Ron, who had just been sorted into Gryffindor, walked over to the house table and sat next to Harry. The two of them had already become friends on the train.
Everyone was quietly chatting with the people around them, and the first-year students were fitting in quite well. Besides the famously inclusive Hufflepuff, Gryffindor was also known for its welcoming nature.
Albus Dumbledore stood up and began his usual start-of-term speech: "Welcome to Hogwarts for another new school year! Before the feast begins, I have just a few words to say. And they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
After he sat back down, the famous Harry Potter voiced the question that was on many first-years' minds: "Is he a bit…mad?"
The older students began to explain to the newcomers how amazing Dumbledore was, trying to ease their confusion.
Though the upperclassmen were singing Dumbledore's praises, the truth was they didn't really understand what he meant either—it was clearly beyond the syllabus. With a puzzled look, Angelina asked, "Eda, what do you think our Headmaster meant by that?"
Reading comprehension was something Eda was fairly good at—she could even read multiple meanings into a single word like "early."
After thinking for a moment, Eda answered uncertainly, "He's probably referring to the four houses!"
"How can that have anything to do with the four houses? That doesn't really make sense," said Fred. "Aren't you reading too much into it?"
"Everyone except Ravenclaw is a 'nitwit,' everyone except Gryffindor is a 'blubberer,' everyone except Slytherin is 'Oddment,' and everyone except Hufflepuff is a 'tweak,'" Eda explained. "That's probably what he meant—perhaps the Headmaster was just trying to show off his sense of humor."
Eda put her brain to work and gave her friends the most reasonable explanation she could come up with. After hearing her interpretation, her friends realized there really could be that kind of hidden meaning—not only was it brutal, it was also deeply insulting.
"Dumbledore is just too humorous," said Fred.
"So humorous that barely anyone can understand him," George added.
Eda, of course, wasn't Dumbledore, so she couldn't possibly know what he was really thinking. It was just her own interpretation. As for how many points it would earn on an essay—well, she had no clue. After all, a thousand people have a thousand Hamlets in their hearts.
By now, the plates on the table were piled high with food. Ron, having opened the floodgates of his appetite, made it abundantly clear to everyone who truly deserved the title of Hogwarts' No.1 Eating Champion.
Eda? Totally outclassed—not even in the same league.
When it came to dueling, Eda could pound the table and declare, "There's not a single student in all four houses who can beat me!" But when it came to food… she bowed down to Ron in absolute admiration. There was no competing with that gluttonous goblin.
At least Eda made some effort to maintain her image while eating. Sure, she ate a lot and ate fast, but she still kept a semblance of grace. Ron Weasley, on the other hand, had no concern for appearances at all when he ate. A drumstick in his left hand, another in his right—left and right, one swift move after another.
Ron could make his fork and knife blur with motion and inhale an entire pie in a single bite. Eda had to admit: when it came to eating like that, she simply didn't have what it took.
The new Gryffindor first-years began introducing themselves to each other, often mentioning their backgrounds.
Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington also performed his traditional act—showing what it meant to be "nearly headless"—and successfully gave the new students quite a scare.
Eda found this year's batch of new students pretty interesting. There was Harry, the youngest of the Weasley brothers, the knowledge-showoff Hermione Granger, the crybaby Neville Longbottom, and a particularly amusing-looking boy named Seamus Finnigan.
She wondered if there'd be a chance this year to finally break Slytherin's monopoly on the House Cup.
Once everyone was full and satisfied, Dumbledore stood up again and laid out a few school rules for the students. For example, the Forbidden Forest was off-limits—Dumbledore looked at Eda and the twins as he said that. And no magic in the corridors—this time, he looked straight at Eda alone.
"Finally," Dumbledore said gravely, "I must tell you that anyone who does not wish to suffer a sudden and the most painful death should stay away from the corridor on the right-hand side of the 3rd floor."
The twins' eyes lit up—they'd just found their goal for the new school year. Fred nudged Eda and said, "Well? When are we going to check that place out?"
"Dumbledore said it out loud—obviously that means he wants us to go. Pick a time, Eda!" George said excitedly, already eager to explore the 3rd-floor right-hand corridor.
The twins' interpretation of things was truly one of a kind—their thinking was nothing if not... creative.
"Sure, but let's wait a week or two," Eda agreed to the twins' suggestion. "The professors are strict at the start of term—let's lay low for a bit." She, too, was full of curiosity about that place—classic Gryffindor curiosity.
If Dumbledore hadn't said anything, no one would've even thought of that corridor. The right-hand corridor on the 3rd floor was practically unused, almost forgotten. But now that he'd brought it up, people like the twins and Eda—curious to the core—would definitely want to go and check it out.
Of course, if that corridor really could threaten student safety, Dumbledore couldn't just say nothing. He needed to give everyone a heads-up, to stop people from getting themselves killed doing something stupid.
But it was just like those "Deep Water—Danger" signs by the lakeside. The ones who would listen, would listen. The ones who wouldn't, would simply ignore it.
Another thing was that Dumbledore only said it was dangerous, but never explained why.
Everyone knew the Forbidden Forest was full of wild beasts, but this corridor? No reason given. That just made people's curiosity worse.
Eda could guarantee that she and the twins weren't the only ones planning to explore the right-hand corridor on the 3rd floor.
After the lavish feast and the slightly off-key singing of the school song, the Welcome Feast came to an end.
The first-years followed Percy, the prefect, as he led them through the noisy crowd and out of the hall. As for students like Eda, who were already used to everything, she left the moment the feast ended.
Eda and the twins headed toward Gryffindor Tower, chatting along the way about their business venture—the Navigation Map. They'd sold a batch last year, and it had been a big hit. There were even bootlegs at one point. But this year, the business was facing a new challenge.
Most of the first-years who'd bought maps last year did so because they were unfamiliar with the castle. After a full year of studying and exploring the school, they no longer needed them. Their maps were sitting idle and could easily be resold to the incoming class.
Eda, being a firm believer in business integrity, hadn't tampered with the maps in any way.
The spells placed on them were strictly to prevent copying, so the maps could easily be handed down. And that, clearly, would hinder their current sales.
But Eda wasn't without solutions.
She had already made some upgrades to this year's product—a brand-new version, even better than the previous VIP edition—because this time, she'd added Filch's name notification to the map!
As the school caretaker, Filch had always been hardworking, dedicated, and tireless...
Well, the dude probably enjoyed the thrill of catching rule-breaking students with his own hands, and students, in turn, "hated his guts," going to great lengths to avoid him.
But the caretaker was truly a master among masters—impossible to guard against. Every school year, the number of students he caught was countless. And Eda's new map was made specifically to counter Filch.
The map could track Filch's movements and issue early warnings—students who had suffered because of him would definitely love it. Even goody-two-shoes could buy one, just in case!
That wasn't all. Eda also planned to launch a customizable couples edition, where users could add the name of any student or professor to the map and know their whereabouts at all times.
Of course, that was a bit morally questionable and might end up breaking up some not-so-solid couples, so... that version would be priced a bit higher!!
Eda had benefited immensely from the Marauder's Map and had found a real financial opportunity. To keep milking that revenue stream until graduation, she planned to release a version upgrade every year, with prices varying based on the model. By the time they graduated, they'd be on Map VI—absolutely perfect.
Eda figured that by then, she'd have saved enough startup capital to open a joke shop in partnership with the twins—her very own business in the wizarding world.
As for the initial operating capital, she could borrow a bit from Professor McGonagall—or squeeze a little out of Dumbledore. Eda trusted in the twins' talent for this sort of thing. As long as they could survive the first two months, patching money together from here and there, they'd be fine.
The future was looking pretty bright!
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