It isn't until I'm in the carriage and well on my way home that I ponder if maybe I should have pretended to be more shocked at Parth killing that group of men. Most noble ladies probably would have been horrified, but I had seen far too many dead men to find any of it truly shocking. I had seen Parth, or the other versions of him, kill many a time before. Never in my defense of course, usually in defense of the heroine, but none of it was terribly surprising.
But he did give me a bit of a strange look afterward, I hadn't clocked it at the time but it was probably because of how calm and unbothered I was. He probably thought it strange.
Oh well. There isn't much I can do about it now.
After we are back in my room and away from any curious ears I turn to Anne.
"Why did you leave?" It was rather strange behavior for her to leave me alone entirely of her own volition, much less so I could spend time with a man.
She gives me a part nervous part bashful smile, "well, its just that you never have any friends my lady. I worry about you, you always seem so lonely. So when I saw how relaxed you seemed around him, I just wanted you to be able to have a good time. Maybe finally make a real friend."
I sigh, I figured it was something like that. It was something Anne had done before, in previous lives. Trying to find me friends, help me fit in. Those attempts never ended well. She meant well, and maybe if I were someone else she would have succeeded.
This time isn't likely to end much better than any of the last times though. Eventually something will happen to the protagonist, I'll seem like the bad guy, then he realizes everyone was right about me all along and he stops looking at me with such kindness. It's inevitable.
I thank Anne for trying to help before sending her away, sinking into one of the cushy sofa's in the room. Why do I feel so sad when I think about Parth inevitably hating me. Was two interactions where he was nice to me all it took for me to become attached to him. Was I really that desperate? Did I really not know better by this point?
Yet no matter how stupid I told myself I was being, that little bit of warmth I felt in his presence stayed, brining with it a tiny spark of hope. The same hope I had felt a million times before, that maybe things would be different this time. But they never were. This was not going to end any differently than any of those other times. By the end of this life he would look at me with nothing but hate, and would happily watch from the sidelines as I died.
Yet no matter how much I reminded myself of every other time hoping like this had ended horribly, the feeling stayed.
---
I was roused by a cheerful Anne on the day of the much dreaded meeting. I was dressed up in the brand new dress that had arrived yesterday. It was a dark red, with little gold flowers and vines climbing up from the hem. A little brighter than the clothes I usually wear, but I suppose the gold is appropriate considering I'm going to be meeting the royal family. Also, there are definitely people who might consider it disrespectful to wear black to meet the royals. What with it being considered something only worn at funerals.
Finally finished being dolled up by early afternoon I got a couple hours to wait around and really marinate in my dread. Before is was finally time to head to the palace.
After the dead silent carriage ride with my father we stepped out in front of the shiny royal palace. We were greeted by a steward before being lead down several hallways and entering a lavishly decorated receiving room.
The decor was largely in reds and dark browns, with several velvet sofas and chairs scattered around a wooden coffee table. With the royal family, all blue eyed and golden haired. The emperor sits on a love seat with the empress in front of a low coffee table, while Prince Alaric sits to his left in a armchair. The whole thing giving a rather informal air.
I curtsy in front of them as my father bows next to me. We are asked to sit across from them and after the perfunctory greetings, everyone finally gets down to business. By which I mean my father and the emperor get down to business.
"I do hope your being here means you intend to accept the proposal?" The emperor begins. (I really should learn his name)
"We would be honored too, your majesty. My daughter was thrilled when we received the proposal." My father lies with a completely straight face. Isn't lying to the emperor a crime or something, that's a nice thought, get him thrown in jail for treason or something.
"I'm glad to hear it. I was worried my son would never find a girl he liked, but now he has finally found someone. I am so pleased, and your daughter does seem like the perfect match." The emperor praises, I lower my head and act pleased and demure as he talks completely over me. Like I'm a particularly fine horse he's talking about buying, rather than a human being.
The emperor continues, "Well, we had a standard six month engagement period in mind. With the announcement being made tomorrow, and a celebration banquet held in a month."
My father agrees and they hammer out the details of where the wedding will be held, in the palace, who will officiate, some important sounding priest, and other details which will become meaningless when the prince inevitably breaks off the engagement for his true love.
Finally the emperor leans back with a smile and speaks to me for the first time since I entered, "how about you and Alaric head out for some tea while your father and I discuss the specific agreements between out two houses." While I am grateful I won't have to sit through them discussing the exact amount of money and political power I am being sold for, I am also not terribly thrilled at the prospect of hanging out alone with the prince. Although I am now engaged to him so I suppose I should get used to it.
I dip my head and softly agree before Alaric, who had been equally silent this entire time, stands and offers me a hand up. I take it and he pulls me to my feet. He extends an arm which I take as we exit the room.
We walk next to each other to a nearby courtyard with a tea spread already prepared. Complete with delicate white table cloth, pretty but uncomfortable chairs, fancy porcelain tea cups, and tiny delicate pastries.
We sit across from each other before a servant pours tea. Then with a gesture of his hand all of the servants clear out, leaving us in a semblance or privacy. Though I am sure there are guards somewhere nearby.