1214-05-18 B
Adrian Kundra:
As the night goes on, time feels slow. What just happened keeps playing in my head. I was ready to die. But not for that.
It makes me sick. I want to throw up, but I don't. I can't. I have to stay still. I don't even want to think about what she's feeling.
I want to be mad. I want to yell. I want to scream. But really… I just want to say sorry. It's not like I let it happen. But I could've stopped it. I didn't.
My body froze. My hands didn't move. It was like time broke. Like the world just stopped. All I could think about was safety. Pallas. My family. The ones I left.
I keep thinking—I could've fought back. I could've killed her. But… maybe part of me didn't want to. Maybe part of me let it happen. That's not true. I was just… shocked. She made the first move. A move I didn't see coming.
The sky is clear now. The moon shines over us. The fog hasn't lifted. It wraps around the camp like a ghost. The day they said they'd escape… the day of the fight… it's close now.
All I can think about is Liora. My mind. My pain. My regret.
My father… Aldric Kundra. A man of few words. A strong man. Since I was a child, he told me about a power. A lost power. A power no one else could use.
Twelve thrones. He said they rule this world.
He told me I wouldn't be alive when he returned. That when he does he'll bring ruin. I didn't know what he meant. After my mother died, he changed. Not cold. Not angry. Just… like he expected it.
Like he saw it coming.
It felt like this scene had played out hundreds… maybe even thousands of times.
I remember what he said. That we were just repeating words. Like incense—just smoke and noise, nothing real. Like we were vomiting up what we heard the day before.
I once saw him yell at Voss for not being original. For saying the same thing twice.
He was strange. Odd.
But I still loved my father.
But who could've seen this?
Days pass. Time flies. It feels like forever since we started this war. But in the end, it's just one chapter in something much bigger.
Lilian leaves the tent. Her hair's a mess. There's regret in her eyes. I want to scream. I want to tell her the truth.
"Sit beside me," I say, patting the ground just outside the tent.
She listens. Obeys. Her face shows a hundred words she doesn't say.
"I'm…I was…" is all she gets out.
I know what she means. But I can't answer. The pain's still there. The hate too.
"I won't say what you did was okay. But… if you do have a child, I'll protect you. Both of you."
She cries. Tears fall from her eyes.
"You always told me I could join you. That I could come to Pallas. How can you forgive me after what I did?"
"It'll be hard. But you're family. Everyone here is family to me."
She hesitates. "If I may be bold, Your Highness…"
"Go on."
"What would your people think… if they knew you had a child with someone from Wara?"
"It's best if—"
"Don't." I cut her off. "Every life matters."
Even this one. Even if they were made in pain, in a moment of regret. This palace, this fog… I won't let it take you. Or them.
"Your Highness… that doesn't answer my question."
"I guess it depends. If we have a son or a daughter."
"A son?"
"By our law… he wouldn't be allowed to rule. Not as king."
"And if it's a daughter?"
"She would be a rightful heir."
A pause, then a shift—gentle but real.
"My sister was born from my father and a woman from Khiz."
"You have a sister?" she asks. "I didn't know."
"She was kept hidden. Her eyes weren't like ours. Not golden. They were bright green."
She was exiled. Refused to marry someone from our kingdom.
I don't know what happened to her. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder… if she's okay.
They probably went back to Khiz. I never met the man she loved. At the time… I was still engaged to Liora.
Or at least… I hope she did. I hope she's alive. I hope to see her again. To see her green eyes shine.
Though deep down, I know it won't happen.
"What was her name?"
"Ava, Ava Kundra."
The night moves. The moon crawls across the sky, slow, quiet.
Lilian reaches her hand toward mine. Holds it.
And I don't pull away.
I don't hate the feeling.
Though… there's a small ache in my chest.
We sit in silence for a while. The fog wraps around the camp like a blanket. Soft. Cold. Still.
She looks at the sky. Then at me.
"You ever wonder why I became an assassin?"
I don't answer at first. I just stare at the moon.
"You could've had a better life," I say. "Tobe is peaceful. They welcome anyone. You could've lived well there."
She lets out a breath. Sharp. Like a laugh, but not really.
"A child born in a castle always wears a crown," she says. "But one born on the streets… we learn to survive without thrones."
I look at her. She's not smiling. Her eyes are dark, heavy with something I can't name.
"You were a prince. A king-to-be. You had balls. Banquets. Fancy clothes. While you were eating roasted duck or whatever rich people eat… I was digging through trash for bread."
I feel my chest tighten. I look away.
"I was homeless," she says. "Me and my friend. We had no one but each other. That's why we've always been together. That's why we fight."
I nod slowly.
"My life's been easy. At least compared to yours."
I think of my mother. Her face. Her voice. How I lost her. I think of the kids who never talked to me. Who stared from behind guards and gold.
"I didn't get to have real friends. Couldn't play in the mud. Couldn't run through markets. Everything was rules and lessons and silence."
She doesn't say anything. So I keep going.
"But when I become king… I swear the cries of people like you… people like the old you… they won't fall on deaf ears."
She looks at me for a long time.
"It's easy to say that," she says. "Hard to act."
I nod again.
Then she whispers, "I know I made a mistake. But I love you."
My breath catches.
"If you hate me… I understand."
She leans in.
I freeze. My heart pounds. Part of me wants to move. Part of me wants to run. But I don't.
She kisses me.
Soft.
And I kiss her back.
Part of me wants to love her back.