The pole in my hands was as lengthy as a regular sword, it wasn't huge, but it felt dense.
A faint blue aura was wrapped around it. The light color blue mixed in with the weapon as it started to move randomly in the air.
"..." I was pretty much speechless because it was just a cylinder pole. At least it was smooth and shiny, but that was about it.
There was no way in the novel Dorian fought Allan with a pole. He would be slaughtered in seconds as one of the main antagonists.
Maybe there was some type of mistake in my formation in the weapon because my memories and experiences aren't the same as Dorian's.
I couldn't answer my question from earlier. Nothing made much sense.
The weapon didn't matter much to the 'me right now' anyway because I had the Shaping Will to change the form of my weapon.
Well I don't have a reason to change the shape of my weapon right now, not that I even know how to anyway-
"Alright..." I took a big breath and pushed myself up from my knees, my clear shiny pole in my off-hand.
How do you put this thing away?
I skimmed at it, it was nice and all but I probably shouldn't wander around the Andras mansion with a giant pole in my hand, I'll be apprehended by a guard walking around in no time.
My face sank at the thought of being brutally beaten up by some unknown guards wandering around during their breaks.
"Yeah let's put this thing away somehow..."
How did Allan put away his weapon? It wasn't stated in the novel, so I might as well try to figure this out. Think of putting the weapon away maybe?
I began to close my eyes again and put out my hand with the weapon in front of me.
Maybe reverse physiology is the trick to this or something. I began to imagine not wanting the weapon.
This weapon isn't useful right now...
The energy in my hands faded, and the weight in my off-hand began to lighten again.
When I opened my eyes again the weapon was gone.
"That's pretty cool..." I was surprised to see it disappear like it never existed.
I looked around and began looking for the nearest double door. It was time to start moving again, now that my body felt better.
"Let's do this!" This time, optimistic about finding my way out of this maze, I began scouring for my room, unaware of other people's presence.
.
.
.
In front of me were two regular-sized double doors, it was definitely not as big as Donte's office's.
I decided to go into the left room, because why not?
I hope on the other side there wasn't anyone.
This was my only chance to figure out where I was and what I could do to get back to Dorian's room.
Twisting the knob, I saw a lavish, clean, sparkling room. It was spacious enough to hold an entire party.
Gladly, there wasn't anyone here.
What was in front of me was a bed bigger than a king or queen size, its covers were dyed purple, and the bed had already been made.
Everything in front of me looked like royalty. I mean it all felt foreign, to say the least.
The flooring of the room was this time white carpet, but it was way too white, not a single part looked different.
Who's room was this?
There had been a door opened in the back next to a beautiful out view of the mansion's surrounding forest.
On the opposite of the door was a bathroom, a huge one that had everything a commoner person would've wanted.
And most importantly there was a mirror! I could finally look at myself.
I eventually stood in front of the mirror and established eye contact with myself before looking at Dorian's body.
His face was quite basic. With a strong and sculpted jawline and pale skin, it was ordinary.
I took a closer look at Dorian's face again; he had eye bags below his eyes, which didn't seem good to me.
Dorian was thin, with wide shoulders and jet-black hair that dropped in front of his gray eyes.
Maybe I didn't get enough sleep when I first transmigrated, which is why I felt so heavy.
Because his body wasn't as bad as I originally thought, although, from my point of view, he looked emaciated...
Now that I think of it, I haven't eaten anything since I came here, but I don't feel hungry at all right now, like I don't have the sense of craving.
I was a total couch potato back then...
Was I?
All I remember doing before and after school was sleeping, eating, and reading [Give Up? Never!], that sounds pretty sad now that I think about it again.
It wasn't sad for me; I loved reading and it was the one thing that kept me going in life.
It wasn't sad to me, I enjoyed reading a lot, and it was the only thing that kept me going in life.
I enjoyed interacting with Lucy, Julie, Loni, Grace, and Molly... the list goes on, their interactions with me were as clear as day.
I might be delusional...
I couldn't shake off this emotion, the emotion of joy and happiness when I saw them in the text. I imagined them as people in my mind.
Each night I dreamed of interactions with them. Interactions with them as... Allan Rayas.
But now...
I'm not Allan Rayas.
I lifted my head to look at myself. My gray iris didn't shine brightly in my vision, and my eyes looked tired.
I'm not the main character.
I didn't care if I was or not, but for some reason, my heart began to tighten at the thought.
I'm Dorian Andras.
I quickly left the bathroom and the room. Closing the door I put my head down and thought awhile about where I am.
I always question myself, but I never give myself answers. I've been confused and lost this entire time.
I want to just give up.
My heart tightens even more. I know the ending, but here I am wandering around the Andras estate lost like a little kid.
I know how everyone dies, how my, now, sister, Lucy Andras dies. She was beautiful, to say the least, and that was one of the many heroines I've read about.
But they all die.
Because Allan ran away.
The lingering set of emotions I felt before my transmigration resurfaced. That stupid author killed everyone off because he felt like it.
I want to save everyone. To save everyone I need to become stronger, but where do I go? How do I grow stronger if I can't even get out of this damn mansion...
The light outside had already begun to fade, and the sun was closing in. Not a single person was heard or seen this entire time.
.
.
.
From dawn to dusk I wandered around the mansion aimlessly, would Joseph just come to the rescue and save me already?
Guide me to my room just like how he did to Donte's office. That was completely stupid, to be honest...
How come I haven't made contact with a single person? It felt odd.
Finally, another double door at the end of the hallway appeared in front of me.
The door looked as if it was the same one as before.
I didn't care anymore because I was already wandering through the mansion for hours without any social interaction or sight of human figures.
To be truthful, I could've just slept in some random person's place but I decided not to.
It would be suspicious if Dorian was found unconscious in some random person's room.
Father probably still suspects me of using Erasure even though it resides in Alvion. And if I told the guards that I don't remember where my room is, I'd probably be caught by Donte for 'lying' and imprisoned.
I opened the same double door and was presented with the familiar garden. It looked as calming as ever.
This time, the night sky took over the garden, it made me forget about all that had happened earlier.
The same enclosed garden closed off with the dark-blue fences, and the same grass and plant's that remained there.
I didn't get to soak in the cool atmosphere because I was already fatigued.
Again on the other side of the door was the long hallway stretched out by a red carpet, the same corridor I passed out in.
It made me shiver again, but then again I was too tired to think straight.
I opened my single door to be greeted with the same crappy room from when I first woke up in.
The insects still infested this place, but I could've cared less than when I first did. At least the white mattress was clean, but it was left undone the same way I had left it.
I took off my scratched-up brown loafers and plopped face-first into the bed.
Ding!
I could've cared less because I was too tired from the mental exhaustion I built up from wandering around in this huge mansion.
My consciousness gradually began to fade away again. My heart was strangely filled with both peace and remorse.
.
.
.
Walking sure is a pain.