"Sigh, looks like little Lily has grown up a lot, right Yami?"
"Quite indeed. I take pride in her."
"..."
Inside a high-caliber dressing room, Yami and Serine stand around their subordinate, altering her appearance. Lily remains silent, letting the maids do as they please with her body as if she were a life-sized doll.
"Lily, what do you think? Do you think you have grown since your arrival here?"
Have I grown? I have grown to become numb to being touched.
I have grown to stay silent.
I have grown to say whatever pleases my master, even if it's a lie.
I have grown to resist letting my body defend me.
I have grown to cast away my personal desires and accept someone else's will for my life over my own.
I have grown to forget that my mother exists out there somewhere.
I have grown to forget who "Lily" is.
How could I say no to such a question?
"Any growth that I have displayed is thanks to my master and my superiors. No one should praise me–I should be the one to express my gratitude."
Serine stops applying make-up to Lily's face and empties her hands, setting the kit to the side. She slightly bends her knees and looks Lily directly in her eyes.
"Lily, I asked what you think–not what you think I wanted to hear."
Lily tries to avert her eyes from Serine's piercing stare, but Serine would just follow her line of sight every time, refusing to let up.
"Lily, it's only the three of us here. I assure you that there's nothing to worry about. These questions are only to prepare you for the next phase of your life, which is what Lord Olan instructed us to assist you with. So you can think of this as an order from the master himself."
"..."
Lily remains hesitant to answer, hesitant to unmuzzle the voice of her heart. Caught in a mental stalemate, her face goes blank. Serine exhales deeply, taking a step back.
"Okay then, I will go first. I dislike–no, I hate Olan with every fiber of my being. My hatred of him grows every single day I have to hear his voice. "
Lily's eyes widened, her mouth agape at the presence of Serine's boldness.
"What, does that surprise you so much? Surely even you could read the atmosphere after being here for 5 years."
"Well yes, but…but–"
"You didn't expect us to say our true thoughts out loud, did you? We did train you not to do such a thing after all. I hate the way that bastard treats us as his objects; even his own daughter who is my best friend! I wish I knew that becoming his maid makes you one of his concubines…I never would have joined."
"If that's the case…then why not quit?"
I finally managed to ask the question that has burdened me for the longest time. I am a slave, so I have no other choice but to remain here. If I were hired as a maid, then I would have quit five years ago.
Yami, who remained diligently working on Lily, finally pauses her craft.
"It's because a curse befalls the women who try to "divorce" Olan without his consent. No matter how badly we want to leave, we are essentially trapped. I know this sounds unbelievable, but according to his first wife, Lord Olan was not always this way. Apparently, he changed after his ordination at the temple–he was always a flawed man, but still respectable as a person. She couldn't believe the monster he became."
"Master used to be a…good man?"
"Hmph, I couldn't care less about what that freak used to be! All that matters to me right now is the bastard that he is. I will never forgive him for as long as I live!"
Serine smacks her hand on the nearby dresser, causing the cosmetics to shake for a bit, becoming slightly disorganized.
"So, back to you, Lily. What do you think?"
I have buried my true feelings deep inside of me for so long, it's difficult for me to let them out now. But if Serine and Yami can do it…
"I…I…I hate what I have become. My mother never raised me to be a slave, or someone's plaything for pleasure. I'm nothing more than a doll–I can hardly recognize who I am anymore. No, I don't know who I am anymore. I am terribly afraid of what Master Olan is going to do to me…even worse things that he has yet to do. Despite feeling this way, my body can't shed a tear–I am completely broken."
Sharing the same sentiment, Serine hugs Lily from the front while Yami embraces her from the back–altogether sandwiching Lily., whose head hangs low.
"Lily, what we said about you is true: you have grown so much. To be able to endure so much despite being a child slave is a measure of immense strength. That's something the rest of us have never had to endure, yet you are still here. In that regard, I envy you."
"..."
"Those feelings that you have are the true you deep down, awaiting freedom. All of us share that trait, but the most important thing is to never lose your feelings; your true feelings are your true self. If anyone can make you forget that, then what would make you any different from being dead?"
I'm still alive? After all this time, I'm still alive somewhere…
Reaching deep into her pockets, Serine plants a small capsule inside Lily's palm.
"Here, take this."
"Miss Serine, what's–"
"Don't sweat the details, just consider it a special gift from your senior. Since you will become a concubine like us, you will need to be prepared in case of emergency."
"Emergency? What kind of emergency?"
"If you thought what Olan has done to your body was bad enough, just wait until you become his concubine. Lily, I can speak from personal experience–you haven't seen anything yet."
He can do even worse things? Worse than…that woman I hate?
"Olan typically likes to spend 'special time' with his concubines the night of their ceremony. If he gets too rough for you to endure, just use the little gift I gave you. You are still very young after all…"
"Please, Miss Lily, I insist that you take Miss Serine's gift and keep it close to you. I am not sure of its contents myself, but I trust her judgment."
Lily looks down at her hand, gazing at the small capsule that was gifted to her. After feeling its texture for a moment, she clenches her fingers around it tightly, then nods.
"Words can't express how indebted I am to you both."
"Indebted? Lily, you do not owe us or anyone anything. I know that this is difficult and a bit pretentious of me, but promise me one thing…"
"?"
Serine touches Lily's chest assertively with her pointer finger.
"Promise that no matter what happens, you won't let him take what's inside here. If you can do that, then you are ready."
The thought of having to endure more than I already have sickens me, but I can't let him take what's left of me. I must keep the memory of who I truly am–for my sake and my mother's.
Mother, I promise to reunite with you one day. I will be the daughter you loved fondly.
Lily lifts up her head highly, returning the piercing star that she has been on the receiving end of.
"I promise!"