I don't own Percy Jackson, it belongs to Rick Riordan and A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thones belongs to George R. R. Martin, as well as any other items that appear here, credits to their respective creators
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"Percy and Company in the True North" will basically be told from the diary/logbook of everyone's favorite sarcastic son of the sea, Percy Jackson.
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Percy Jackson's Diary: Entry Five
Location: Somewhere cold and definitely not New York.
Mood: slightly frozen and extra sarcastic.
Dear Diary...
Whoever is reading this, I hope you're comfortable at home, wrapped in a blanket with a cup of hot cocoa, because I have some not-so-fun news from the front lines of the strangest adventure yet. I thought that the demigod life couldn't get any stranger after fighting giant ants and the occasional raging spirit of a sea gorgon, that was strange, but boy, was I wrong. Spoiler alert: it just got a lot colder.
Last night I woke up shivering in what looked like a forest straight out of an old winter fairy tale, except that instead of cozy snowmen and friendly forest creatures, we were surrounded by creepy trees I mentioned earlier and looked like something out of a horror movie, with faces warped by torment. I almost expected them to start reciting their own tragic stories as they tried to eat us. Because, you know, a typical Tuesday for a demigod!
We're still not sure how we ended up here, but guess what? It turns out that Jason and I, along with a group of other Greek and Roman demigods, some very displeased amazons and hunters of Artemis, were mysteriously transported here during what I can only assume was a pleasant seasonal nap (Note: Read sarcastically).
My best bets on the culprits?, The three old ladies who have nothing better to do than mess with each other's lives, Hades and Zeus are exchanging darts again or Zeus, Hera, Athena and Ares who had decided how to make my life even more annoying. There is nothing like sibling rivalry or proud, spiteful gods to send us spiraling into unknown territory. Thank you for standing up for me, Dad! (Note: Read sarcastically again)
At first, I thought maybe we had landed in a snowy version of Canada, given that the trees were covered in a thick layer of frost and the air was cold enough to freeze the demons from my past and turn them into ice cubes. I mean, I love a good snowy day as much as any demigod (who doesn't love a spontaneous game of snowball fighting?), but this was starting to feel like a National Geographic episode about the brutal wilderness of Hoth, or something equally chilling.
So there we were, all wrapped up in what we had on and wolf skins, the huntresses with their splendid bows and a few Amazons making sure their warrior gear was still intimidatingly elegant. We had no idea why it happened, we just huddled by the campfires to warm up when... bam! The temperature plummeted further, waking us up abruptly and putting out the campfires. I mean, I know we weren't in Alaska for a ski trip, but judging by the snow-capped peaks in the distance, we were definitely not in Kansas either.
Suddenly, out of the darkness, they appeared. Remember how in horror movies where everything is quiet and then gets eerily loud right before something ugly happens?
Yes, that was our sign.
Frozen zombies, yes, you read that right, zombies dressed in torn and tattered clothes that seemed to belong to the ice age. Their pale, frozen bodies crawled toward us like discarded mannequins from a thrift store. Wonderful.
At first, I thought it might be Nico playing a killer prank on us (literally), because who else would summon a threat like this in the middle of the night? However, my demigod instincts kicked in, and I quickly dismissed that possibility when one of the zombies pounced on me with an icy moan that would make any horror movie fan proud. No, this was beyond my emo cousin's usual antics.
If I thought we had taken a vacation, I was sorely mistaken! Jason, I, and everyone else drew our weapons as the undead army closed in and chaos erupted like a poorly designed dodgeball game between demigods. The huntresses sprang into action with their silver arrows, while I did my best to drown out that inner panic and focus on the task at hand.
"You don't frighten me, Wesker!" I screamed as I summoned a wave of water thanks to the snow below us to push back the nearest zombies, and yes, I'm fully aware that I can be a little theatrical in times of danger. But hey, I was just trying to stay warm while fighting an army of corpse icicles! Meanwhile, Jason radiated enough storm energy to make anyone reconsider their life choices; Those zombies might be regretting their life-not-life decisions at the time.
But there were too many of them, so for a few minutes the fight seemed endless, with the undead charging at us. I thought about suggesting we have a hot chocolate afterwards, but my voice was too busy shouting battle cries and encouraging Jason to keep sounding the thunder while still keeping the snow and ice turned to water against the zombies. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of dodging frozen limbs and preventing them from trying to eat my brain and others, we managed to finish off every last of our icy enemies.
Panting and slightly frozen, we finally took a moment to catch our breath, staring at each other and at the somewhat destroyed tree line that still bore witness to our impromptu zombie movie. Not to mention, all Greek half-bloods check ourselves for bites and then we checked the Romans who looked at us confused, while the hunters looked at us with annoyance and some anger while pointing their weapons at us, the Amazons also did it, but I did not check any of them despite the requests of some of them.
Rubbing my arms together for warmth, I scanned the sky, which, curiously, was clearer and more starry than anything I'd ever seen in New York. The constellations seemed strange, like a poorly made puzzle in which none of the pieces fit. Why didn't we notice it before?
"Well, this isn't Canada or Kansas," I said, pointing up. Does anyone recognize anything?
The hunters exchanged looks of bewilderment. Even they seemed momentarily bewildered, and when you've hunted beasts and monsters with Artemis's blessing, recognizing a starry sky should be child's play.
Frustrated but fascinated, I couldn't help but complain: "We're not lost, are we? I mean, I can't be a hero and yet somehow find myself stuck in limbo playing 'guess what constellation it is' with a bunch of demigods and frozen zombies." But deep down, I knew it was only a matter of time before fate demanded that we solve this new mystery, and I hope it doesn't involve any more icy corpses trying to eat our brains.
So we are spending the rest of the night trying to identify something in the sky and the only thing I know is this: the adventure (so to call it) is far from over and the last person to leave the forest should make sure to bring a bag with everything they need to make hot chocolate. I hope to return to Camp Mestizo with a story that is at least moderately impressive.
Saying goodbye to the frigid desert, Percy "The Freezing" Jackson
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