, sighing, "Ahhh, the folly of youth. This one should heal nicely as well, it will take a few days for the elixir to finish its work."
Then she moved over to my right hand, her demeanor changing; she didn't like what she saw.
"Your arm, Khan…"
All the while she spoke, I couldn't help but look at the drawer where she kept the elixir, something in my body—a heat, a mix between some alien form of hunger and want building in my chest and stomach.
My head started to pound. Like some little imp, hounding me—telling me what to do.
I wanted it.
My hand started itching. The right one first, then the wound on my chest, I felt like a slave at the call of his master, being dragged by the chains of my own wounds.
I started to scratch.
'I am still wounded, right? Maybe the elixir would help…just one more…then I can be fully healed. I won't have to deal with this anymore...'
"Healer Po. Why don't we use the elixir? It should be easier than waiting it out, right? What if I have another episode like last time?"
She stopped what she was doing and looked up from my arm. She looked into my slightly bleary eyes, "Khan," her eyes widened, "you were handling it better than them, I didn't think-"
"Think what? The elixir? Hmm? Are you going to give it to me?" I moved towards her without realizing. My voice rose in between questions.
Just then, she stepped back, eyes darting to the drawer behind her, realizing the difference between us. I may have been shorter than most people around here, but compared to her? I might as well have been a giant. Not to mention the difference in muscle mass between us.
She looked scared, like I had transformed into some beast in those minutes that she was talking.
I could see my reflection in her eyes. Shame and horror bit at my throat, I looked away, as if I could hide this moment by pretending it hadn't happened.
I snapped out of it.
I put my hands over my eyes, shaking my head as if it would shake off the heat in my body—the one that was calling me to the elixir.
"I'm sorry…I don't know what happened, I-"
"No, you've already done better than most would have. Especially since you are not even a cultivator."
I cringed. That part always stung.
"I shouldn't have given you as much as I gave you already. You'll have to go without it. She went over to her desk."
I thought she was going to get the elixir. A jolt of happiness burst through me. She came back with some medicines in a jar. Immediately, I felt worse, but I tried not to let it show. It was hard to get a hold of my emotions.
She thrust them in front of me. "Here, these should be taken once a day." She wagged her finger, her forehead wrinkling, as she tried to appear more imposing, "Do Not, come back here till those things have been completely healed. Ok?"
I nodded my head.
"Wonderful, It should take a few more days for the chest to be done healing. You'll just be left with some scabs and a long scar. The arm should take around 2 weeks. Make sure not to come back before then. There are some things, if you touch them, they never let you go, do you understand?"
I took the jar from her and told her I understood. She went into the inner part of the apothecary. I could tell she was done talking to me, so I left. First, I rubbed the medicine on my wounds before closing the door behind me.
I went over to the house. The new one I had bought. Even the thought of it put a smile on my face.
Huo Qianlei and his daughters were there. With Huo Qianlei having nothing to do, he stayed at the back of the house with Old Bai, the cow. While his daughters played wherever they could without bothering their father.
I headed straight for the wash. I had to fetch water to bathe with, but I had left a whole bucket from last night. I didn't like constantly fetching water.
I disrobed and poured the ice-cold water down my face. I barely reacted. I had not yet completely cooled down from earlier, and my head was still pounding from the time at Healer Po's apothecary. I tried to flush the thoughts of the elixir out of my head.
The itch and the heat had gone down considerably, but it was still there. I had never seen this side of myself.
My own body was against me. This was different from fighting a beast that I could hold in my hands. Feel the pulse of the animal as I removed suffering.
I couldn't do that to myself. I had to fight my own mind for control. I didn't want to touch that elixir ever again. But at the same time, I still wanted it.
I would make sure to never touch it again.
After the bath and a few hours of rest, I was up again. I needed money, I was quickly running out.
And now, I had to provide for Huo Qianlei and his daughters as well. There was no way he was finding work with the supervisor using him to target me.
I went to the only place I was sure would be out of the influence of the supervisor.
Big Randy.
I made my way to Big Randy's forge as the sun dipped low behind the hills, bleeding gold through the smoke-streaked sky.
The scent of iron and soot hit me long before I even turned the corner.
Big Randy was exactly where I expected him: bare-chested, hammer in hand. He didn't look up when I entered.
"Ahhh, Khan, is it another business deal you have for me?" His voice rumbled like a landslide over the sounds of the metal he was hitting.
"No," I said, stepping closer. "I need work."
That got him to pause. He set the hammer down and wiped sweat off his brow with the back of his wrist.
"Khan, my boy, I don't have much work, and if I do, it's done by my apprentices. Don't you hunt?" He looked down at my arm and the small part of my chest wound that was peeking out of my slightly opened robe.
"Oh." He put down his hammer and put the sword he was working on in a vat of oil. It steamed up violently, flooding the room with a haze.
He coughed as we walked out of the area, fanning the air in an effort to bat the smoke away.
"I've got something, but it's not much," he said. "Deliveries. Small ones. Blades, horseshoes, and some fittings for a militia post out east. Low pay, but no one will stop you."
"I'll take it."
He raised an eyebrow. "Just like that?"
"I need coin. I need something to do." I hesitated, then added, "I don't like just sitting around…as if I can't do anything"
I was a mortal. Something I was uniquely aware of. In the grand scheme of things, I had no time. If I wanted my plan to work, I had to take every chance I could get.
He reached under one of the tables and pulled out a canvas-wrapped bundle. "I can only give you deliveries out of the city. I am trying to help here, I really am, but most of the work goes to my apprentices. I still have to train them."
"I understand."
"Take this to Far Hollow. It's a day out if you move fast. Two if you don't. They'll give you the pay up front, come back with the letter of reception."
I took the bundle. Heavy, but manageable.
As I turned to leave, he spoke again—quieter this time.
Outside, the wind had picked up. Carried the scent of the forge on it—smoke, iron, fire. It clung to my clothes as I made my way back home. Maybe it would cover up the itch still hiding under my skin.