It doesn't come all at once. Not in a rush. Not like a storm, tearing everything in its path. No, this is more like... a thousand small, sharp pieces of glass falling into place inside my chest. One by one, they cut, and with each cut, the memories bleed into my mind.
I feel the weight of them. The weight of the first life I lived. The one before everything became a cycle.
I stand on a balcony. The sky is a velvet purple, tinged with red, like it's been burned by a fire that refuses to die. The air smells like saltwater and smoke. Below me, the ocean crashes against cliffs, furious, endless.
And he's there. The God of Death.
Not just the shadow I remember. Not the cursed figure in my dreams.
He's beautiful. Dangerous.
I remember his eyes. Gold. Bright like a furnace burning everything in its path. And in them, I see something else. Something that's not supposed to exist between a god and a mortal. Something fragile.
"You don't belong here."
His voice rips through me, soft but harsh at the same time, like he's trying to pull me from this world. The world where we exist; where we shouldn't be.
But I can't go. Not now. Not when I feel this pull, this connection, between us. His eyes are magnetic, pulling me into a gravity I can't escape.
I turn, away from the ocean, toward him. And there's Ren. Not as I remember him now. But younger. Brighter. Mortal. So alive. His eyes meet mine with an expression I can't read—but I know.
I remember. He was my love. He was the one who felt like sunlight after years in the dark.
I felt safe in his arms. But I couldn't stay. Not for long.
Not with the God of Death in the distance, watching us.
I betrayed him.
I remember a vow, a promise made, a deal struck with the God of Death. He was mine. I was his. But I couldn't live with that, couldn't live with being forced into the arms of a god I didn't want.
So I broke the vow. I ran to Ren, to the mortal who made me feel real.
But the God of Death wasn't forgiving.
And as I ran, I felt the earth crack beneath me.
And then…
The pain. The agony of love turned to ashes. I could feel my life unraveling, time bending back on itself. A curse. A promise made in blood.
"You will love me in every life," he whispered. "And you will never escape."
The God of Death. His punishment. My endless, unbroken chain.
But Ren…
He doesn't know. He never knew.
In every life, I would fall in love with him. In every life, I would be forced to watch him die. Every time.
And I would die too. Always. Because we were bound. Bound by a curse, bound by a contract I couldn't break.
But this time, I did.
This time, I broke it. I broke the cycle.
I remember that moment, that choice. The power I had, the strength to make it stop. To sever that eternal link. To finally escape.
And I did.
But now...
Now I'm remembering everything. And I can't forget the cost.
I see the God of Death again. His face is more than cruel now. It's something darker. Something that breaks me inside.
"You belong to me, always."
I try to scream. But I can't.
And in that moment, everything shifts.
The world cracks wide open, and I remember everything. Everything that led to this.
Everything that bound us together in a cycle that would never end… except that I broke it.
But why does it still feel like it's pulling me back?
I don't know if I can bear it.