Chapter 19 - XVII

🛤️ On the Road to Change

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The path to the training grounds was longer than expected.

Or maybe it just felt that way, since Eren was excited.

Eren walked with his hands balled into fists, eyes burning with anticipation. He imagined shouting. Running. Blades. Combat. He wanted to be pushed and wanted to bleed. Wanted to earn the strength to kill every Titan alive. "You think there'll be combat first? Or maybe they'll have us study weak points and tactics..." Eren mused

Armin walked beside him, visibly trying to suppress a nervous frown.

He adjusted the straps on his pack for the third time, It was as if he had something valuable...he didn't.

"If they focus more on combat than academics… I might not last long."

Mikasa walked in silence on Eren's other side, hugging her scarf as if it'd protect her.

Her expression didn't change, but her eyes scanned the trees, the road, the horizon.

She hoped it would be difficult.

Not because she craved challenge, but because challenge meant distraction. And at this point? Anything was better than thinking.

...

The gate to the training grounds loomed ahead.

Barbed fences. Bare courtyards. Stone barracks lined in perfect symmetry.

And at the center of it all:

A man.

Broad-shouldered. Shaved head. Barked voice, and surely he didn't have any sort of bias towards Eren.

Keith Shadis.Commandant of the 104th.

The second the recruits stepped off the cart, he began.

As officers lined them up, Shadis walked, slowly... menacingly? But definitely with the intent to harm emotionally.

"You're here because you think you're special."

Shadis paced down the line of wide-eyed cadets, such malleable things...a shame they'd be beaten into soldiers...or top-grade titan fodder.

"You think you're brave. Righteous. Heroes."

He stopped, examined the victims, and chose the most punishing way.

Leaned forward.

"You're not."

One by one, he broke them.

Psychologically, verbally, and clinically.

He didn't yell for effect—he dissected.

He mocked dialects, simply to instate a sense of inferiority. He picked apart family histories, and yes, he had checked those beforehand. Found the softest weakness and pressed.

By the third cadet, one had already thrown in the towel and quit. By the seventh, another was crying. By the tenth, a boy had lost all motive to continue, apparently,

High above, a military officer passed by with a clipboard, trailed by a quiet attendant.

He stopped as he watched.

"Shadis hasn't changed."

The attendant raised an eyebrow. "He's skipping some of them, though."

"Noticed that too."

The officer pointed to five cadets.

"Those eyes. They were there. During the Fall."

Mikasa Ackerman. Annie Leonhart. Kaelen Yeager. Bertholdt Hoover. Ymir. Eren Yeager. Reiner Braun.

"Expressionless. Already dead inside. He doesn't need to break them. The world already did."

Ironically, the one not spared—

Armin Arlert.

Shadis locked eyes with him and tore him apart, because who doesn't wanna try that?

"Spindly arms. Looks like a scared broomstick. What'd you come here for, to cry at the front line?"

Armin trembled.

"I—I want to see the ocean—"

"The what?!"

Shadis leaned close, for dramatic effect and to increase pressure.

"The next time you dream, make sure you survive the night first, Arlelt."

Just as the pressure reached its boiling point—

A crunch.

All eyes turned.

There, halfway down the line, stood Sasha Braus.

Cheeks puffed.

A half-eaten potato in one hand.

Shadis blinked, because seriously what was she doing?

"What are you doing?"

She swallowed, then smiled.

"Eating… sir."

"Why?"

"…Because it looked really good. And I was hungry."

The cadets were frozen.

Even Mikasa blinked.

Even Annie's stoic expression twitched.

Kaelen's uncaring self was a bit confused on how sincere her desire for food was.

Shadis stared at her.

Sasha blinked.

Then, with an very generous smile—

She broke the potato in half.

Held out a steaming chunk.

"…Would you like some, sir?"

Dead silence.

Shadis's eye twitched.

"…Run. Ten laps. Now."

Sasha smiled.

"Do I get to keep the other half?"

...[1]

Later that evening, the recruits were lined up and assigned barrack numbers.

Their feet hurt. Their minds were numb. Their stomachs roared.

But something had changed.

They weren't just people anymore.

They were cadets.

And the process of becoming soldiers had begun.

...

Training had ended for the day.

The sun bled across the horizon, casting long shadows over the training yard. The air smelled of sweat, dirt, and the quiet kind of exhaustion that dulled even the most haunted minds.

But Eren's didn't dull.

It replayed—again and again.

His mother's voice.

The crash of wood and stone.

Her last scream.

"Run… and don't look back!"

And then the sound of teeth, that haunting smile.

He clenched his jaw.

Walked faster.

Maybe if he trained hard enough. Fought hard enough. Maybe the images would finally—

And then he saw it.

A silver tuft of hair, 

Leaning casually against the side of the barracks wall.

Eyes half-closed, arms hanging loosely by his sides, a familiar pose, because Eren remember distinctly who did it.

Like he'd never left.

"Kaelen—?"

Their eyes met.

Eren's breath caught.

His body moved before his brain did.

He ran forward and threw his arms around him.

Tight. Fast. Real.

Kaelen twitched, his eyes snapping back to reality and his body reacted rather slow.

He didn't return the hug.

At first.

Then—

He sighed. Relaxed.

"Have you missed me that much?" he muttered. "Seems like you're still five years old, huh?" The lazy, sarcasm voice and the shameless arrogance...everything that proved it was him.

Eren didn't laugh.

Didn't retort.

Instead, he pulled back, and with his signature unpredictablity.

And swung.

Kaelen tilted his head, just enough to dodge.

Eren growled, as he threw another fist. "Where the hell have you been?! Why now?! What happened to Dad?!"

Kaelen exhaled slowly, as if he

"I couldn't catch the same ship out. I stayed near Wall Sheena—posed as a farmhand."

Eren's anger faltered, as it usually did around family, he was running out of them after all.

He blinked.

"…Alone?"

Kaelen nodded, calmly

"Alone."

Eren looked away.

Something inside him clenched.

He'd had Mikasa. Armin. Refugee shelters. Hot meals, even if they were few and far between.

Kaelen had nothing.

No one.

Kaelen inwardly sighed.

He couldn't tell Eren everything yet.

Not about Rod.

Not about Alma.

Not about what he'd done for Historia.

So he changed the subject.

"So dear brother, considering you joined the 104th, I assume you're still stuck on?" Kaelen trailed off.

Eren's eyes lit with fire, as confirmed it.

"Kill them."

Kaelen raised an eyebrow, that same rage was even more potent now.

"All of them?"

Eren nodded.

"Every last Titan."

Kaelen gave a half-smile, the pale blue of his eyes glowing with tinges of happiness.

"Guess I'll join your little dream, then."

Eren frowned, despite being family, they often didn't share the same dreams or desires.

"Since when do you want to fight Titans? You're more of the watch-from-a-distance type." Eren said, not to invoke guilt since Kaelen doesn't feel any.

Kaelen shrugged.

"I'm not one for dreams. But without Mom or Dad… this life isn't as fun."

He paused, a rare expression of annoyance.

"And failure… is disgusting."

Eren's eyes hardened, the possibility of failing was unacceptable at this point.

"Yeah. It is. Glad we agree."

Eren stretched, glancing toward the field.

"…Who is that?"

Kaelen followed his gaze, as a wave of that odd sincere hunger hit him full force.

Sasha Braus was mid-sprint, legs burning, hair flying, a full 4 laps into her punishment run.

"Oh, you mean Potato Girl?" Kaelen smirked, the name had reached him as well.

Eren shook his head, he felt bad but she was showing serious misconduct.

"No. The one behind the tree."

Kaelen turned slightly, sighing slightly, he was trying to ignore her and get a proper feel on nature.

Saw the blonde head.

Soft hair.

Eyes peeking out, full of wonder.

Krista.

No.Historia.

He laughed.

"Ah. That's just like you and your little girlfriend."

Eren didn't even react at first, the information was a bit much.

"…What?"

"That's our relationship," Kaelen said, still smiling. "The blonde girl and I. Same as you and Mikasa."

Eren blinked.

Didn't care.

Didn't want to play this game again, back in Shiganshina, Kaelen is beloved...because he's hot. Something he'll never stop bragging about to this day.

But Kaelen wouldn't let it go, he never did.

 "What, you still won't admit it? How about this then..." Kaelen said, thinking of the worst possible sentence. "You'd be fine with Mikasa marrying someone else, right?"

"Of course—"

He stopped, he was falling into the trap again. Eyes narrowed. Pulse calmed. And naturally, the only way to beat Kaelen wasn't with words but with actions.

"You—"

Kaelen raised both hands in mock surrender, he never fought back...it was refreshing but sometimes he wished he'd be less antagonistic.

Eren grumbled.

"You're insufferable."

He turned to leave, before side-eying him.

"Introduce yourself to Mikasa and Armin already."

Kaelen waved lazily, going back to learning.

"Sure. I'll make sure to forget."

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[Auther: Yo. Anyways, here's the awaited picture of Kaelen, since we're finally at the 104th Training Corp arc.]

[1] "She didn't get to keep the other half...."