When Robert returned to the bar again…
Martin and that stunning beauty from before were nowhere to be seen.
No need to guess—Robert already knew exactly what they were off doing.
That's right. They were doing it.
…
Martin had been led by Kournikova to a bedroom with a massive display bed.
Surprised, he remarked, "They even have fully furnished bedrooms here? Talk about thoughtful service."
Kournikova giggled, "They're specially prepared for certain… lustful types. Like us."
Martin scooped the woman up in a bridal carry and swept the room with a quick magical scan.
Perfect—no hidden cameras or listening devices detected.
He casually flicked his right foot back to shut the door. A gentle swirl of magic clicked the lock, and he carried the girl straight toward the large bed.
...
Robert Downey Jr. sat alone on a bar lounge chair, sipping his drink while watching one of the "artistic performers" dance in a birdcage overhead—not a bad way to kill time.
Just then, Jack Nicholson strolled over with a woman in his arms.
"Hey, Robert! You seriously planning to go solo tonight? Why not let Anna here set you up with someone?"
With a smug grin, he tightened his hold on the woman. "Anna's a famous dancer from Italy. She's got a few sisters working here too."
"Uh… thanks, but no thanks." Robert raised his glass in polite refusal.
"Come on, man. You can have a little fun without crossing the line. It's not cheating unless you make it so."
"Still, I'll pass. Appreciate it, though." Robert gave a wry smile. "I don't trust my own self-control."
His words made Anna's eyes light up. Who would've thought you could still run into a loyal guy in a place like this? An absolute gem.
In that instant, Jack—who had just moments ago seemed quite charming in Anna's eyes—suddenly turned into a wrinkled old prune, while the weary, reserved Robert radiated a whole new level of masculine allure.
Being an old hand at this sort of thing, Jack quickly picked up on the shift and whisked Anna away.
"Don't mind that guy. He's just trying to stay pure for his wife. Let's go check out the other side of the room."
...
With Jack gone, Leonardo showed up—with yet another gorgeous blonde in tow.
Leonardo's taste never changed: blonde hair, blue eyes, and mile-long legs. Robert even recognized her—probably some famous football cheearleader from Europe.
"Yo, you flying solo?" Leonardo asked as he scanned the room. "Where are Martin and Jack?"
Donny shrugged. "Old Jack just left with someone named Anna. Martin? Who knows. Probably off getting 'busy' with some hot chick."
"And you?"
"I'm good. Just drinking and admiring the view. Nice little breather."
"Fair enough. I won't bother you then."
"Off you go."
Donny waved him off with a smile.
Leonardo turned to his date. "Blondie, how about we find a bed of our own?"
The blonde giggled and immediately stood up.
...
Later that night.
A very refreshed-looking Martin and Leonardo returned to the bar—Jack came too, but looked noticeably worn out.
They walked in to find Robert, now quite tipsy, playing a round of rock-paper-scissors with a pretty girl.
Jack laughed loudly. "Told ya! No way that kid was that loyal."
"Give me a break, they're just playing rock-paper-scissors," Martin deadpanned.
Leonardo squinted. "Wait, that girl looks familiar… Oh! She was the one dancing in the birdcage earlier."
Her figure had clearly left a strong impression.
Seeing the trio arrive, Robert stood up. "You guys finally showed up!"
Then he turned to Jack with a look of mock disbelief. "I get why Martin and Leo are still going strong, but you… seriously?"
Jack didn't get it at first. Then his face darkened. "What the hell? You underestimating me? Ask Martin and Leo what I was like during The Departed! I was a damn machine in those trailers!"
Martin chuckled. "C'mon, Jack. Your girl already spilled the tea—said you were shaking the whole damn trailer. Guy's a freakin' legend!"
Jack blushed, but quickly regained his composure. "So what? Shaking the trailer just proves I've got stamina!"
Leonardo couldn't help but curse. "Jesus, your shamelessness knows no bounds…"
"Anyway, can we go now?" Donny asked, clearly over it. He barely spared a glance at the "artistic performer" he'd been playing with. "This party's boring as hell."
"Agreed," Martin nodded.
"Seconded," said Leonardo.
Jack threw a mini tantrum. "You ungrateful bastards! Do you know how much money and favors I burned to get us into this party?!"
"Nope."
"Don't care."
"Too bad."
Martin and the others responded in unison, leaving Jack itching to grow three middle fingers just so he could flip each of them off.
...
Back in the borrowed car from the hotel, Robert suddenly gasped, his drunken eyes flashing sharp as he stared at Martin.
"Wait a sec—I just remembered! The woman you disappeared with earlier… wasn't she that tennis player? What was her name again? Something like kurk?"
"You were faking being drunk?" Leonardo blinked, then immediately shifted focus. "Wait—Martin, you scored with a tennis babe?"
Donny answered, "I had to fake being drunk to fend off that Italian dancer. Girl was way too aggressive."
Then he looked back at Martin. "So seriously—who was that girl?"
Even Jack was intrigued. "What kurk are we talking about here?"
"Kournikova. The tennis beauty," Martin admitted freely.
"Damn, lucky bastard."
Leonardo, a long-time tennis fan, perked up. He never missed the U.S. Open if he could help it, and knew quite a few tennis stars by name.
Kournikova, aside from being a little too well-endowed for his taste, hit almost every point on his ideal-woman checklist.
Jack, on the other hand, just shook his head. "Don't know her. Never cared much for tennis. I'm more into basketball and American football. Now that's the kind of sport a real man should be watching."