"After that, I just kept coming to your book signing events." Makoto continued, his voice lowering, as though the weight of his words was catching up to him.
"I watched you get better... Your novels, your interviews... Every time I read them, every time I saw you on screen, I felt so close to you, even though I was just a stranger watching from the sidelines."
Ayaka felt her breath catch in her throat.
There was something in his voice, a raw sincerity that made her heart beat just a little faster.
She hadn't realized how deeply he had followed her journey, how every word she wrote, every sentence spoken in an interview, had somehow touched him.
It made her feel exposed, yet oddly connected to him in a way she couldn't explain.
Makoto paused, his eyes distant as if he was searching for the right words, something painful lingering in the silence between them.
Finally, he spoke again, voice a little softer but filled with the weight of something unspoken.
"When you published that book... Where We Left Off..." He took a deep breath, and Ayaka noticed the way his hands tightened around the glass in front of him.
His eyes shifted, their intensity directed at some faraway memory that seemed to torment him.
Ayaka swallowed hard, her pulse quickening as she realized the gravity of what he was saying.
Where We Left Off...
That book.
Her latest novel had been one of the most personal pieces she'd ever written, full of hidden emotions she had barely been able to express on the page.
It was about love her... about Akihiko... The story they wrote together.
"I don't know why, but my heart ached when I read it." Makoto confessed, his voice thick with emotion.
His eyes locked onto hers now, the vulnerability in them making her chest tighten.
"It felt like... like you were falling for someone. And every time I read those lines, I blamed myself for not telling you sooner, for not being the one who could tell you how much I cared."
Ayaka's breath hitched as the words sunk in.
The air between them grew heavier, charged with the weight of years of unspoken feelings.
She could hear the honesty in his voice, the regret, the tenderness.
Her mind raced, emotions swirling inside her, and a knot formed in her throat.
She hadn't known, not truly, how much he had been carrying, how much of his heart had been hidden behind his quiet smiles and teasing comments.
Makoto leaned forward slightly, his eyes searching hers with a kind of intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. "I knew I should've said something." he continued, his voice low but firm. "But I didn't. And now, I don't want to live with the regret of never having told you how I felt. I've been watching you, hoping you'd notice... wishing that somehow, you'd see me as more than just another face in the crowd."
Ayaka's heart pounded in her chest, the words feeling like a revelation, like a slow-burning realization that she had been missing something right in front of her.
The tears that had been threatening to fall earlier were now close to spilling over, but she blinked them away, unwilling to show the vulnerability she felt deep inside.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the words got caught in her throat.
"I—" She started, but the words faltered.
She didn't know how to respond.
Her mind was still racing, trying to catch up with the gravity of what Makoto had just confessed. "I didn't know..." she finally managed to say, her voice barely above a whisper.
Makoto smiled softly, a bittersweet expression that tugged at her heart. "I never expected you to know."
He said quietly, his gaze softening. "But now you do. And all I want is a chance... a chance to show you what's been right here all along."
The sincerity in his voice made Ayaka's chest ache.
She had always admired Makoto, but in this moment, something more was blooming inside her.
She had always been so caught up in the past, in the shadow of someone who wasn't here, that she hadn't allowed herself to consider what was standing right in front of her.
The feeling in her chest was overwhelming now, something both familiar and terrifying at once.
Ayaka felt her hand tremble as she set her glass down on the table, her heart racing, her mind still spinning with the rush of emotions. "Makoto... I—" she started again, but the words wouldn't come. She felt the intensity of his gaze on her, and it was like the whole world had stopped.
There was no more room for hesitation, no more room for doubt.
The silence between them was thick, almost suffocating, but it was also filled with a strange sort of promise, as though everything they had both been holding back was finally coming to the surface.
Makoto's expression softened, and he reached out, his hand hovering just a few inches from hers. "I know it's a lot to process." he said gently. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to make any decisions right now. I just needed you to know how I felt... How I still feel."
Ayaka's heart was pounding so loudly now that it almost drowned out the sound of his voice.
She could see the vulnerability in his eyes, the rawness of his confession, and something deep inside her began to shift.
She wanted to say something, to tell him how much his words meant to her, but she was too overwhelmed.
"Makoto..." she whispered again, this time her voice barely audible, but filled with the weight of everything she had been keeping locked inside.
Ayaka's thoughts immediately drifted back to Akihiko.
The name, the memories, the feelings she had buried so deep within her—they all came rushing back in an instant.
She had tried so hard to move on, to let herself breathe without the constant ache of his absence.
But no matter how many times she told herself she was ready to face the future, her heart always returned to him.
She still loved him.
She still wanted him.
Makoto's words had cut through the fog in her mind, bringing clarity in a way nothing else could, but they also made her realize how much she was holding onto the past.
No matter how sincere Makoto was, how much she admired him and felt her heart stir in his presence, a part of her was still tethered to Akihiko.
He had been her first love, and that bond wasn't something she could easily untangle.
Ayaka lowered her head, her fingers trembling slightly as they played with the edge of her sleeve.
A deep, aching sadness settled over her as she tried to suppress the tears that threatened to break free.
She wanted to move on.
She wanted to let herself open up to the possibility of something new, but how could she? How could she just forget?
Makoto seemed to sense the shift in her mood.
He saw the conflict on her face, the way her body tensed as if she were fighting an internal battle, and without another word, he stood up from his chair and walked around the table toward her.
He knelt down in front of her, his eyes soft but filled with determination.
"Hey." Makoto said gently, his voice full of empathy. "I get it. I really do."
Ayaka's heart pounded in her chest as she looked at him, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to explain the storm of emotions swirling inside her.
She wanted to speak, but her throat felt tight, as if her words would choke her before she could even utter them.
"I know you're still holding on to him." Makoto continued, his voice soft but steady.
"And I'm not asking you to forget about him or erase what you felt. I just... I want you to know that I'm here, Ayaka. I'm here for you, no matter what."
Tears welled up in Ayaka's eyes, threatening to spill over, but she held them back, not wanting to break down in front of him.
She had been so focused on Akihiko's absence, so wrapped up in the idea of waiting for something that may never come, that she hadn't stopped to consider the possibility of someone else being there for her.
Someone who could love her, not as a substitute, but as she was—flaws, memories, and all.
Makoto seemed to sense the turmoil inside her, and before she could respond, he reached out and pulled her into his arms.
It was a tight embrace, one that wrapped around her like a promise, like a shield against the overwhelming confusion that had gripped her heart.
Ayaka stiffened at first, surprised by the suddenness of the gesture, but then, as she felt the warmth of his arms, the strength in the way he held her, something inside her began to break.
She closed her eyes and let herself lean into him, not entirely letting go of the memories of Akihiko, but allowing herself a moment of comfort that she had been denying herself for so long.
Makoto rested his chin on the top of her head, his voice quiet but filled with unwavering sincerity. "I'll wait for you. Ayaka. As long as it takes. You don't have to choose anything right now. You don't have to move on if you're not ready."
Ayaka's breath hitched as the first tear finally slipped down her cheek, a silent reminder of how much she had been carrying inside, how much pain she had buried in her chest for far too long.
The warmth of his embrace, his words, they both calmed the storm inside her, but they also reminded her of the heavy weight she had been carrying for so long.
"I don't want to hurt you..." Ayaka whispered, her voice shaking slightly as she spoke into his chest. "I don't know if I can move on. Not when he's still in my heart. Not when I still think about him every day."
Makoto's arms tightened around her, pulling her closer, as if trying to absorb her pain, to share it with her.
"I'm not asking you to forget him..." he said softly, his breath warm against her hair.
"I'm not asking you to let him go right now. I'm just asking you to let me be here for you. To let me be someone who can share this with you, who can be the one to hold you when it gets too hard. I promise..."
Ayaka clutched onto him, her emotions running wild.
She hadn't realized how much she had been suffocating under the weight of her own heartache.
She hadn't allowed herself to feel anything other than the longing for Akihiko, the desperate hope that he would return, that he would come back and everything would fall into place.
But Makoto's words, his warmth, they were offering her something different—a chance to heal, to move forward, not with the intention of forgetting the past, but with the strength to embrace the future.
"I don't deserve your love..." Ayaka admitted quietly, her voice trembling in the calm of his embrace.
Makoto gently pulled back, just enough to look into her eyes.
His gaze was soft, understanding, as if he could see the battle inside her, the way she was torn between two worlds.
And then, in a gesture that made her heart race, he cupped her face in his hands, his thumb wiping away the tear that had escaped.
"You don't have to choose right now." he said, his voice steady but filled with emotion.
"Take your time. But know this—I'm here, and I'll be waiting. Whatever you need, whenever you're ready, I'll be here."
The sincerity in his eyes, the tenderness in his touch, it was enough to make Ayaka's heart ache in a way she hadn't expected.
She didn't have all the answers.
She didn't know how she would move forward, how she could possibly let go of the love she had for Akihiko.
But she knew one thing—Makoto was here, and he wasn't asking her to let go of the past.
He was offering her a future, a future where she didn't have to face the world alone.
Ayaka felt a flicker of hope.
Not the kind that came from waiting for the past to return, but the kind that came from embracing the present.
She didn't know what the future would hold, but she knew that, for now, she could allow herself to feel something other than pain.
And for that, she was grateful.